Kio

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About Kio

  • Rank
    Senior Member
  • Birthday April 9

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Boston area
  • Age
    46

Information

  • Surgeon
    Scott Shikora
  • Hospital
    Brigham & Women's
  • Height (ft-in)
    5-03
  • Start Weight
    355
  • Current Weight
    249
  • Goal Weight
    140
  • Body Mass Index (BMI)
    44.1
  • Surgery Date
    9/08/2017
  • Surgery Type
    Gastric Bypass

Recent Profile Visitors

1,055 profile views
  1. Newbie!!!

    Hi, welcome! Your kids are going to thank you for this eventually - and for quitting smoking, congratulations! These are going to affect your quality of life for many, many many years. I'm in Massachusetts - a lot of us seem to be from this area. But there are some Alaskan folks wandering around, too! I wouldn't worry too much about recovery, honestly. You're young, you'll heal fast. I was moving around as easily as before a few days after surgery, and was living life as usual after two weeks max. I would say the most important thing is not letting your kids jump or bounce on you for a while - that could get dicey - and don't pick them up for 6 weeks if they weigh more than 10 lbs. You may be a little more tired than usual, but you should still be able to get done the things you need to get done. What's your support system like? Friends/family? Hey, at least you'll be doing this in June when it's going to be light out all the time - I can't imagine trying to get through this in the cold dark Alaskan winter!
  2. Confession time...

    Ugh, yeah, that year was awful. Driving down the street was like driving through canyons, snow piled higher than the roof of my car. We ran out of places to put it. Then the year of the Polar Vortex after... I’m crossing my fingers for an easy winter this year!!
  3. Confession time...

    LOL- So true, @CheeringCJ - today so far I have had half a cup of soup, half a glass of Fairlife and a slice of bacon... not at all my usual goof-off day fare!
  4. Confession time...

    Probably about 8ish inches where I live - it fell all day Saturday and through most of the night on Sunday. But we have a dog who doesn't like to walk on snow and a looooooooong driveway, so the back deck and walk, front walk and driveway kept me pretty busy! Plus we had guests, so I cleaned off their cars for them before they vanished into the night. I forget, where are you, @CheeringCJ? I'm north of Boston, and we got hammered! Well, for early-December, anyway. Our first snow is usually a lazy flurry, a few flakes but nothing sticks. This one came out of nowhere and fell pretty hard. It's melting off now, though, and I just walked Sadie - it was so pretty out, and the sidewalks were mostly dry, which she is a fan of!!
  5. I’m a terrible human being and I love myself.

    Exactly - we are all going to bring our backgrounds and personalities to the choices we make, and we only OWE honesty to ourselves. This board is so great for that - it keeps us in touch with different paths but also lets us be accountable to ourselves. On the flip side of what I said in my last reply, I also work in healthcare, so I wholeheartedly believe your surgery is private! There is absolutely no obligation to share unless you want to. There ARE people in my life I haven't told - and for what I hope are good reasons. So THOSE are the ones who will probably get @BurgundyBoy's tapeworm response!
  6. I’m a terrible human being and I love myself.

    Totally true! But it also implies that I'm doing it without surgery, I think. I feel like I should be open about it, so more people understand it's a valid and safe option - ideally! But in the moment when someone asks, I sometimes just get caught flat-footed. I planned telling certain people - ones I knew would notice and care about me - and for those it went fine. It's just when someone unexpected wants to know what I'm doing that I get a little flustered and am not sure what to say. It's funny - I grew up in a family of alcoholics, everyone but my dad drank to excess, and my dad enabled it even though he didn't drink himself. When you grow up like that, the people around you always want you to keep secrets. They don't want people to know they're alcoholics, as if it were really possible to hide it. But my parents weren't bad people, they also loved me and raised me to be smart and independent, so early on I figured out that if I bought into the secret-keeping, I'd be enabling them and harming myself. So I decided at a VERY young age - like, I'm pretty sure it happened on an elementary school bus - to just be really open about stuff with people, especially stuff like that. And I feel the same way about my WLS - like I need to share it to really be who I am and not enable the humiliated fat girl instincts I grew up with. That's just for me, though! Many, many people have great reasons for keeping WLS to themselves, to protect themselves at work or home or in important relationships, or just in the privacy of their own minds, and I fully support that, don't get me wrong. But for me, it plays into a childhood narrative of shame that I've spent a long time trying to work my way out of, so when I'm not fully open about it, I feel like I've let myself down.
  7. Confession time...

    ...it's cold and snowy out, I have no meetings today, and I fully intend to sit three feet from my work computer and... play video games and watch Netflix all day. I earned it with all the shoveling I did on Saturday! Right?!?
  8. I’m a terrible human being and I love myself.

    LOL! I'm clearly a garbage person too, because I totally want to do that. I'm in good company with you and @NerdyLady at least! I had to come up with something on the spot at a meeting the other day, and just went with a vague "trying to get healthy" - which is both true and misleading. @NerdyLady, I'm going with your style answer from now on!
  9. My program never insisted on crushing pills either - they were only chopping mine in half while I was still in the hospital. About two weeks after surgery I just said screw it and started taking my (one, smallish) pill whole. The symptoms it's supposed to prevent have not recurred, so I assume that's going well. I take calcium as soft chews, and my others are capsules with powder inside - I figure if I can digest food, I can digest a bit of gelatin to get at the meds inside?
  10. No exercise for me for a while :(

    Awww, Jen, I just saw this. That sucks. As long as you've done your RICE and it's not too bad, you should be fine. Does your program allow ibuprofen? I'm guessing not - which has to suck. I've been lucky to stay relatively pain-free since the first week of surgery, so I haven't had to worry about it - but from memory, Tylenol rarely had any effect at all on my pain levels when I took it. I was an Advil girl all the way. I'm glad things are getting better - and I'm glad you were so close to goal when it happened! Actually, one pound away really IS goal, you can go up or down more than that based on water alone. Maybe you can take this time to do some lifting with arms and just baby your knee for a while?
  11. Starting month 4...

    Ha! Yes, I did make it through that - in fact it was a total non-event, I had just blown it up in my mind to a big thing. She was clearly surprised by how I looked, but she didn't say anything negative at all, and after lunch she even emailed me to say it was good to see me and I looked fabulous. (And then in the rest of the email she stuck me with all her work for the next day because she had yet another migraine, lol - we call them "work migraines" here because everybody knows she's going to get one as soon as deadlines get close!) The one who said I should keep doing what I'm doing is actually a really nice lady who lives a couple blocks from me - we use the same hair salon and see each other at the grocery store a lot. But she hadn't seen me in a while because since surgery I really only walk the dog in town - I get out a lot more, but that means I get FURTHER out, so I don't hang out in Melrose 100% of my off time anymore.
  12. Starting month 4...

    Aw, thanks! I just try to be super honest because it helped me so much, both before and after surgery, to hear the real deal from all our vets here. It drives me nuts when people call surgery the "easy way" - when the only part of it that's easy is the part you're unconscious for!
  13. Starting month 4...

    LOL! So glad it's not an issue for you! I think it's just too dry for me. Right now I'm eating some incredibly tender roast beef slices, super thin, and they are working fine. Weird that they do, when tuna doesn't!! I also had a "taco salad" by which I mean ground beef, a couple pieces of tomato, a few shreds of lettuce and cheese, and about half a tablespoon of greek yogurt. It was DELIGHTFUL. Probably about an ounce and a half all put together, but I didn't choke on it, and that's the important thing. I'm slowly getting myself back on track - I've taken all my calcium today, and soon I'll have my multivitamin! I've also had 33 oz of water and around 20 oz of milk today, and will have more water later... so I'm doing much better on that, too. And I haven't had to throw up in almost a week now. Much, much better! Your peach "tea" sounds awesome... I generally just drink my water straight or put some lemon in it. Maybe I'll have to branch out a bit now... And in another NSV... I spent a huge chunk of yesterday shoveling SNOW! The first storm of the season. Usually our first snow is a tiny flurry, but this went up to 8 inches in places. I did our back deck, the walk way to the driveway, the whole driveway, and the front walk and steps. And then a few hours later I had to do it all again. I have a feeling shoveling is going to be my "gym" for the next few months...
  14. Starting month 4...

    Misery loves company! So it's kind of good to hear that someone else also has days where the food disagrees, and also believes in the better-out-than-in philosophy! (Though, I'm sorry you have to deal with it, too!) Generally when I start to feel like that I'll sit with it for about 15 minutes to see what happens. If it's just a bad feeling, I can generally just wait it out, and it's gone in about an hour. But if I start getting all mucusy (is that a word!?) in my nose and throat, it's definitely time to take action! I can't even imagine being a thin person, but I'm eager to try it out. Then again, I couldn't imagine being the weight I am now... and here I am! It's pretty exciting, in spite of the bumps and rough patches here and there....
  15. It's really hard to wrap my head around it, but today is the start of month 4 / end of month 3 after surgery! Getting the business stuff out of the way... Weight loss: I was 355 when I started this process in April, 298 on surgery day, and I'm 251 today. That's 57 lbs lost before surgery and 47 lost since - a total of 104 lbs down! My monthly post surgery stats are: M1: -17, M2: -14, M3: -16. So I'm giving myself an A+ for the first quarter in the weight loss department. You November newbies reading this, take note - M2 is when I had my long stall, and I STILL lost a lot, and bounced back in M3. So cut yourselves some slack! I'm super excited about where I am right now. I'll be under 250 soon and I haven't been there in over 10 years. Vitamins: I have generally done well with my vitamins, though I've recently had a rough patch - I'd say about a week and a half - where I've been doing very poorly with them. I'm working hard on getting back on track now. I give myself a B- on this part, because I absolutely know how important it is and I'm not letting it slide.. More on why I've been struggling in the next part... Protein/Water: This part has been super hard for about.... two or three weeks, I'd say. And this is why I haven't been doing well with vitamins. For a little while now, every time I put something in my mouth, there's about a 50/50 chance it's coming right back out. Could be anything - vitamins, meds, a protein shake (diluted), or food of any variety - soft, puree, dense, whatever. Honestly, at first I thought I had a stricture. But I watched some videos online, and I'm pretty sure it's just that I'm eating too fast/too much. My evidence for this is that SOMETIMES things do go down! I think if i had a stricture, it would be more all-or-nothing past a certain consistency. But there are days when I can't get a protein shake down... but later I can eat ground beef. It's just a toss-up (literally). And it's not about nausea - if it were, I'd be more worried. I'm never nauseated. I haven't had any nausea since surgery, except for one terrible tuna incident - and even then, the nausea hit WHILE I was already throwing up. No, this is about starting to feel terrible in the pouch area, burping and hiccuping repeatedly, and finally needing to make myself throw up in order to be comfortable. Which is imperative, because if I DON'T make myself throw up when this happens, it will be hours before I can eat or drink again. And then I'm behind on my protein goals, behind on my water goals, behind on my vitamin goals... etc. So this has been a pretty bad couple of weeks, and I'm pretty sure it's because I got cocky, and I hadn't been doing some basic things I needed to do: 1) Measuring carefully. So what I've figured out is that for me, since I don't have any "full" signal until it's far too late, I needed to measure my food. Not necessarily so I don't eat too many calories, because that is so not the issue, but because I can't eyeball the food and know for sure that it's not going to overload the pouch. I know, for instance, that I can eat 4 oz of yogurt, but only just BARELY 2 oz of salmon. And I need to measure those exactly using a scale, because if I eat even one bite too many, I'm losing the whole meal, and then everything deteriorates and chaos ensues on all fronts. 2) Stop beating my head against the wall. So, there's some stuff I can't eat! And I just can't eat it. It's not going to get better for a while, so I just need to stop trying. So far the things I've identified are tuna, chicken unless it is SUPER SUPER MOIST AND FRESH, packaged lunch meat, and any kind of protein shake at all. Yeah - at this point I HAVE basically tried all the protein shakes there are, and something about them has stopped working for me. I was fine with them in month one, but in month two they became hit or miss, and now they are just a solid miss every time. And it's gotten to the point that I don't even want to look at them - they are sitting in my fridge, Leah swears she will drink them, but they make me feel ill every time I see them. So if she doesn't drink them this month I'm going to get rid of them with or without her blessing. 3) Embrace what I CAN eat. This was the hardest thing, because I'm not one of those lucky people who lost all interest in food after surgery. I don't get physically hungry, ever - but I still do like food, and I like variety in my food. However, there have been days that I've been reduced to nothing but yogurt and protein bars, and I am truly, truly tired of yogurt and protein bars. Even the Oh Yeah/One bars, which are pretty good as far as protein bars go. I have also had some pretty astonishingly low calories days over the past couple of weeks - in addition to low protein - so I've had to just suck it up and eat cheese and yogurt on some days. The good news is, I'm actually getting the hang of it again. I've had three days in a row now without throwing up even once, and I've been hitting my protein goals, and getting in 800-900 calories a day. Now that the food situation has stabilized a bit, I'm getting my vitamins and water back on track, too. So here, for example, is what I'm eating lately: - Siggi's triple cream yogurt in various flavors - they come in 4 oz containers which is totally perfect for me right now. Sometimes I add some granola. - Carr's cheese melt crackers with gouda or swiss cheese on top - they're 8 carbs for 3 crackers, so I don't feel too bad about it if I only do it once a day. - Salmon with butter/lemon/garlic, which is delicious. - Shrimp with butter/lemon/garlic - thank you, all of you who suggested I give it a try, this is now a go-to meal for me! I can eat 4 small shrimp at a time and they are lovely. - Fairlife whole milk, generally 1 cup mixed with 1 cup of Starbucks blonde roast unsweetened cold brew coffee from the grocery store. This is my protein shake replacement, and it's doing its work really well for me - I wouldn't be hitting my protein goals without it. - Oh Yeah / One bars. My favorite is the almond bliss, but I also liked the seasonal pumpkin pie one I tried, and the maple donut one. - Quest Protein chips - these are actually kind of disgusting, but super easy for me to keep down. The ones that work best are salt & vinegar, because the flavoring is strong enough to kill the basic taste of the protein chip. - Sometimes chili - this doesn't always work for me, but I'm super happy when it does - Pacific Organic Creamy Tomato Soup - I salt it a lot and add some greek yogurt, and it's delicious. I've also eaten a few "off plan" things - a bite here and there. Leah ordered chicken lo mein from my favorite chicken lo mein place a few nights ago, and I hate about two bites of it. It was great, and I wasn't tempted to overeat it. Mainly I ate the chicken and onions out of it, since that's what's best about it. I bought a 75% dark chocolate bar with almonds last week and I've been eating one square per day. I ate a corner of a roll at a work dinner the other day (probably the size of a quarter.) A few times when Leah has ordered out, I've stolen one or two of her mozzarella sticks - which are granted, 95% cheese, but also have some breading, so I don't know if they count as on-or-off plan. I'm trying to walk a delicate line between feeling like I can't ever have nice things, and backsliding. For what it's worth, I'm still keeping extremely low carb with just an occasional foray outside the lines, and I don't feel like I'm at risk right now. But I'm mentioning all of this here because I need to stay accountable to myself and to you guys, and because if my weight loss slows down, I'll know what to cut out first! So that was the rough part, but I'm getting better. I would just say as a caution to any newbies reading this - don't think that just because you're ok eating something one day, you'll still be okay eating it the next! And a smooth start doesn't always guarantee a smooth journey. I mean, I'd say I'm doing GREAT, honestly - I'm a pretty happy camper in spite of this rough patch! But I wouldn't want anybody to feel like a rough patch is the end of the world. Don't catastrophize if you run into problems - just work through them! Preferably, with help from all the amazing veterans we have here literally at our fingertips. Now, the fun part: NSVs!!! There have been SO SO MANY NSVs LATELY! First - I went to the office the other day to say hi to our CEO (which isn't weird; I used to be her assistant, and we came out of it really good friends). She hadn't seen me since the day before my surgery, when I stopped in to tell her what I was doing the next day. She was so wonderful and complimentary, it was great. She hugged me, and demanded a picture, and said I was her hero and a rock star. She's the best!!! It made me feel awesome. I had dressed up and done the whole makeup routine and looked good. Other people at the office were also super complimentary - those who knew about the surgery and those who didn't. I went to an off-campus meeting today and saw another co-worker I haven't seen in months, and she said, "Wow, Kio - whatever you're doing, keep doing it!" Plus, our cleaners were in today for the first time in too long, and they were excited about my new hair cut (and new glasses!) and said I looked great. These days it seems like everybody I see says something really nice! Plus, there's the purely physical stuff. Things FIT - even dresses I bought a little tight last month are now loose on me. I've had to move all my rings to larger fingers; one of them only fits on my index finger now. I can wear necklaces now without feeling like I've put them on around a giant sausage neck. I'm still walking Sadie regularly, always around 1.5-2 miles. And just yesterday I discovered that I can WALK UP THE STAIRS TO OUR DECK. This is an amazing new and strange thing. I admit, I had to hold on to get to the first step because it higher than the others, and I was VERY wobbly on the next 4 steps, but I went up them without holding onto anything! I feel like going up stairs without holding on is something I should be able to do even now, at this weight - but it's been so long since I've been able to, it might take a bit of rehab work or PT to get there. Still, this was a huge victory for me! And that's where I am right now - the State of Kio at the end of Month 3. I'm probably going to update more this month about vitamins and water, since those are my current challenges. And I honestly can't wait to see where I am at the end of month 4, and month 5, and month 6... Assuming I keep losing at a rate of around 15 per month, in 3 months I could be around 210. And THAT would be a number for the record books for me - the last time I was anywhere near 210 I was actually 212, and it was 1995...