Starting a new job/ husband issues - ThinnerTimes

angellamccall · 04-05-2006, 05:11 PM

My goodness i am so stressed out trying to juggle all these appointments and trying to get them all done before April 19th. I start a 2nd job on the 19th so I will be working 8am-5pm and then from 1130pm- 7am. How am ever going to work 2 jobs and get the last few dr visits in?

I have the last of my cardio type visits tomorrow and then on the 10th my last pcp visit. on the 12th my sleep study. on the 14th pshc, testing followed by 1 day long testings on the 18th to have everything in to Surgeon.

I know I can juggle all this and once my surgery is over I will be able to cut back to just the dayshift job but I am so overwhelmed! I have to keep them both for now because my night job is where the Ins coverage for surgery comes from, and the new job is a higher paying, closer to home and much more of my dream job.

To make matters worse my husband who is usually supportive has found something stuck in his butt latley and taken it out on me! I think this journey is going to cause problems between the 2 of us like i never imagined. Has anyone else ever just been so fed up with their spouse like i am feeling right now? I feel like i have put up with his "flaws" for a long time now and am starting to resent him. I am ok with him being the stay at home dad but he wastes so much that we cannot afford to waste! I dont understand how to get through to him anymore and honestly I am getting tired of being so anxious around him and irritated by his excuses to hang out with his friends all the time or excuses to get out of doing anything else he needs to do at home. I already feel like I have to nag for the kids to get the care they need and i honestly am worried that all his yelling is doing some damage to all of us around him.

Is it wrong for me to dream of my life after this surgery? I know it is not a fix-all band-aid. I know that this is just a tool to help shove me to change but is that change going to happen to other things then my body? Will I get some backbone?

One last thing, my sleep study consult is tomorrow... any comments on what i should remember to share with the DR at the sleep lab?

Take care to all and thanks for letting me vent!!

Angella

LisaBoston · 04-05-2006, 06:42 PM

I mean this in the best of ways, but did you ever consider that your husband is feelling like he is being left out with you working all the time? That is a very heavy schedule which doesn't leave a whole lot of time for you or anyone else.

There is NO way you can work like this after surgery. I wish you the best and this is a good place to vent.

coptergirl · 04-05-2006, 07:10 PM

Not really sure what to say except that you will certainly be in my prayers

VanessaSFL · 04-05-2006, 07:15 PM

Please take care of yourself.Two jobs and this surgery will be tough to say the least.

Prayers comming your way~

Van

NewMel06 · 04-05-2006, 07:51 PM

For the sleep study-JUST BE THANKFUL THIS REQUIRES YOU TO SLEEP!!!

As far as the husband thing, you're not alone. We all have those moments with our spouse that we just want to pull our hair out. May be he should try to get a job at night, so that you can work during the day and the two of you can "tag team" it with the kids. I hear you on the insurance coverage. May be let go of the second job that doesn't cover your medical care for now if that is an option. We often take on the world as women and mothers, but if you don't take care of you, how can you take care of your family and how will you have the stamina to go through surgery and then recover. Taht takes a lot out of the body

I really do wish you the best of luck.

angellamccall · 04-05-2006, 10:19 PM

Thanks for sending some new views my way from all of you! I know i am pushing myself to the limit with adding the 2nd job but i am always worried about the financial situation here at home for my family. Again I see this as only until i get my surgery...keep your fingers crossed that i dont have to long of a wait once everything is in to the Surgeon on the 18th~

As far as my husband goes maybe i am neglecting him with all the things that I keep busy with. By the time i am done with work and commuting, whats left of me is for the kids. I will try to relax more with him but i cant help but be frustrated with his inability to hold down a job and the financial burden always being on me. I need the 2 jobs for awhile to help save for my time off work from surgery and any possible co-pays as i have yet to get the final co-pay that i will be responsible for.

On a lighter note i would just like to say that i am inspired by a lot of the personal stories here and get much comfort from hearing anothers triumph with MO. I was wondering if there is anyone else here close or from Oregon?

And bring on the sleep study...YAAA a nite of sleep!!! should i use the sleeping pill they offer? And what about my weird sleep habits like yelling in my sleep,talking,crying or even more personal (farting)?

How embarassing to have someone else hear this....LOL....Is it hard to sleep?
Angella

Gina in NY · 04-06-2006, 01:13 PM

You do know the rate of divorce for WLS patients is much higher than the national average, right? I am not being a doom sayer, just wanted to be sure you know. It is a very difficult period and couples are very vulnerable. Change can be difficult, even when it is positive change.

My husband is out of work and has to do a lot more than he used to as this is my crunch time of year. I basically gave him a choice, get a job you hate and we'll send the baby to a sitter, and hire someone to clean that house, or stay home, do the laundry etc. He's in training for a new job, so I know the time will come that he's bring in money too, but there have been some trying moments. I also had to let go to some "do it my way" ideas of child rearing. Sometimes I get home and the baby is still in her pajamas. Makes me INSANE but I have realized, as long as she has a clean diaper, she's okay, I can't pick. Now if she was out playing by the pool unsupervised, that would be different. Or watching TV all day - I have had to put my foot down about that.

Anyway, it is work when the roles are reversed and you are carrying so much. You also need to take care of yourself pre-op. I understand your need to keep the two jobs, but you get to quit one really soon, right?? I think you're all going to be pushed to the brink with your schedule - the kids too!

NewMel06 · 04-06-2006, 03:37 PM

When I had my sleep study, they didn't want me to take anything to help me sleep. I had a difficult time sleeping. You have electrodes all over your face, scalp on your chest and legs, then a sensor to count how often you stop breathing (hypopneas). It is not comfortable and you feel awkward knowing someone is watching you from another room, and they can hear anything!!! Take a gas X

hahaha
Good luck with everything. I know it is rough. I have four kids and work about 60 - 70 hours a week. My husband and I are often "tag teaming " it. It can put a lot of stress on a marriage. Take care of yourself as often as you can!

Mavisavis · 04-06-2006, 04:58 PM

I made sure I was very tired.....went out the night before and slept only a few hours. I went right to sleep, electrodes and all......and they got 7 hours of study!

MiladyB · 04-06-2006, 06:42 PM

I took the sleeping pill that was offered me for the sleep study and I still couldn't sleep! I dosed enough that they knew I had sleep apnea, which actually thrilled me because it was the one thing that gave me the green light for the surgery.

My insurance wouldn't approve me without at least one co-morbity. I actually had 2 others but they wanted me to be on 3 meds for my high blood pressure (I was on 1) or 3 meds for my Diabetes (I was on 2). Sheeesh....insurance companies! Anyway, I still had to repeat the sleep study with the C-Pap on the whole time in order to know what settings I needed for home. Thankfully, the second time I was able to sleep with the help of a stronger sleeping pill.