Discourage? - ThinnerTimes

SweetAngel81 · 09-19-2007, 05:52 PM

I'm wondering if I'm "lucky" or if this is normal that when you tell people you are going to hopefully going to get GB surgery..they always have a friends sisters cousins brother that had it and it has ruined their lives they are miserable and sick all the time...I'm just discouraged by this because I thought people would be happy that i'm being active in trying to get healthy for myself.

Hunnyblonde · 09-19-2007, 07:11 PM

I got so tired of hearing negative comments about my decision to have wls that I finally had to be blunt with people. Because I had done my research, discussed it with my family (and had their support) and was basically as informed as possible without actually having the surgery I had two different ways of handling the negative comments.

If someone was ignorant about the surgery and wanted to learn, I would educate them. If they were ignorant and wanted to stay that way I'd say, "My doctor and I agree this is the best thing for my health, so I am not listening to any comments that aren't supportive of my decision." It generally shut people up.

Good luck on your journey!

Claire-in-Texas · 09-19-2007, 07:42 PM

It's human nature - people tell me war stories all the time.

I didn't tell anyone ahead of time - just my husband knew. I have two grown children, but they live far away, and I wanted to get a sense of it all before "discussing" it with them. As it turned out, I never did "discuss it" with them. I sent them an email telling them of the decision my husband and I made for my lap RNY, why I made the decision, and that I wanted to write it all out so that they would be able to read it, grasp it and understand my motivations. I wanted their support, but not their permission.

They were and are very supportive. I did the same thing with similar emails to my friends. Also very supportive. Sometimes when you tell people, they don't know what to say, and out of their mouths come this nonsense. And the nonsense should not be part of the decision making process. Just good ole info and research and comfort level on your part.

Best wishes to you!

Deirdrea · 09-20-2007, 08:44 AM

I think it's human nature to "tell horror stories". I'd also keep in mind where these "stories" are coming from. It's never someone that they know personally it's always my brother's wife's cousin's roommate's girlfriend or something like that. How on EARTH could they really know. I think bad surgery stories are just part of urban legend now and you have to take them for what they are... stories.

I'm sure that you've done your homework and between you and your doctors decided what the best thing for you is and that surgery is completely safe and sound for you.

electrichoney · 09-21-2007, 11:52 AM

You know, it's really interesting to me that so many others here have had this experience, but it's never happened to me. I've told a zillion people about my surgery and have never gotten even one negative remark. The only concern ever expressed was by my father, who only said he thought it seemed kind of an extreme measure to take (but given that I was 400 pounds at the time, I figured extreme measures were essential!!). He told my mother privately the night before my surgery that he was scared that I might not come out of it and didn't really want me to do it, but was then and still is supportive of my process. I have a pretty outgoing personality, so maybe people are just too intimidated to be negative?

Seriously, SweetAngel, I think Claire and Rene are right -- you have to do what's good for YOU and say the hell with people who express that negative crap. The bottom line for me is that we all -- every one of us -- look at things through our own filters, and you really have no idea why someone is sharing the negativity with you. In some cases, like has been discussed in other threads, it could be that subconsciously they're jealous that you're going to be doing something to improve your health that they don't have the guts to do. Don't let anyone sway you from your decision -- just make sure *you* are educated as much as possible so you can make the best choices for *your* health. Good luck!!

P.S. Claire - your new avatar is FABULOUS! You look wonderful!

Sny'sWife · 09-21-2007, 12:03 PM

* rolls eyes * don't you love how they go on and on...

I had one friend tell me she didn't want to scare me but so and so died from it...

Just ignore them and educate yourself... There are risks, but if everyone's second cousin's girlfriends neice died from it then I'm sure it wouldn't be done as often...

Claire-in-Texas · 09-21-2007, 12:48 PM

Thank you, Rhonda, for your kind words!

You have a good head on your shoulders, besides that strong and outgoing personality. You go, girl!!!

desmccoy · 09-24-2007, 07:38 AM

Don't get discouraged people are ignorant. They poke fun when your fat and they poke fun when yopu want to change your life. I have one friend that because I had this surgery she wants to change her eating habits. She says " if your gonna be skinny I want to be skinny." I 'm 27 and she is going to 42 but I think its wonderful. The whole thing is I just want to be normal not skinny.