I'm thinking of NOT telling ANYONE - ThinnerTimes

I_love_Hello Kitty · 07-10-2007, 11:34 PM

I am having surgery on 8/14/07. I have been fat my whole life. So when there is a dramatic weight change..obviously people will notice...and frankly I don't want to have to justify to anyone...everyone...why I did this. So far my husband, my brother and 2 friends who live out of the area know. All 4 have been supportive...but I knew they would be and thats why I told these 4. I was thinking of not telling anyone else.

If people ask about it...I will just say I made a life change...small portions, high protein, low carb and more exercise...those are not lies...

Do you feel like it would be more difficult to just not tell anyone than to simply be open???? My husband thinks people will find out anyway...but I think...how could they? If I say nothing more....

What do you think? Has anyone out there told only like one or two closest people and no one else? Has any one lied about it to people?

so_gorjess · 07-11-2007, 05:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by I_love_Hello Kitty

I am having surgery on 8/14/07. I have been fat my whole life. So when there is a dramatic weight change..obviously people will notice...and frankly I don't want to have to justify to anyone...everyone...why I did this. So far my husband, my brother and 2 friends who live out of the area know. All 4 have been supportive...but I knew they would be and thats why I told these 4. I was thinking of not telling anyone else.

If people ask about it...I will just say I made a life change...small portions, high protein, low carb and more exercise...those are not lies...

Do you feel like it would be more difficult to just not tell anyone than to simply be open???? My husband thinks people will find out anyway...but I think...how could they? If I say nothing more....

What do you think? Has anyone out there told only like one or two closest people and no one else? Has any one lied about it to people?

Well, I am nine months out and I have have told basically no one about my WLS. I mean, no one within my 'social circle' which are the people who matter anyway. I made the decision 'not to tell' all the way from my pre-op days. I just did not want to be asked a gazillion question or given the classic "oh I know somebody who knows somebody who knew somebody who married somebody who had gastric bypass and after losing one thousand pounds she turned green with red polka dots on her face and butt".

Obviously after 100+ pounds lost a lot of my friends and acquaintances have commented and asked questions on my weight loss and I've basically told them: 1) I'm eating healthy*which is true* 2)I'm eating less*which is true* 3)I exercise*which is true...sometimes lol*. A lot of my 'girl' friends have asked me "how do I do it?" and that's when I smirk and giggle to myself, like I have my own little secret...which I do....and it's great because I was always the type of person who preferred to keep to herself and even though I'm wayyyyyyy more socially outgoing now there's still a part of me who doesn't feel like being completely OPEN with the world.

fr1endly2 · 07-11-2007, 06:31 AM

PRE OP the only people that new i was haveing gastric bypass surgery was my immediate family and my small number of clients. ( i didnt want them to worry when i had all the pre op doctor appointments and think i was sick)

but then once i lost alot of weight i told sometimes and sometimes i didnt. DEPENDED on my mood LOL

Polly D · 07-11-2007, 06:48 AM

I have told my closest friends, my boss, and by the time I need to I will tell my parents and sisters. I too am seriously considering telling NO ONE else. I have always been quite a 'teller' telling people the second I knew I was pregnant or suspected it or we were even just trying. But my reasons are the same as yours: I do not want to need to justify myself to everyone. I do not want to hear about the people they know who had it who had XX complication/knows someone who knows someone who died/gained it all back. I'm not even telling close friends, only the closest.

I don't consider it a lie. Many people don't divulge everything about themselves to everyone, and the change of lifestyle is going to make the change. The surgery just makes it more possible to change.

Gina in NY · 07-11-2007, 07:08 AM

I have two people at work who know, folks at the gym know, but I never told anyone else at work. The thing is, I am sure some folks have figured it out - but no is talking to me about it, so I'm happy. People ask how I do it, I say I am at the gym every day and I eat less half of what I used to. I even had someone congratulate me on doing it "Without that surgery". To which I replied - "That surgery saves peoples lives." and she quickly said, "Oh no, there is nothing wrong with it!"

When I go back to school in September, I may let it slip to someone with a big mouth and that way, anyone who is interested in having the surgery can talk to me about it.

I wanted to be done - to have been successful before I had to defend my decision. There are some real jerks out there and this is process is tough enough without having to explain everything to people who are hostile.

I feel good about my decision to keep quiet. I feel good and ready to talk about it in the fall. We all have to do what we are comfortable with.

I even planned a sentance to use if someone came out and asked me if I had GBP. Here it is, "If I had had a gastric bypass and hadn't told anyone, it would most likely mean I didnt want to talk about it." and I'd just keep repeating that sentance as needed, but no one asked.

Take care - it is your decision and the only person who needs to be happy with it is you.

Corrine · 07-11-2007, 09:30 AM

I've only told a handful of people that I was considering weight loss surgery but from the response, I won't be discussing it with anyone else in the near future.

All saw it as the "easy" way out and I got fed up trying to educate them.

Luna Lurker · 07-11-2007, 09:38 AM

When I first started my journey to have GBS, I didn't tell anyone and I was okay with that. Later, I was seeking support from some family and close friends, but I was careful who I told especailly if I thought they'd be judgemental. So little by little more people have been included in my informed group. I'm comfortable with that now too. Negitive reactions were what I feared most. But with the help of others, I've learned it's what I think of my choices I make that matters most. It sometimes gives me the opportunity to educate mis-informed people about GBS. Bottom line is, I'm in control of my own life & it feels great!!

KarenInKali · 07-11-2007, 10:52 AM

I have decided not to tell anyone other than my mom and best friend that I am trying to do this also. Obviously, my husband and kids know, but we are going to not tell extended family and friends... my choice... for two reasons - one, I don't want to hear from everyone that it's not a good idea, blah blah blah... and two - purely selfish and vain reasons - I want to be able to walk in to the family reunion, etc. and have people who haven't seen me go "WoW!"

hxquero · 07-11-2007, 02:08 PM

I personally believe that honesty is very important. So when anyone asks me how I'm doing it...I say...I had Gastric Bypass. Then they usually ask about the details...diet, exercise, vitamins, etc. I feel that by being honest, I might give someone the courage to do it as well. If I can manage to encourage just one person...then I've succeeded! But, everyone does what they are most comfortable with...so that's what we should do...me, I'm just an honest...sometimes too honest...woman.

garymarx · 07-11-2007, 03:13 PM

I am a private person, and always have been. I don't think it is wrong to hide the fact that I am having gastric bypass, I like that phrase that Gina in NY used and think I will try to commit it to memory. My reasoning is this - knowing whether or not I had the surgery is neither relevant to either your success or my success, it's too late to change anything. I also agree with so_gorjess about telling people that I am eating less, excersizing more and doing things the right way. One day, maybe, I will be more open about it, but not right now, let me get the surgery, heal and start losing weight first.