HELP...Question about Child Custody/Spousal Support - Page 2 - ThinnerTimes

Livin' La Vida Lori · 08-13-2007, 09:14 PM

I used to be a child support officer many many years ago. I know that she can file for support thru the district attorney's office and they will call them both in, run both of their incomes thru a computer program and slap him with an order to pay support. If he works a regular job, they will garnish his wages and send the money directly to her. If he works under the table and hides his assets then she's pretty much s.o.l.

SPICYEYES99 · 08-14-2007, 12:51 AM

I started with the Womens Resource Center in oceanside. And I did the court thing all on my own with their volenteers and the classes are good too! there are low to median incomoe housing all over the place, I lived in one in Carlsbad, of all places~! It was great!

Blueyz · 08-20-2007, 08:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cinerbelle

Hi Everyone,

Can any of you tell me what happens when you need to get divorced and have kids and can't afford a lawyer. How do you afford to live on your own...especially when you are in such debt???

Any info would be appreciated.

Thanks!
Cindy

I am sorry that I don't know, but I can tell you that I haven't received an ounce of child support for about 12 years....pretty bad. I think I received 1 $50 dollar check that I really wanted to frame instead of cashing...too bad, eh.

Sorry to hear about your sister.

Hope all is well with you

Debz · 08-21-2007, 11:46 AM

I got divorced in the state of Washington, so I'm not sure how much will apply, but I do know that what I did there is also easily do-able here in NY, so, hopefully, some of this is useful.

First, I talked with my local YWCA...they had a lawyer and several paralegals that were as helpful as all get out with filling out all of the forms. (I swear, even tho legal documents are written in a language that looks so much like English, they're pretty inscrutable.). As a matter of fact, when I finally went to court, one of the para-legals went with me for moral support. She was great.

After seeing the people at the YWCA, I went to the court house and talked to the family law facilitators(FLF). Since so many people are getting divorced these days....most courthouses have FLF's to help people who don't have lawyers navigate the system. Most require that you have an appointment...I didn't have one, so I waited in front of the guys office until someone didn't show up, and then begged for that time. He gave it to me and was quite helpful in printing out all the forms I'd need for divorce, child support, etc. He also suggested I see the Domestic Violence judge that morning...so I did.

Speaking of the Domestic Violence judge...My ex never raised a hand to me. He shoved me around some, locked me out of our house...you know, all the things that pussy guys do...but he never actually hit me. But the night before I filed he said "I wish you were a guy so I could beat the living shit out of you". That was enough for the judge to feel that I was in danger of physical harm and serve an order of protection against him. Maybe your BIL's outburst would be the same for your sis.

All of this happened in one day...Order of protection, child support order, divorce proceedings....and the gravy was that because the order of protection had to be served by the cops...I didn't even have to pay to get him served for the other documents....the nice officers that showed up to vacate him from my house served everything for me.

I didn't even have to pay to file...the FLF had me see another judge that waived the fee for me. In the end the whole thing cost me 10 bucks. Best ten bucks I've ever spent. I lost 225 ugly pounds for a mere 10 dollars...

Best of luck to your sister....this part is the hard part for sure....

As far as the debt goes....bankruptcy was invented for just this sort of thing. I was desperately broke in the beginning...but I had to weigh my living situation against how much I was going to pay for the psychotherapy involved if I didn't get my daughter out ASAP. It was tough...but we made it and it's the best, most empowering thing I've ever done.

Duckie · 08-21-2007, 11:54 AM

{{{{{{{{{{deb}}}}}}}}}

Debz · 08-21-2007, 11:57 AM

Thanks, Duckie....but honestly it's the best thing I've ever done in my life. I've soooooo moved on. I'm happy...in a great relationship, and nothing like that man could ever happen to me again. It taught me how to love myself!

Duckie · 08-21-2007, 11:59 AM

I believe you hon! If anyone ever hurt me like that... my 2 brothers... or their biker friends (hells angels type) would seriously kill them.

AlabamaChick · 08-22-2007, 05:37 AM

I don't have any advice regarding the filing or free help because the legal program in my area takes around 5 to 6 months to get to see someone, which I did not have to wait. But I only paid $500 for my divorce lawyer, that included filing. I did most of the leg work and pushing myself to get it all done, as I was considered not really a paying client (yeah, whatever), but it was final within six months. As far as a protection order, I had my husband moved out one night by the police. He was served with the protection order and had 5 minutes to get his "clothes only" together and get out of the house. I wasn't even home, I knew the deputies and they were in contact with me before and after to let me know what was going on and when it was safe for me and the kids to go home. To get a protection order, my husband only had to drop a bullet in my hand one night at bedtime and walk off laughing. That was good enough for the judge!

Cindy, I'm sorry your sis is having to go through this! It's not an easy road for ANYONE, especially with children and financial difficulties. I was desperate at first... I went to churches for help with food. I stood in lines at 3 am in the morning until the door opened at 7 am in 22-degree weather and ended up sick to get help with my electricity bill. My credit was ruined! But we did survive (me and my two kids). But it left big scars inside. I NEVER wanna be that desperate again. I'm sure your sis will need all the help and support she can get from your family too. It breaks my heart to think how many women stay in a bad situation because they have children or no money and feel stuck! I felt that way for a long, long time. Just helpless......