Starting to Freak out a little! - ThinnerTimes

Sondra · 09-13-2004, 01:09 PM

Ok everyone I have surgery on the 22 and I am starting today to get a little freaked out. Mostly about leaving my kids here in Missouri and being out there so long with out them. They are 2 and 4 and my 4 year old is starting to have separation problems already, she thinks I am just gonna up and leave and she not know I guess. Then the whole having surgery thing, I am just getting scared!!

I just keep telling myself it is gonna be ok and so worth it in the end. I just worry about developing a clot because I have factor v. Sandi has eased my mind a little but the closer I get the more worried I am getting!!!

Sondra

Christina · 09-13-2004, 01:14 PM

Just so you know your feelings are completely normal. We'd be scared if you weren't a little or a lot freaked out. This is a very serious operation and I can understand your anxiety over leaving your kids too. You'll be fine, it will all work out.. don't worry there sweetie.. you're going to be fine and we'll be here for ya..

triciaknox · 09-13-2004, 01:21 PM

Sondra,

Sit your daughter down (even if she is 4). Tell her how much you love her. Tell her you will not leave her and not come back. And then tell her that you will call her and talk to her as soon as your surgery is over and you can, and every day after that till you get home you will call her. Then after you get out here......CALL her like you tell her you will. That should help reassure her.

Tricia in Escondido

watergirl · 09-13-2004, 03:52 PM

You are not alone in your feelings. I have children, one son age 12 and a daughter age 9. I had been talking to them about this surgery for about 7 months prior. Yours might be too young for such, you'll have to decide. I also wrote my family a letter explaining why I was doing this and what benefits I was looking forward to after surgery. This gave me a lot of peace of mind. I prayed daily.

Is it possible to borrow a lap top with internet access to write daily and have someone read it to them and do the calling while you're away?

You'll do great and be fine, I just know it!

Sondra · 09-13-2004, 03:58 PM

No Access To Lap Top But Once To My Grandmas I Am Sure She Has Internet Or My Aunt Will. I Did Leave My Number On The Frig For My 4 Year Old To Call Me Anytime She Wants. We Went Shopping And They Each Picked Out A New Movie And Some Bubble Bath And Some Other Little Things. I Am Just Letting Them Have Their Way Right Now, I May Regret It Later But I Feel Bad For Leaving Them. I Have Told Her About Me Going And I Will Be Getting Skinny So I Can Ride Bikes And Go Swimming With Her And She Is Excited About That Cause I Have Always Been The One Watching Ya Know. Well Thanks To Everyone For Your Input, Means A Lot. Maybe I Will See Some Of You Soon.

Sondra

Karen Wright · 09-14-2004, 01:44 PM

Sondra,

I am so excited for you!! I know the feelings regarding leaving your little ones. When I got home from the hospital, my 2 year old was mad at me, she cried when daddy left her with me and it broke my heart BUT they are so forgiving and in no time at all, it was as though I was never gone. Letting them have their way for right now shouldn't hurt anyone. Enjoy them and let them enjoy you. Take good care!

sandi · 09-14-2004, 10:45 PM

Sondra sweetie.......
You and I both know what it feels like to have this, we've talked about it on the phone, in email, on here.... we both talked to Dr. Callery, we've both talked to Kelly.... There's not a lot more we can say to each about it, but, I guarantee you, I'm just as close as the phone, you have my home phone number and my cell phone number, I don't care WHAT time of the day or night it is, if you need me to help you through a rough period thinking about this particular thing, or any OTHER thing, I'm here for ya..... If I have to just listen, or give you my shoulder, I can do that, if you need me to be at the hospital during surgery, I can do that too, to be there with Jamie, you got it, whatever you need girl, I'm here.... I know better than anybody what it means to have this disorder that you and I have, and how frightening it is, not knowing how it's going to react in our bodies during and after surgery, but, you also know how TERRIFIC I did, and how GOOD Dr. Callery takes care of ALL of his patients, the precautions he takes against this Factor V acting up, you have to take a step in faith, and just know, that you know, that you know, that everything is going to be OKAY!!!!!
I'm here.... we're ALL here.... reach out... that's what we're for....
Love ya Sondra

Sondra · 09-15-2004, 03:16 PM

THANKS SANDI FOR ALL THE SUPPORT AND TO EVERYONE ELSE ALSO. I JUST WANT TO POST ONE MORE TIME BEFORE HEADING OUT THERE. I WILL BE TAKING FRIDAY OFF TO PACK AND GET THE CAR READY. AS OF NOW MY MOM AND MY KIDS MAY BE COMING WITH ME. WE HAVE HAD ANOTHER FAMILY THING COME UP WITH MY GRANDMA THAT I MAY BE STAYING WITH SO I TOLD MY MOM SHE MIGHT AS WELL COME WITH US SO SHE CAN BE WITH MY GRANDMA IF NEEDED. NOW MOST LIKELY I WILL BE STAYING IN YUCCA VALLEY AFTER SURGERY TILL POST OP. BUT I AM EXCITED THAT MY KIDS WILL BE COMING TOO, I WAS DREADING TELLING THEM BYE. STILL THOUGH PLANS COULD CHANGE AGAIN WE DONT KNOW FOR SURE. JAMIE IS REALLY NOT DEALING WITH IT WELL AS LEAST THAT IS WHAT I AM BLAMING HIS PISSY ATTITUDE ON, HE IS MAD AT ME EVERYTIME I MENTION GOING OUT THERE. DONT GET IT

!

SO ANYWAY THIS IS MOST LIKELY GOING TO BE MY LAST POST BEFORE COMING OUT THERE. WE SHOULD BE THERE MONDAY SO MAYBE I WILL SEE SOME OF YOU AT THE HOSPITAL AFTER SURGERY! THANKS TO EVERYONE.

SONDRA

Christina · 09-15-2004, 03:31 PM

Sondra,

I remember hearing in one of the support groups that even though we are having the surgery, it does effect everyone else, especially the spouces. So just be patient with him, he's dealing with a lot too. It has to be hard on him knowing that something could happen to you (even though it won't) but he has a right to worry about you and be a little cranky too.. besides you'll get him back plenty after surgery and your hormones go haywire.. trust me girlfriend he'll wish he'd been nicer to you..

I can't wait to meet you, you bet your sweet butt that I'll be there to visit you. Too bad Tami couldn't come out too.. you're in great hands.. and maybe you might want to try talking to your husband and see what is really bugging him and what's going on in his mind. He may fear losing you and rasiing your children without you.. men think like that.. and it's completely normal to think that way I think. I don't think he's being selfish or unreasonable.. but of course I am not there either and don't know the full situation. Just hope that everything works out before your surgery..