51 Fun Things To Do At Wal-mart - ThinnerTimes

Lori P · 04-30-2007, 12:12 PM

I had to go off in search of this one just for Jen (after reading about her Wal Mart disaster). hehehehe

51 FUN THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join in.
5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.
10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.
11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".
12. Play with the automatic doors.
13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this crap, anyway?"
15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.
16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."
17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.
18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"
20. Put M&M's on layaway.
21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.
24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"
26. TP as much of the store as possible.
27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.
29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"
31. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"
32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
33. Take bets on the battle described above.
34. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
36. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."
38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"
41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
42. Two words: "Marco Polo."
43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.
44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.
45. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.
46. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"
49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax.
51. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

*hugs*

LisaBoston · 04-30-2007, 12:41 PM

Ok, I am gonna pee in my seat right now from laughing.....

WARNING............DO NOT READ THIS WHILE YOU ARE EATING......I printed it off and tried to read while having lunch. NOT.........I almost choked.

Thanks Lori........I haven't laughed so hard in a while - I think my co-workers thought I was nuts! I was imagining all of us in Walmart carrying out the stunts...could you imagine!!!! I did.

Bypassingme619 · 04-30-2007, 02:12 PM

That is funny.. Only sad thing about this list is there is no more Layaway at Wal-Mart

. Why...Wal-Mart WHY.

Princess · 04-30-2007, 04:38 PM

Very good but ya missed........

52. Take a jug of tomato juice and spill a trail all the way around the store to the "sanitary protection" aisle.

53. whilst in the changing room and you hear someone in the next one, bang on the wall and ask if they have any toilet paper.

54. Open a pack of 24 condoms and randomly place them in peoples carts!

Lori P · 04-30-2007, 05:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Princess

Very good but ya missed........

52. Take a jug of tomato juice and spill a trail all the way around the store to the "sanitary protection" aisle.

53. whilst in the changing room and you hear someone in the next one, bang on the wall and ask if they have any toilet paper.

54. Open a pack of 24 condoms and randomly place them in peoples carts!

I knew there were missing pieces. There was also one about the clothes rack too. I think that one was about mistaking it for the washroom. hehehe

Thanks for the additional ones, Samm!

*hugs*

AmandaND · 04-30-2007, 05:51 PM

OMG i should not have read this today...my poor inscisions are still healing and now my poor tummy hurts from laughing!!

crewzer · 04-30-2007, 05:55 PM

You get some of those magic detector strips and you either place them sticky side up on the floor so they stuck to the bottoms of peoples shoes, or you palm one and do the nice pat on the back/butt/bag etc. Especially if you find that grumpy as-h-le in the store. hehe.

chilmoe · 04-30-2007, 06:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by crewzer

You get some of those magic detector strips and you either place them sticky side up on the floor so they stuck to the bottoms of peoples shoes, or you palm one and do the nice pat on the back/butt/bag etc. Especially if you find that grumpy as-h-le in the store. hehe.

omg i love that one - i could see peeps getting strip searched cuz they keep beeping as they walk out the door

thanks lori, i needed this laugh - too funny

hummingbird5953 · 05-02-2007, 01:33 PM

LMAO! These were hysterical but be prepared...if you do this either the police or the men in white coats will come and take you away!! (I don't speak from personal experience...really...)

AThinnerSandyFor2006 · 05-05-2007, 02:16 PM

Lori That Was So Funny. My Boyfriend And I Set The Alarm Clocks At 10 Minute Intervals. I Laughed So Hard I Almost Pee-pee'd On Myself.

Great Post!!!!!!!!!