1 year out and dating... Questions! - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

Scarbelly · 04-15-2007, 04:00 PM

So, how do you handle telling/not telling someone new you're going out with about the bypass? Does this news freak out a lot of men?

CarlieGirl · 04-15-2007, 04:03 PM

It seems to freak everyone out that I tell, so I don't think I will tell anyone else. Men just can't seem to handle dating a former fat chick. At least, they can't me

Mavisavis · 04-15-2007, 04:24 PM

I have only had a few that it affected negatively.....and my friend who dates a lot has had a similar experience. Most men either think it is great, or it's just a detail. But there are always some who will care, like any other issue (kids, pets, race, social status, medical things, etc).

Scarbelly · 04-15-2007, 04:25 PM

AAIIEEE! I knew it. I went out on a first time date last week with a guy I met on the internet

and we seemed to be getting along great. Then I got up to go to the ladies room and ran in to the BIGGEST mouthed lady in my town. She made a huge deal about telling me how GOOOOODDD I looked so I felt like it was obvious to my date that something big had happened in my life (such as huge weight loss). Things seemed to be much cooler after that and I never heard from him again. I was wondering if he put two and two together or am I just paranoid? I know now not to meet somebody for the first time close to home!

JenBear7 · 04-15-2007, 04:27 PM

Im still pre-op, but the guys I date.. are cool either way. They think its great I am doing it.. but dont mind the big me... so I guess it just depends on the person. MYself... I would have to be honest cuz thats who I am. Id hate to date someone for a few dates (How long is socially acceptable before they SEE that you had the surgery?).. and find out they were not impressed once the clothes came off... I would handle the negativity better BEFORE I guess.. think its a very personal decision tho!

VanessaSFL · 04-15-2007, 04:33 PM

Honesty is a good policy buttttttttt when first meeting a guy I would not spill my guts to him about the surgery..maybe after a few dates or so.I am leary of most people /strangers when it comes to things that are very personal.People suck....yet I think also....If I met a guy and he was "thin" and he told me he had WLS...I would either say...me too or cool and ask million questions.

I am married so I guess MO does not matter,

Have fun dating and just enjoy yourself,

V

Jeanie · 04-15-2007, 05:09 PM

I only tell when I feel someone needs to know. My BF now I told before we even started dating, and he was fine with it from the start. If they really care about you then they are not going to care either wat. If I would go out on a date for the 1st time with someone I woulnd't say anything, and they would never comment on how much I did or didn't eat. guys think women don't eat a lot on a 1st date anyway. I say if you want to tell them then do it, but if you don't it's not there business until you are ready to make it that way.

SDeRossett · 04-15-2007, 05:13 PM

My sister had the wls 1 month after I did. She's extremly private. She asked/forbid me to tell our family that both she & I went through wls. I still after almost 5 years have not told my two brothers although I did tell my oldest sister last year. I also have an Aunt who just had the surgery last year. She flat out asked if we had it done, and of course I told her. As far as your telling a new guy about it, I agree with the others, 1st it's a personal preference for you, 2nd I would probably wait until I had been out a few times and had a chance to try to determine what the best way to tell him would be. After all you generally go out a few times and if it works it works, if it doesn't then your not telling everyone something very personal until the time is right. You do have a right to your privacy, so don't feel guilty for not tell them on the first date. I wouldn't feel bad about it. That's why it's called dating right? So you can get to know each other.

VanessaSFL · 04-15-2007, 05:33 PM

WLS is a huge part of us...but NEVER should it define us.

V

AmandaND · 04-15-2007, 05:39 PM

I am still pre-op but I tell whoever, if the subject comes up, like for me...my surgery is in 10 days and I am now on a liquid diet...i have had quite a few inquiries on the reason im not eating...so i just tell the truth, but thats how "I" personally handle it...as for men...I have chosen to stay single for the past 2 years in order to get to know myself and learn to be content alone...and just recently i have started to welcome the possibility of a man in my life...but right now when i meet them i DO say, I am going to be going through some major life changes soon, and if they ask then i tell, some are just like cool, wanna hang out lol...