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Graham81 added a topic in Marriage and RelationshipsWishing I could go back to the way things were before...2012: 431 pounds
2014: 213 pounds
So yeah...I'm sitting here wishing I could go back to the way I was before the surgery. I'm pretty sure I wasn't happy then, definitely not happy now relationship wise, but I was comfortable. I knew my place, I was fat, and I kept to myself and didnt bother even trying to put myself out there. And I was ok with that, I went to work and came home...rinse/repeat.
But now after the surgery everything has changed. I've been dating and going out, meeting and greeting...things seemed to be good. At least until I got into a semi-serious relationship. But now its over as I ended things with her not long ago.
I met this girl online and we really clicked. We talked for a while online before transitioning to phone calls and texts, then FB, then meeting in person for lunch. Things were really good...they were great. She knew all about my surgery and when things became physical nothing seemed to bother her i.e. some small bits of extra skin. But as the months went by I started to feel severely uncomfortable the more time she spent around me. I had this person in my life, emotionally and physically, and I didnt know how to deal with it. All I wanted to do was have her leave so I could have my place back to myself....my silence, my solitude...I enjoyed (at least I think so) being by myself.
I cant help but think that there is something wrong with me. I hate drama and all I seem to do is cause it now that I'm getting into these relationships...its making me sick. I feel like I'm emotionally retarded sometimes, I'm not using this as an insult to disabled persons, but I feel like I'm lacking in emotional and relationship experience. All I seem to do is hurt people because I cant stand to have them around me for any length of time.
I both do and don't regret having my surgery. My life, at lease physically, is so much better now....but everything else seems to be in ruins or headed that way soon.
I dont want to be alone but I feel like I'm fated to as I cant have people close to me if I know I'm eventually going to get sick of them
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Graham81 added a topic in Personal StoriesFor what its worth, my story so far...So its been ten months since I had the vertical sleeve surgery. My surgery was performed in February 2012 at Celebration Hosptial in Orlando Florida by Dr. Kim, and let me say that I dont think I could of had a more professional (if a little im-personal) doctor.
I had absolutely zero complications with the surgery with the exception of minor ones brought on by myself. A few minutes of naseau in the hospital that night after the surgery and some minor abdominal muscle pain when trying to sleep at home were the length and bredth of my issues (at this very early stage) with this life changing event.
So I'm sitting here in front of my computer in Alice Springs Australia, I work for a major American defense contractor and have been living and working here for seven years, and I thought it might help to put some words to paper. Maybe it will help clear things up for myself as I go through these words...but then again, maybe it will help someone else. Either way I've had these things circling my head for the better part of the year and figured now was as good a time as any to put them out there.
I started this whole process in August of 2011. That was when I started the six months of doctor supervised weight loss...a requirement of my insurance before surgery approval. At my first appointment with my doctor (local doctor here in Australia) I was 431 pounds and I was happy. I had a great job and good friends and and even better family. i would go out and good times were had. But in the end I think my "happiness" was a self induced delusion. At least thats how I look back at it now, especially when I see pictures of myself during that time.
Its now December of 2012 and as of this morning I weigh 228 pounds. We're only a few days from 2013 and I'm still questioning if I will find that happiness again. Because in a sense I feel like I've lost alot of who I was. Not only in a physical sense but also a spiritual/psychological sense (depending on what train of thought you subscribe to). When I think about it, and I have made a point to not do any type of daily tracking on this stuff, I've lost 203 pounds in seventeen months. This is absolutely ridiculous and completely freaks me out. I am literally half the person I was before...so much can be said about this bettering a life and becoming a healthier person and all that jazz. But man....
I look in the mirror every day and I see a face and body that isnt mine. People say so many good things to me and I placate them with false smiles and forced words of thanks. I dont like people talking about me, for good or bad its just a weird quirk of mine. But in the end...I dont feel like myself. I feel like I'm acting more than anything, and this worries me.
I focus on my job, and this helps to keep me distracted. But I still wonder if I will find myself again? That is to say, if the "myself" I knew in the first place was even who I truly was. There are still a few things I want to accomplish and I'm hoping these things will help clear my head and get me back to where I think I should be.
Best of luck to those of you who are contemplating having a weight loss surgery. And if you've had surgery already...well, hopefully you arent as conflicted as I am.
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Graham81 added a topic in Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forums2 Days Post-OpHello all-
I just had my surgery on Feb 10 and wanted to drop a note on the forums so that anyone else having the VSG can get another point of view about the surgery.
I started this whole process back in June of 2011 where I weighed in at 431 pounds. By the time I was ready to come home for my vacation (I live and work in Australia) I was right at 387 pounds. I dropped this weight during the 6 months of supervised diet, which was a requirement from my insurance company. Once I got to my parents home, Deland Florida, I was asked to lose another 10 pounds and be at 377 for my surgery. Right before the surgery I weighed in at 369 so I surpassed the goal weight that the doctors office wanted, I felt good about that.
On Friday, February 10 I arrived at Celebration Florida Hospital at 700am for my surgery. The doctor doing my sleeve was Keith Kim. This is also the same doctor that did the RNY surgery for my mother, she is almost one year post-op and is looking great.
Doctor Kim completed my surgery in roughly 45 mins with no complications. I did have some issues in the recovery room due to the anethesia, I guess I am more like my mom and I realized as she had the same issues....mostly dry-heaving. After surgery I was in a decent amount of pain with only the barest hint of naseau. Most of that naseau stopped around 4am Saturday morning. The rest of the time between then and when I was discharged at around 5pm Saturday evening was spent sipping liquids (around 40oz) and taking pain medication. At least in my case the hospital was giving me liquid tylenol via the IV and it worked ok. I wasnt dopy or drosy and the pain came down to a manageable level.
The pain that I was experiencing was not a internal pain. It was more of a superficial pain that was coming from the muscles in my abdomen. All of my laproscopic incisions are tender but pain free with the exception of one and that is the largest of the 6 b/c that is the one where most of the work was done through. I was aware of this going into the sugery so I knew what to expect, which I was grateful for.
So here I am, Sunday morning about 11 am and I am feeling OK. Its taken me most of the morning to get a bottle of water + liquid vitamins down. I am experiencing the smallest amount of hearburn, but not much. I'm sure the pepcid tablet I amd taking every day will help with this. I think I'm still quite swollen inside as with every sip of liquid I can feel a sort of pressure as the liquid gets down to the top of my stomach. Coughing hurts like hell though let me tell you. And my breathing treatments with the little aspirator I can feel a little tender during those exercises.
But all in all I'm feeling good with just some overall tenderness.
Sorry for the wall of text but hopefully someone else who is just going into the surgery or just came out will be able to read this and get some good information.
And if anyone is in the Orlando area of Florida and is interested in having this surgery, I would HIGHLY encourage you to look up Doctor Keith Kim at Celebration Florida Hospital.
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Graham81 added a topic in Introduce Yourself1 Week Out And A IntroductionHello everyone-
My name is Graham and I am 30 years old. I currently weigh 370 and I am one week out from my surgery (VSG on 2/10/12) and thought I might introduce myself. My mom had her GB surgery last year and she was the one who referred me to the site. I currently live in Alice Springs, Australia and am back home in Florida to visit my family and have the surgery.
I have been overweight all my life, and this is a giant step into hopefully getting my life back on the track that I want it to be on. I started this whole process about 7 months ago and am not right on the edge of the cliff...man am I nervous. I was 431 pounds when I started getting everything in line to go through this process.
I have alway kept to myself so speaking to people I dont really know is a little uncomfortable but I hope to get some good info from thsi site and hopefully meet some decent folks who have gone through this process or are going to go through it soon.
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