My Primary Doctor had me in tears today! - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

BlessedTwice · 12-14-2007, 03:45 PM

Hello,

I'm still in the beginning stages of this journey.

I saw my Primary Doctor 3 weeks ago today and he was going to send a referral on to my Surgeons Office. I waited a week and called about the letter since I had talked to the Surgeons Office and they had not sent it. I also got their fax number and gave that to my doctor so he could fax it instead of mailing it. The office is only open three days a week since they have a second location. I never heard anything and so I called 3 times the following week since they said they would get back to me with the status of the referral.

I really did not think it was going to take him this long to send the referral letter. I have been a patient of his for over 15 years. So I called today because when I had called a few days before no one had still got back to me.
My Doctor got on the phone and beratted me for calling about this. He said that I had called his office 10 days in a row, which was untrue. I wrote this down and it was 6 times in 3 weeks. He told me I was being Obsessive and that I needed to seek therapy for that. I told him that I had my paperwork in and that the surgeons office was waiting on his referral. I also tried to explain that they were already scheduling consultation appointments for the end of January and that I wanted to get in as soon as possible. That if I needed to have other tests done that I would have to wait for them too. He just didn't understand or WANT to understand. He told me I was obsessed with this surgery and that a few months would not matter since I didn't get in my "condition" that quick, that I need to wait for him to send it.

He told me that if I called him again within the next 7 days he would not give me a referral at all.

I'm just distraught. I can just see him taking even more time to send this

I want to change Doctors, but I feel I'm stuck until I have my surgery. Has anyone changed doctors midway through this? I imagine he has to also send on all of my records to the surgeon so they have it.

I'm crying as I write this and feel that I'm going to be lucky if I get a consult by March.

My good friend is an audiologist and she said that the Doctors in her office normally have letters out in less than a week.

The bariatric consultant is out of the office until the first of the year, hopfully he will have sent it by then.

Has anyone had this problem before and can you just change Doctors in the middle of this?

Thank you,

Brenda

Cinerbelle · 12-14-2007, 05:06 PM

I changed PCP's right in the middle of my journey. My PCP's office was being very difficult and I figured that the surgery was going to be hard and emotional enough on its own that I didn't need the added stress of such a hostile office. I was THRILLED with my new PCP...she had her staff jump through hoops to get all the testing done that I needed. Below is the link to my mess. Just know that it all turned out fine in the end!! I am now 21 months post op!!!! It will happen for you.

Very Frustrated...Need Advice

Squishy · 12-14-2007, 05:24 PM

Wow... I can't imagine being talked to that way by my doctor. I had to call the psychologist for weeks to get him to send his report after my evaluation. It just wasn't a priority for him, but I was trying to schedule my life.

If you were respectful to them, they should have been respectful to you.

My surgeon pointed out that some doctors don't think that this surgery is necessary in any situation. He said they run into it every once in a while.

Regardless of whether he sends the referral, I think I would seek a new PCP. You are paying for his care... not his lack of caring.

-Mike-

Toony · 12-14-2007, 05:44 PM

Oh Brenda... I feel horrible for you! You don't need that right now - and you DID NOT deserve that! I have this feeling his staff asked him 10 days in a row for the letter, blaming you.... taking the pressure off themselves.... and he blew up at you, rather than them.

I'd be looking for a new PCP letter or no letter now. I would have a hard time looking him in the eye after this!!! I'm not sure where you live, but start asking around for other PCP's... even ask your weight loss team for a recommendation. After surgery you're gonna need a doctor to SUPPORT you, not belittle you.

HUGS for the Tears!!!!

katie

Gina in NY · 12-14-2007, 06:13 PM

The guy's a jerk. Get a new PCP and don't worry about it. Obsession with this surgery would be much better than obsession with food. Don't let anyone get you down. You're doing what you know is best. He can kiss my every shrinking butt - you don't need him. The office didn't do their job so you were reminding them that they are there to SERVE YOU!! His opinion of when you get the surgery doesn't matter - you're the one having the surgery. If you want it soon - who the heck is he to tell you it doesn't matter. I assure you that this man would not have spoken this way to other people. Don't let him intimidate you.

The rest of my comments are not PG so I can't include them.

BlessedTwice · 12-14-2007, 11:18 PM

Thank you all. I read Cinerbelles link. That gives me hope. I looked up two doctors in my bc/bs network. I want to call on Monday for this. I'm going to make a January Appointment. Hopefully he has sent the referral by then. Will I have to start over for another years diet with another PCP or can I just have him send my records to the surgeon and my new PCP? I'm thinking I will need to wait to see my new PCP for the first time after he sends the records over.

Are the Bariatric Consultants really on the PCP to get their needed paperwork to them once the consultation with the surgeon is done?

My Bariatric Consultant is going to be out of the office until at least after Christmas amybe even until the begining of ther year. The office girl said she was on vacation and that she knew she was back on the 20th but that she wasn't sure if she was going to work just a couple days and then come back after the New Year.

So she won't be able to sign me up until the 20th of December at the earliest.
He should have this referral in my then I hope.

I will talk to my B Consultant and see what she says about this ordeal. She may have dealt with it before. The sweet girl in the office answering phones was sweet and was going to have her call me.

So I guess I just have to wait. I just hope I don't have to go through the 12 month supervised diet with a new PCP

Thank you all again,
Brenda

katzz87 · 12-15-2007, 01:14 AM

I'm usually very mild-mannered...but WTF??? I don't let my own hubby of 21 married years talk to me that way...much less a doctor that I PAY to see!! I'd definitely see about a new PCP..can't get much worse, right? I had an endocrinologist that was very knowledgable, but had the bedside manner of a...mannequin. Took me 5 years to see change doctors and boy I am glad I took the step...she's a wonderful, caring doctor and she's made me realize that there are still doctors that care about their patients. I'd do anything she asks of me, because I know that she'd do everything she could to help me. So take the step and found a caring doctor!!

Lots of luck and God bless

VanessaSFL · 12-15-2007, 01:19 AM

Your post made me sad.I would find a new PCP.

Chin up, someone is removing the Dr from your life/ journey for a reason.

That is how I see it anyway.

coptergirl · 12-15-2007, 07:13 AM

Your post made me angry as well. How DARE he disrespect you for being an advocate for your own health and following through with the most important decision of your life??!! You were right on in calling, and he was in the wrong for treating you that way. Definitely find a new PCP. Your medical records are YOUR medical records. They may need to keep the originals on file in their office, but you can call them and ask that they make a copy of every piece of paper in the file so that you can take it with you to your new PCP (I recently moved from Cali to NY, and have all of my med records and even vet records for the dogs and got them with no problem...some I had to pay for, but it is worth it).

You can probably even go so far as to report him and his behavior to your insurance company as well as whatever doctor board oversees him (especially if he is part of a "group").

I am so sorry you have to deal with this especially on top of the normal stresses that come with just making the decision to have the surgery and jumping through the hoops to get to the operating room. Hang in here, love. Like Van said - this could have happened for a reason, and with Cindy - she absolutely loves her new PCP....

LQQkn · 12-16-2007, 10:16 PM

I agree with the others find a new PCP. It's not going to affect the surgery, they can transfer some or most of the tests. You might have to repeat a few but I switched doctors mid stream as well because I had a PCP that was not GBS friendly. There are some who still think it's the easy way out. Janie