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About Tiwanaku

  • Rank
    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 10/30/1977

Profile Information

  • Gender Female
  • Location Burlington, VT
  • Age 35


  • Surgeon Brian Binetti
  • Hospital Albany Medical Center
  • Height (ft-in) 5-06
  • Start Weight 369
  • Current Weight 177
  • Goal Weight 150
  • Surgery Date 06/27/2012
  • Surgery Type Gastric Bypass

Tiwanaku's Activity

  1. Tiwanaku added a topic in Socialize   

    Day 3 on the 5DPT
    Hello everyone!  I'm posting this a bit later today because it's been such a crazy busy morning in the office!
    Here I am on Day 3 and what a great feeling to be here!  I'm so proud that I made it through the 2 days of liquid!  I thought going into this that day 1 would be the worst, but boy, day 2 really kicked my butt!!!
    By the time last night rolled around, I felt so yucky (run down, tired, upset tummy, etc) that all I could do was sleep it off.  I woke up this morning feeling 100 times better and thought briefly about doing another day of liquid just for kicks, but decided better not.  I have low blood pressure issues that are related to my daily caloric intake, and it didn't seem like a smart idea to tempt fate with more then 2 days at 600 calories.
    So, day 3- woot woot!!!
    This morning I had 6oz of Fage plain nonfat yogurt with 1/2 tbsp of Torani SF caramel syrup- deeelish!
    I didn't think that it would be enough, but I ate it slowly over 15 minutes and then waited 30 minutes before having my coffee.  Yup, it filled me up!
    I packed a hard boiled egg as a morning snack but I really don't think I'm going to need it- another day 3 victory!  I don't know if I've lost weight because I'm boycotting the scale until Monday (the first day after finishing the 5DPT), but I do feel like it's curbed my sugar and carb cravings.
    The rest of the day looks like this:  hard boiled egg for AM snack (probably won't have), 6oz nf cottage cheese for lunch, hard boiled egg (PM snack), 4oz of tuna no mayo (maybe an egg if needed but probably not) and a protein drink for a bedtime snack (because my protein intake is pretty low today and I need the boost).
    Most importantly, the one thing and MOST importantly today, is that I FEEL back in control- and that was the reason for doing this!  Thanks for listening everyone!
    • 1 reply
  2. Tiwanaku added a post in a topic Day 2 on the 5DPT   

    Thank you Cinwa!  How do you interpret that?  Do you think it would be more effective to have the "soft protein" for 3 meals, limiting my portions to the suggested 4-6oz and having 2 protein drinks for snacks?  Or should I have smaller meals of "soft protein" 2-4oz 5 times (to signify 3 small meals, and 2 smaller snacks)?
    My clinic's program for me was always 3 meals no snacking, but this led me to where I got because by the time meal time comes I'm ravenous.  Prior to going on vacation, I was doing quite well with 3 meals and 2-3 small snacks.
    I hate to overthink this because I feel like it should be easier, but I really want to use this opportunity to get back totally on track; otherwise it's been a waste of time.
  3. Tiwanaku added a topic in Socialize   

    Day 2 on the 5DPT
    Good morning everyone!
    I did it, I made it successfully through day one of the 5 day pouch test.  I'm not going to say it was easy, but it wasn't horrible either.  Environment challenges were the most difficult (the office microwave going all day, the family having Chinese take out for dinner, cold beer after working in the yard, etc.), but I'm happy to report that I didn't cave.  Yesterday intake was 600 calories total for the day, 103 grams of protein, and enough liquid to make my kidneys do the back stroke!
    Which means that today is Day 2 and the final day of the liquids stage.  I woke up this morning feeling worn down, sluggish, and very confused (foggy brain I like to call it).  I was so tempted to call out of work sick, but figured it was best to come to work and try to stay busy so that time will pass more quickly.
    I had to resist the urge to weigh myself this morning, but as I said yesterday, I'm trying to take the focus of this experiment off of losing weight- trying to focus on regaining control.  I'm feeling rather bloated today though, so I'm guessing that any would be weight loss hasn't started yet.
    Does anyone know what Day 3 should look like?  I was reading up on the 5DPT website and it looks like tomorrow is "mushy protein" day.  It says to eat no more then 4-6 oz of musy protein (yogurt, cottage cheese, tuna, etc) within a 15 minute period; however, eat as much as you need to throughout the day.  That seems contradicting!  If anyone has thoughts about how tomorrow should go (opinions welcome), please chime in.  I certainly don't want to blow it on day 3 when I reintroduce food!
    • 5 replies
  4. Tiwanaku added a post in a topic Day 1 of the 5DPT   

    It's 10am and overall, it hasn't been terrible this morning.  The hardest part is definitely my environment- darn these women for eating all day!
    I don't think that I have any actual hunger pains; however, I definitely feel sluggish and have nausea- could be the lack of caffeine/food.  However, it is snack time, and time to take my place in the microwave line to cook up my chicken broth- yum yum.
    I was fortunate-I never knew the discomfort of the pre-op liquid diet because my surgeon only had me on liquids the day before surgery.  Again, though, this is only for 2 days... and yet it seems like so long...
  5. Tiwanaku added a topic in Socialize   

    Day 1 of the 5DPT
    I woke up early this morning feeling hungry and obsessing about all of the food that I am NOT going to eat today.  I weighed in at 189.0- officially up 5.4 pounds since last Monday.  Although the next 5 days are not about losing weight, I wanted to have a weight recorded to have a starting point.  The next 5 days are about regaining control and breaking bad habits- THEN it's back to focusing on weight loss.
    I switched back to decaf coffee (if I'm going to do this, I'm going to give it 100%), and now it's a little before 8am and I'm having my breakfast- a protein drink and sugar free jello snack.  I'm in the office all day (UGH!) and my coworkers eat all day long- right now the office smells of bacon, eggs, and waffles.. oh the glories of microwave cooking in an office!
    This morning my goal is to embrace feeling hungry and to determine if it's head hunger or physical hunger.... my environment is definitely not making this easy at the moment.
    • 5 replies
  6. Tiwanaku added a topic in Socialize   

    Follow up to the email I sent to the dietician
    When I wrote my post about being afraid to post my challenges, I had no idea I would receive so much love and support. Thank you to all!

    Since my last post, I received a rather disappointing response from my dietician. In a nut shell, she told me how concerned she is about my consumption of caffeine and alcohol. She went on to say that these are damaging behaviors (duh!) and that I need to seek professional mental help.

    Now, I don't know about all of you, but being told that I'm a failure and need mental help was not the encouragement or support that I needed. Frankly, I have found more support and strength from you all and that to me is disappointing. Enough that I am rethinking my relationship with my Bariatric clinic.

    So what dies this mean for me? Well, I'm stil. Struggling- but it's gotten better. I went on vacation for a week and had a 4 pound gain. Today, I hit my lowest point of feeling helpless and completely out of control- so! I'm taking matters into my own hands. Tomorrow I'm starting the 5 day pouch test to reclaim my life.

    I will post my progress over the next 5 days, but would love to hear of any success stories out there. Have any of you done the 5 day test? How'd it go? Did it get you back on track?
    • 8 replies
  7. Tiwanaku added a topic in Socialize   

    Progress update: one week later from my meltdown
    Things have gotten much better since I posted my epic meltdown last Friday and wanted to check in and share my progress with all of you...  countless thanks to all who have shown support in response to my post, words do not begin to convey how grateful I am for the support I receive here.
    Since my meltdown, I've changed the way I'm eating.  I no longer eat 3 meals a day, but instead, I am eating 3 small meals and 3 smaller snack.  OMG, if I had known what an impact this would make, I would have done it 6 months ago when I began having difficulty.  I am never hungry now and no longer get that "ravenous" feeling when I sit down at meal time.  I feel like I am back in control of food again and not the other way around.
    I'm also 9 days sugar free.  While I realize that I'm not completely sugar free (there's sugar in practically everything!), I haven't had any sugar products (cake, cookies, pudding, ice cream, etc).  I also haven't had any bread/rice/pasta, etc.  This has made a huge difference!
    As for the caffeine and alcohol... it's getting better and is a work in progress.  I have 2 cups of coffee a day and make sure that I drink equal amounts of water to make up for the fluid I'm not drinking.  I do enjoy having occassional alcohol and am trying to limit it to 1-2 times per week and not back to back days.  I am also logging everything into MFP and making sure that even with my indulgence, I am not going over my daily alloted calories.
    I feel like the only missing pieces now are exercise and head hunger.
    I battle daily with head hunger and the bottom line always comes back to will power.  The new eating plan and absence of the sugar cravings has helped significantly, but I suspect I will always struggle with head hunger.... Does this ever get better?
    I'm going on vacation in just a few days and am feeling more confident that I can continue on and finish what I started.  When I return, I hope to get back into a vigorous exercise routing.  I've come so far and don't want to throw in the towel just yet- 15 pounds to go until I hit the 200 pound mark and only 35 pounds to go to hit my goal.
    I'll check back and thanks again to all of you!
    • 1 reply
  8. Tiwanaku added a post in a topic Afraid to post this because of the reactions I may get, but am hoping your support will help me.   

    At Dees-
    I didn't take your words as being harsh at all!  I thank you for your words of encouragement and help.  I woke up this morning realizing what a bad place I've put myself into, and knew that I needed to come here for support, encouragement, and a reality check.  I've decided that one of the worst feelings in the world is to wake up feeling like a surgical failure.  Thank you again for your kindness and support.
    *hugs back at you!
  9. Tiwanaku added a post in a topic Afraid to post this because of the reactions I may get, but am hoping your support will help me.   

    I think more then anything, I needed to confess to my doctor's office and to the world the difficulties I've been having.  I realize that none of us are perfect, and know that I need all of the support I can get.  I also realize think that I have spent the past 2-3 months stuck in this rut and haven't moved forward. I haven't lost weight (although I haven't gained it either).  I'm feeling like I'm in a better place having posted this today- I think I can get back on the horse and finish out the second half of this game (metaphorically speaking, lol).
    I think my biggest obstacle is still the fear that I have destroyed my precious pouch.  Although, by the responses so far, it doesn't seem likely.  I just worry that the volume of food I can consume in one sitting is indicative of stretching the stoma.  After all, I read so many posts here from people who are much further out then me and only eat 1 quarter cup of food at each meal.  My surgeon's office has said that my pouch will hold one cup of chewed food and that I should exceed that.  I haven't been able to figure out how to measure one cup of chewed food, but chances are, based on what I posted, I'm exceeding that!
    I haven't received a response from my dietician
  10. Tiwanaku added a post in a topic Afraid to post this because of the reactions I may get, but am hoping your support will help me.   

    Thank you to everyone who has posted their support together.  I was hesitant to post this today because I've read a few other posts over the years that I've been lurking that grilled the person.  I'm all for tough love, it's just always the answer... thank you again!
    That being said, this truly is and will be a life-long battle for me.  Most days, I don't even feel like I ever had my surgery- like it was all a dream.  I don't want it to be over because I want to lose another 40 pounds or so, and I DEFINITELY don't every want to go back to where I started. 
    So far, my "battle strategies" are as follows:
    1- No more sugar.  I'm more then 24 hours in and haven't had any sugar cravings today.  If they start, I'm going to gather all of my will power to not give in.  Hopefully the further out I go in time without sugar, the better it will get.
    2- No more alcohol.  I had a beer Tuesday after work, but haven't had any since then.  The weekend will be especially hard because I've gotten accustomed to going to Sunday brunch and having mimosas, but I'm going to gather my will power and not give in.
    3- I don't drink with meals (remarkably, one of the few healthy habits that I haven't broken!).  I drink about 70oz of fluid daily, stop drinking 30 minutes prior to eating, don't drink while eating, and wait an hour after eating before I drink again.
    A good friend of mine was sleeved in December and we often compare nutrition plans.  His plan calls for 3 meals a day and 2 snacks (one mid-morning and one in the evening after dinner).  My plan calls for 3 meals a day and a protein drink between lunch and dinner.  Anyways, he presented the thought that perhaps my plan simply isn't working for me, and to give his plan a try.  I'm thinking that I may just give it a try and see if it helps with feeling so hungry when I sit down to eat at every meal. 
    What do you guys think????
  11. Tiwanaku added a topic in Socialize   

    Afraid to post this because of the reactions I may get, but am hoping your support will help me.
    Good morning all.  I've been up all night worried sick that at 10 months out I have stretched out my pouch and ruined this wonderful gift.  I haven't been honest with my surgeon's office over the last three months and everytime I there, I tell them that I'm eating by "text book standards".  Over these last few months, things have gotten out of control, and this morning, I sent an email to my dietician "confessing" to my sins and seeking help.
    I'm posting a copy of my email here for you all to read.  I am holding myself accountable and hope that I find the much needed support here (though I'm worried I will only find criticism).  Please feel free to answer the questions I posed in my email- there must be others out there who have failed at this and been able to recover- thanks in advance to all who try to help.
    Email to dietician:  "I apologize for reaching out to you by email again (and for it being such a lengthy email), but I have some questions/concerns that I don't feel can wait until my next appointment.  I want to put my cards on the table and be completely honest because I'm not always as disciplined as it appears on paper.  Over the last month, I feel like I've been spiraling out of control- my food choices, my portion sizes, etc etc.  I feel like I'm always hungry (I believe we may have touched on this when we last met) and logically I know that it's probably head hunger, but at meal times it takes more and more food to trip the "full trigger."
    Confessions: - I've resumed having caffeine, but limit it to no more then 2 cups per day. - I've resumed having alcohol.  When my family pointed out to me that I was having it daily, I've limited it to once a week. - My sugar intake has been out of control.  I'm now working on being sugar free for 48 hours and hope that after a few more days, I will be off the      vicious sugar merry-go-round because the more I have it, it makes me sick, I want it more. - Late night snacking has been an issue this month.  I am now 2 days without late night snacking.   This is what I ate yesterday, a total of 1415 calories (??).  Although I'm worried about total calories (in parentheses) as I'm sure my calculations are low- this would explain why I'm not losing weight (I own that and know that I am accountable); I'm more freaked out by the portion sizes- why am I able to eat so much???    Beverages: 85      Large Dunkin Donuts coffee w/ whole milk & equal (55) + 1/4c simply smart 1% lowfat milk (30) Breakfast:  306 calories      Yogurt bowl- 6oz plain non-fat chobani (105) + 1 tsp equal (0) + 2.5 oz strawberries (55) + 4 blackberries(8) + 1/4c blueberries (21) + 1/4c      granola (60) + 1/2 tbsp chia seeds (30) + quarter of a golden delicious apple (27) Lunch: 789 calories      1 slice of Braciole (232) + 2/3c or 1c (not sure) mushroom risotto (250) + 1c asparagus and cheese tortellini (307) Dinner: 261 calories      Chicken thigh w/ skin (211) + 2 tbsp balsamic marinade (20) +1c normandy vegetables (30)   Questions: - Is there a way to determine if I have strectched my my pouch/stoma?  - I wake up hungry and find that I am hungry again as soon as 30 minutes after eating my meal- why? - Is it normal for some people to get so far off track?  - Do I eat until I "feel full" or do I measure what a normal portion size is and stop eating once done? - Have you heard of the 5 day pouch test?  Would this help me get back on track?     I am absolutely terrified that I have ruined my pouch and don't want to go back to how I was before I found your office.  Please help me.
    • 61 replies
  12. Tiwanaku added a post in a topic I Love This Forum   

    Welcome and glad you're here!  You will find tons of support from everyone- it's a great group and has kept me going when things are going both good and bad.  Good luck on your journey! 
  13. Tiwanaku added a post in a topic Slowing down and regaining!   

    Congratulations on your amazing weight loss!  I had my surgery on 06/27/12 and am finding myself in the same boat as you!  I track everything on MFP as well- feel free to add me as a friend, my MFP login is Tiwanaku.
    Hang in there and keep up the good fight!
  14. Tiwanaku added a post in a topic 9 months out from surgery and NOW I find out that I'm doing this wrong. I hope you guys can help me!   

    You guys are awesome!! Thanks to all who responded. I'm taking fludrocortisone but haven't seen any benefits yet. In the meantime, I guess all I can do is eat more, move more, and try to stay positive. Ironic though, because the old me would've never gotten so upset about being told to eat more- who knew I would change so much.
  15. Tiwanaku added a topic in Socialize   

    9 months out from surgery and NOW I find out that I'm doing this wrong. I hope you guys can help me!
    So as the title indicates, I will be 9 months out from surgery one week from tomorrow (officially down 119 pounds from the day of surgery).  Over the last 3-4 months I've developed a condition of extreme dizziness and "blacking out."  I've been to every doctory and had every test imagineable- at the end of the day, they think that my blood pressure is taking sudden drops when I have a change in position (sit to stand, lay to sit, etc).  Long story short is that my cardiologist believes that this issue with my blood pressure bottoming out is a result of too few calories being consumed.
    I've argued and argued and argued that I'm getting enough calories but he remains adamant that I'm starving myself.  Up until 3 weeks ago, I had been consuming between 800-1000 calories per day (getting 80+ grams of protein and 120+ oz of fluid).  When he first started pitching his fit about my "malnutrition" I contacted my bariatric center and my nutrionist said that they didn't realize that my daily caloric intake was so low.  They recommended that I bump to 1200 calories a day- that was 2 weeks ago.
    I went for a cardio follow up this morning and I've lost 4 more pounds since I was there and it sent the doc into orbit.  To make this very long story short, the cardiologist contacted the bariatric clinic and spoke to my medical nutritionist and they've all agreed that I must stop losing weight for the time being because of these episodes.  I have to bump up to 1400-1500 calories immediately (3 balanced meals and 2 protein drinks) to slow/stop my weight loss.
    Guys, I'm devastated and upset by this.  I'm 9 months out, the clock is ticking- I don't have much more time in the active weight loss phase to lose weight.  My goal is to get to at least 150- 37 pounds to go.  I'm afraid I'll never get there now!!!
    Has anyone else out there been told to stop losing, you're not eating enough?  Thanks all, and sorry for the length of this post.
    • 14 replies