like_rain_to_sea

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    63
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About like_rain_to_sea

  • Rank
    Advanced Member

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Bristol, UK

Information

  • Surgeon
    Mr Hewes
  • Hospital
    Southmead
  • Start Weight
    276.5
  • Current Weight
    203
  • Goal Weight
    199
  • Surgery Date
    11/05/2017
  • Surgery Type
    Gastric Bypass

Recent Profile Visitors

784 profile views
  1. Before after

    Those boots are hot! You're looking great!!
  2. 23 week update

    23 weeks and it feels a lot longer than that. Sometimes I can hardly remember my life before I did this wonderful and amazing thing for myself. I've found myself saying to a number of people that besides marrying my husband having weight loss surgery has been the best thing I have ever done. I must admit I have been incredibly lucky. After my surgery I had very little pain and no complications. They gave me a huge box of medication to take for pain and I only dipped into them about twice. There's only been two times where I have suffered from dumping syndrome. Once was when I had some coco powder in my normal morning protein shake which I was able to walk off fairly quickly. The second was an apple and blueberry instant porridge. Felt like a weird thing to dump from and it was pretty horrible. I got sent home from work for that one. But luckily neither of them made me vomit. Fortunately – or maybe unfortunately – I can eat pretty much anything. A real wakeup call about how I am still the one who controls what goes in my mouth. Sadly I am one of those people that feel hungry. But seriously after the pre-op liver shrinking diet I can handle hunger. Most of the time if I get that feeling I do eat something but something small like a little bit of chase. I had a strange phenomenon the past few weeks. Whilst eating I was getting a kind of burning feeling in my throat which I was thinking was hunger so I would eat more. That didn’t help. Sometimes it made it worse. My go to for any bad feeling stomach wise has always been to eat something. But then on Monday morning it struck me that maybe that feeling was fullness! So I really started to pay attention to it. As soon as it started coming on I instantly stopped eating and it was gone. So yup, that’s what it is. Looking back I feel stupid for not realising it earlier but I’m still learning about this new tummy of mine. It’s also brought me back to chewing the heck out of food and putting my cutlery down between bites. Oh how easy it is to forget these simple lessons. Getting through a whole cup of coffee before it goes cold can still be a struggle. But that’s a small thing in the overall picture. I’ve been getting my water in and all my protein with no problems. My program really discourages you from continuing to weigh and measure everything you eat after a certain point. So I have backed off from that but I still check all the labels and keep a running rough estimate of my protein for the day in my head. I only weigh once a month so I am unaware of any real stalls. Some months are slower than others but that’s to be expected. I'm due to weigh again on the first but so far I have lost 73.5 pounds and 29 inches on various parts of my body. Pretty much all the clothing I own is too big for me. I've tried not to spend money on clothes but I was forced to buy some new trousers and bras a few weeks ago. Some of my older clothes from the last time I lost weight (before it went back on) and a lot of those were even too big for me. I’m getting loads of compliments. I try to take these quite humbly. I’m still very worried about weight going back on. A lady at work told me I was like a totally different person. That it was obvious how miserable I was before. I could only agree because she was right. I was a miserable person before I decided to have weight loss surgery. I never really realised how unhappy and sometimes mean I was. I smile more, I laugh more, and I live more. Someone asked me about weight loss surgery the other day. I told her to give it some very careful thought because no two experiences are the same. But that mine has been absolutely great and I love myself for it. <3 Much love to all the people on this forum. I don't post much but I do lurk and read and take your advice. We've got some amazing people and support on this board.
  3. Compulsion

    Hi everyone. Its been a little while since I have posted but I have still been lurking around. I've been doing really well. I have discovered that luckily (maybe unluckily) I have very little trouble with dumping. I'm starting to feel some old habits creeping back in. For instance someone brought some chocolate chip cookies in to work yesterday. I told myself I would take a fourth of a cookie because they have always been a favourite of mine. They were huge cookies and I wasn't sure if they would make me dump. I went back a number of times through the day and had another fourth of a cookie. Today someone brought in some treats from Spain. I really wanted to try them because I never had before. I found myself returning for second and third helping of a custard flan thing that was delicious. The portion sizes were still really small and it was a lot less then I would have eaten before. Our weight loss plan really focuses on eating normally and still being able to enjoy the things we love. But still its worrying. I don't want to slip down that slope of unthinking eating again. Thought I would post here to try and get myself back in the zone.
  4. Do sleeves stretch ?

    I think the pouch size might depend on your surgeon too. I was told by my surgeon that he doesn't feel the need to do an incredibly small pouch and really tight connection. That might be the case for the sleeve too?
  5. Life post RNY

    Yay for being able to go out to eat! That sounds delicious. I get that heavy feeling sometimes if I am eating something really dense. I have noticed if that am eating something like halloumi cheese or steak then it brings on that heavy full feeling much faster then something like chicken. Or it might be a sign of eating too fast? Maybe someone else can be of more help!
  6. Weighed Today

    I'm one of those people that weighs hardly ever. Its been a weird trigger for me in the past and I'd rather avoid that. So I am determined to only weigh myself at appointments and on the first of every month. My total weight loss so far since the start of January is 46.5 pounds (or three stone). 23 of those have been since my surgery on the 11th of May. I have also lost 17.5 inches total from various parts of my body. All in all a pretty good result. I am just happy it is coming off. I still can't eat a lot so my portion sizes remain quite small. It means I am basically eating all protein to make sure I am getting enough in. But drinking all my water in has been no problem so far. Had my first group appointment the other day and that was interesting. We talked a lot about nutrition and our medications and things like that. Pretty good stuff. Feeling very lucky and fortunate that my journey hasn't been as hard as some others, also a little guilty too. But I know its a different journey for everyone.
  7. Fear

    I have to say unfortunately that I am one of those people who has had a Bypass and still gets hungry. My stomach literally growls. I discussed it over with my nurse/psychiatrist and they both said it sounds like genuine hunger as opposed to head hunger. I'm not saying this to sway an opinion and scare you. But it is something that can happen so its best to be prepared with the thought that it might happen to you. I never really considered the band because its not really done here in the UK any more so I can't really say anything about that. I know you've read my blog too so you know I too suffer with the fear of weight gain. I just keep telling myself that I am eating considerably less and much different then I used to. You'll be just fine and this forum will be here to support you the whole way. Keep us updated on what you decide. <3
  8. The Final Indulgence - Cheesecake in the Trash

    I feel like I could have written some of these words myself. I planned to have a big blow out night before my first day on the pre-op diet too. For some reason it didn't really work out that way. I had some pizza but nothing else major. No matter what you decide to do, what road you take, keep that positive focus. Its a lovely thing to read.
  9. Overcoming the Voice

    Sometimes I get worried I am going to do a backward slide. Yes, you know the one. That inevitable thing that always happens after a diet. You know. After you've lost quite a few pounds (the same ones you have lost again and again you're whole life) and they start to creep back on. They make their way back onto your body like the tiny little parasites pounds seem to be. A backslide back into your baggy sweaters and big jeans. I tell myself the situation is different now. And its not a lie, it is different. I mean, I let someone I had met once rearrange my insides. I say it won't happen this time but then some other little voice in my head says, well it won't happen yet, at least not this soon. Its that "well" and that "yet" that are the real problem. I know because every time I have been here I have always gained it back, with friends. And I am scared that it is going to happen again. Yesterday my husband and I went to a friends house. The two of them are amongst the collection of few that know about my weight loss surgery. One of them said they were really starting to tell I had lost weight, they could see it in my face. Later on while the friends were putting their kids to bed my husband and I were sat in the conservatory. He mentioned buying some new clothes and I just kind of rebuffed him but in a kind way. I said something like, lets see how it goes first. Because there's that little voice in my head that says, no point in buying new clothes, you'll just be back in your size 28 trousers in no time. I've tried to take a very relaxed approach to this whole experience. Probably more so then a lot of people. I was never really scared or that nervous before surgery, not until I was actually on the table and I was looking up at the operating lights. But then I guess that's pretty natural because wow. I don't weigh myself very much. About once a month or so. Sometimes I sneak in a cheeky weigh just to make sure it is still coming off. It is. Of course it is. Before the doctors suggested weight loss surgery I was pretty jaded. No, not pretty, I was really jaded. My skin was green. It was a case of been there, done that, got the T-shirt too. I have slammed myself full force into diet after diet. Crazy exercise routine after exercise routine. I was simply exhausted with it all and had given up. I just wanted to be normal. I wanted to eat normal. But my life has always been if I even look at the wrong foods then I gain weight. My weight crept up to 280 pounds which is an all time high for me. I'm quite lucky that my husband is super understanding and has always supported me in every endeavour. I had some friends(?) suggesting Keto and Paleo which are two diets I admittedly never tried. I read about them. But I just couldn't sign myself up to that diet whirlwind again. The thought of facing it all made me feel physically ill. That excitement of the weight coming off, of the compliments you get, and then the side eyes you receive once it starts to creep back on. Because me and my jadedness never felt I could ever succeed at losing weight. I resigned myself to being a fat girl forever. And then my neuro-opthamologist suggested weight loss surgery and I was pretty floored to be honest. I was over weight but not big enough for that, right? One of my Uncles had his stomach stabled when I was a kid. I still remember a lot of my mother's negative comments about it and even now she still says he looks gaunt. I was never as big as he was and that was my only measurement for WLS. I never thought it was for me. Is it going to be a self-fulfilling prophecy? Have I deemed somewhere deep inside that all the weight will go back on so therefore it will? These are the three am thoughts. I spoke the bariatric psychiatrist about this before surgery. About how I feel like having WLS is like failing. You know, because I couldn't do it on my own even thought all it takes is diet and exercise, right? She was pretty cool and really talked things through with me. She says its okay to have these thoughts and I am likely to have them for awhile as my mind and body adjust to things. I know any weight will only come back on if I let it. Because this time I am the one in charge here. I have given my metabolism and my body the middle finger and given myself the best tool possible to overcome obesity. Yet still there is that little cynical me in the back of my brain. The one scales of obsidian and jade that cling to her every limb. Hard eyes and a bitter smile. Really?, she says, you keep telling yourself that. Shut up, old me.
  10. Carrying On

    I haven't updated in awhile. Not because I am having problems or anything. But just because I have been trying to focus in on myself at the moment. Really I can't complain about my journey so far. I feel so lucky and fortunate to be undergoing the changes I am. I've had a very easy transition from purée foods to normal foods. I am eating a bit more now but not the super portions I was eating before WLS. Still only one Wheetabix when I have them for breakfast when I used to have three. Sadly I have felt hungry a few times. But I am not sure if this was a head hunger or a thirst hunger. I am trying to work through that and identify the cause. Lots of meat and cheese to keep the protein up. We are in the middle of a heatwave right now. Temperatures at around 91F which probably doesn't seem that hot to a lot of people but it is really muggy as well. And being England we don't have air conditioning hardly anywhere. I've been practically living in front of a fan. Makes it hard to get exercise in. Have my 6 week check up at the end of the month and am hoping I get cleared for some weight lifting. I have a few exercise dvds that I enjoy that I want to try and work into my routine. I'm still off work at the moment but go back next Monday on a phased return. Should be interesting but I feel like I am ready for it. Got a new water bottle and a bento box. Ready to get to planning in the evening with my meals. Hopefully I can keep it up.
  11. Gretta's Surgery Date

    Todays the day! Good luck Gretta <3
  12. Hip Pain?

    I am having some pain in my left hip. It mainly happens on days after a long walk.I did 2.35 miles today and its really aching whenever I stand tonight. Is this possibly WLS related or something else? It could just be that I am super out of shape!
  13. No Big News. No Big Deal

    Proof of the power of planning. You're going to get those two pounds!
  14. A New Relationship With Food?

    Thank you for your insight Res Ispa and Stephay. I'm really going to take your words forward and do my best to forge new habits.
  15. Favorite Books?

    Gretta, I also love the Time Traveller's Wife and Ready Player One! If anyone likes Fantasy then I highly highly recommend the Mistborn series by Brandon Sanderson. Does anyone have a good read account? Would love to have more friends on there!