nestingdoll

Members
  • Content count

    881
  • Joined

  • Last visited

4 Followers

About nestingdoll

  • Rank
    Senior Member
  • Birthday 12/11/1979

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    LA
  • Interests
    Turtle jogging, anti-limber yoga, mathematics (yeah, I said that),
  • Age
    37

Information

  • Surgeon
    Ganser
  • Hospital
    Renown south meadows
  • Height (ft-in)
    5-07
  • Start Weight
    397
  • Current Weight
    151
  • Goal Weight
    155
  • Surgery Date
    3/19/2012
  • Surgery Type
    Gastric Bypass
  • Surgeon
    Ganser
  • Surgeon
    Surgery weight: 269

Recent Profile Visitors

6,232 profile views
  1. Long story short: WLS, weird medical stuff, compromise on goal weight, and suddenly losing weight again....HOPE LIVES!!! Long-winded version: You know that feeling...the one that you get when you wake up and think, "I feel a couple pounds lighter today?" Then, as if you had suddenly discovered a poisonous ant colony in your briefs, you begin sprinting while shedding every layer of clothing....all the way to the scale. And....you were right!! FINALLY!!! I had to force myself to stop the ensuing spastic happy dance long enough to work out and share my joy with you lovelies. Why the question mark and shock??? I had given up on my original goal weight of 135. It wasn't because I thought I was getting too thin and it wasn't even because everyone on the planet wants me to "pump the breaks" at 150 lbs.... As some of you may know, I struggle with Mollaret's Meningitis, a sneaky form of viral meningitis that lives in you for a mean length of 20-ish years, having recurrent episodes of acute infection and a 50/50 chance of permanent neurological damage that can range from seizures to coma. Scary, right? Well, yes, it's painful and a scary, but it also comes with debilitating light sensitivity, unbearable migraines, and seemingly endless bouts of bedrest. (Because inflammation and aggravation extend my episodes...ugh) You can just imagine what bedrest can do to your weight....especially when it's coupled with medicine that affects my memory (me:Who ate all the bananas?!?!?!? Hubby:"You did, dear.") Now, add in the fact that they essentially have to use neuro medicine to shut down feeling to control pain (so I'm not on huge amounts of fentanyl...no thank you). The result of that is: I no longer know when I'm "full." Nice, right? I had a major compromise process with my docs...I would begin limiting my exercise to no or low impact, and I would bend on my goal weight....agreeing to prioritize my brain health. I'm a math geek---brain function is pretty important in my life. So, I've agreed to allow them to use me as a guinea pig...using new studies to guide their preventative plans. Because of this, I've been placed on some pretty severe preventative measures by my neurologist and infectious disease doctor. To limit stress and inflammation, I am complying with intermittent fasting (so my insulin only spikes once per day) and a ketogenic diet (to minimize brain damage). ALL of these things have really played with my weight. But, I think I may have finally (6 months later) reached a point of homeostasis in my body..... There may, indeed, be hope for my long term goal yet!!!!
  2. My friends, I'm writing this blog to document and warn against a certain dangerous state of mind...It's too late for me. Save yourselves!!!!: There's a place where my mind goes, sometimes.....a place where my narcissistic-ometer is pegged out! I find that the pendulum has swung past the "normal" to an extreme point where I am literally obsessed with the numbers on the scale. Is it low enough? Why haven't I lost more? Why did it go up an ounce? (Or, God forbid, a pound) My mind doesn't go there alone...it takes my mouth with it. And...my mouth drags my darling bald man along for the ride. I've tried to put myself into his combat boots with absolutely no success. I cannot imagine hearing this weight loss yammering for over 15 years. This morning was one of those mornings. I worried aloud to the point that I irritated myself!!!! Ugh! On and on and on....my angry rant HOW can the scale read that when I've been Sooooooo careful, doing everything right. Coloring completely inside the lines?!?!?! This patient man begins going through the "you can't gain pounds overnight unless it's water-weight, did you eat a lot of salt today?" And "honey, you're about to start your period, it's not permanent" and "keep going, have faith, weight fluctuates, stay off the scale and press forward, weigh once a week, etc...." Man, he's been conditioned well!!!!! But, I did NOT want to hear it!!! I wanted to kick and scream and pout and cry and stage a bathroom sit-in until the darn scale admitted that it was wrong and unjustly accused me of gaining POUNDS overnight. LIAR!!!!!! TRAITOR!!! TURNCOAT!!! You were my friend LAST NIGHT!!!!! Instead, I walked behind my glorious bald man and incessantly yammered. I turned in to the WLS psychopath....the lady that just knows that because of this scale reading, she's destined to wake up tomorrow at 400 lbs again. The lady that throws up her hands and says things like (brace yourself for a hissy fit) "it's no use," "I guess I'll just always be fat," "I KNEW I was going to fail at this!" In short, I lost my mind.....momentarily. The horrid things spewing from my mouth snapped me back from the edge. Did I honestly just say "I knew I was going to fail!!"?? Oh, that's hilarious. That doesn't even sound like me....how irritating! What is going on? Have I developed some sort of WLS adolescent alternate personality that is three seconds from storming out of the door, slamming it behind me, then throwing myself on my bed face down until someone comes to calm me?? How utterly irritating!! When the tidal wave of yammering stopped, my glorious bad man turned his head and made eye contact. Me: "what was THAT?" Him: "finished?" Me: "yep" Him: "welcome back" So, I will not be back on the scale until Wednesday-weigh-in day. And, I may begin a "frustration" journal that can be the sole recipient of my narcissistic rages against the vile liar that is the seemingly innocent bathroom scale... you, sir, are no friend of mine!!! (Until Wednesday...when you've had plenty of time to consider your behavior and come to the conclusion that I, in fact, lost some ounces) For the next few days, you can just sit in shame and think about what you've done!!! (I told you it was too late for me)
  3. I will absolutely do that!!! You help me make the list... 1. Jiggle rodeo 2. Kneading your tummy skin like a ball of dough, (while floating on a pool mat) in the hopes that the increase of circulation might make it eat itself
  4. Pictures are amazing and BRAVA!! For losing weight on vacation!! Nice job
  5. Nope...it'll carve itself out...you'll just look up and realize that you've spent the last half hour in the mirror and now you're late for wherever you were going
  6. Hmmmm...then, I'll have to guess "worrying that your double chin will soon look like a V a la Fat Bast*** on Austin Powers" And, I'm dying over the fact that I won't be the only one shaking and counting tonight!!!! So great!!!!!
  7. Oh my GOSH!! HOW could I have left out the Jiggle Rodeo?!?!? My version of this one is to shake hard and count the seconds that it took for it to stop shaking!!!!!! Guesses: You have never done....BMI calculator playtime or naked pix
  8. Oh, we've all been to those wretched team building outings....playing "get to know you" bonding games with the mean girls in the next office or the jocks in the next cubicle. Undoubtedly, you were asked to complete ropes courses blindfolded or lift one of your coworkers using one finger each. (Complete nightmare scenarios!!) But, there's a part of those team-building sessions that simply intrigues me...the part where, by some sort of interactive questioning, you find out How much you have in common with others. Last night, my best friend (that grew up across the country from this army brat) revealed to me that, as a child, she would also stick the Chiquita banana sticker to her forehead, between her eyebrows, where it belongs. I was stunned, thinking that me and my sisters were the only weirdos that fought over that darn sticker, the winner triumphantly strutting out of the grocery store ahead of the tearful runners up. Then it dawned on me.....what if my weirdness isn't actual weirdness. What is my strange behavior is actually widespread. So, friends, let's play a game....be sure to copy and paste your answers, so we can all see how we common our "odd" WLS behavior is: (answer yes or no....and feel free to add your own peculariarities to your answer list) 1. Have you ever stood in the mirror, sideways, and tried like heck to pull your stomach behind you, so you'll see what you eventually look like?? 2. Have you ever sucked in your cheeks and stretched your face toward your ears on both sides, trying to see what your thinner face will look like? 3. Have you ever worried that the loose skin under your chin will someday look like a V? (Mostly because that's what happened to the character Fat B****** on Austin Powers---still can't get that line out of my head) 4. Have you ever played the "Honey, am I her size?" game with your significant other or basically anyone else that will play with you? 5. Have you ever weighed yourself before AND after going #2, to see if it makes you lose a little more that day?? 6. Have you ever tried on a garment of your child or much-smaller spouse just to see if it would zip? 7. Have you ever celebrated because the weight you gave to the DMV to put on your driver's license is no longer a lie?? (Still my favorite NSV) 8. Have you ever played with a BMI calculator to see exactly how many pounds you'd have to lose in order to be considered "underweight" if for only a moment?? (Okay, maybe this one is just me...) 9. Have you ever wanted to buy a plane ticket just because you no longer need the seat belt extensions? 10. Have you ever had people take naked pix of you, just so you could see exactly what you look like from every angle, now? (And then frantically erase them while making the photographer swear to have a spontaneous bout of amnesia) Needless to say, my YES score is 10/10. But, I'm willing to bet that my odd WLS behavior isn't so very different from many of yours. And, for those of you whose WLS oddities have not yet manifested and are currently giggling at the thought of weighing yourself after using the potty, just wait....some day, you'll remember this blog as you stand on a step-stool, manipulating your shrinking tummy in the mirror to see your future self...
  9. Not cold and not heartless...just relieved that the nightmare he created for you was over. No one can blame you for not being willing to rip your heart open again to cry for him. No one else had to live the life you did with him. So glad that you're strong enough to move forward AND strong enough to talk about it. I'm a firm believer that coincidences do not exist....maybe someone in TTF space needed to read that.
  10. Whoa @SweetP!!! So glad you're out of a scary situation. That's awful for him, but fantastic for you.
  11. Likewise, dear Delia!! I was thinking about your work frenemy just a bit ago....why does there always have to be that ONE (and only one is you're lucky). She sounds like a miserable human...one who is afraid your success with unseat her as the reigning workplace weightloss champion. Petty and sad.
  12. 6

    HA @ the puppy tax!!! But thank you. Your coworker sounds like perhaps she may be a "neck-stomper," a category that nay-Sayers evolve into when their may-saying attempts fail. (Also known as saboteurs or jerkfaces in my house). Bravo for standing up for your plan. If she continues with her, "eating blah blah blah won't kill you" tagline, you may want to remind her that you are working under medical advice, not amateur hour. If all else fails, bring your earbuds to work.
  13. I was on a ketogenic lifestyle website the other day and was AMAZED to see that one of their major threads basically pitted a keto lifestyle against WLS. The forum asked for WLS failure stories, and boy did people line up to give them!! In short, the tag line should've read: WLS Success Cases are Unicorns!! That got me thinking: Where is my graduating TT class?? Where did all of the lovelies go?--those faces that kept me going, walking each step with me from Newbie to Century Club? Its been 5 years, but I still remember their names, their posts, their words of encouragement, their uncanny abilities to just know where I was coming from. May I present some of my favorite unicorns: @BugdocMom @michieluvsu @Sakinah1 @SerenieBeanie @technogal63 @Kayla Their posts may be few and far between these days. Their blogs may have grown cold. No, they aren't sitting around posting on sites about the so-called "fairytale" WLS "gimmick," because they're at the gym or running 5k's or sitting on the floor and playing with their kids. They're tying their own shoes and even starting their own outreach programs to feed the hungry (shoutout to @michieluvsu). They're doing this thing called LIVING. I know because I started sending them messages last night, and I found that the unicorn population is VAST but quiet. Some of them I haven't heard from yet, but I'm keeping the faith that they're simply having too much fun to sit down and play catch up. So, worry not, Newbies, unicorns DO exist! Of course, you get their mentoring here in people like @Res Ipsa and @cinwa....but there are many, many more that are behind the scenes. Apparently, we all wander back to TTF at some point, especially when we need to swim in motivation and understanding---or when we need to be smacked back into our programs. Sometimes, the squeaky wheel gets all the focus---but there are other wheels!! Have faith in the process---and earn your own alicorn (that pointy thing that separates the bags from the unicorns). Back story: Before you ask, I am on a ketogenic eating program for life, because of my diagnosis of Mollaret's Meningitis...a rare and recurrent form. Ketones produced from this diet help limit neurological damage and repair damage that already exists due to trauma or illness. I'm a math geek---thinking is necessary for my life. Yes, I had to become adjusted to the fat intake....it was awful but worth it. Please don't try this without your doc watching you like a hawk.
  14. So right about the dryness, Res. I still can't stomach white chicken meat. I caution about the sauce simply because I've never been a consistent "dumper," but I've been thrown into dumping by sauces unexpectedly and repeatedly.
  15. If you can find grilled scallops or grilled shrimp, go for it. I would dare try anything new away from home, though. Quick-tips: 1. Order the protein only a la carte (say grilled, baked, or rotisserie) 2. Say the words "no sauce" 3. Have them bring a box WITH your entree or before it (immediately put 3/4 of your dinner in it to go) 4. Don't eat starches unless you want to see them again really soon 5. Challenge yourself to slow down so much that it takes you longer to eat your few bites than DH to eat his. (Put your fork down between bites) 6. Have the clear broth soup and just drink the broth (or egg drop)...leave the lumps so you don't eat/drink at the same time (if that's one of your surgeon's rules) and HAVE A GREAT TIME!!!! Hold hands instead of holding a fork. I used to order all the food I was craving for my husband, then try not to laugh while he fumbled for words to describe it.