ladytonya

Wow, all these posts are SO ME! It is amazing how far you have all come in one short year!

I have always had the distorted view of myself, but with me it's been on an even grander scale. I haven't been in the 200's since 8th grade and in the 300's since probably 10 years ago. I am one month out and almost in the 300's! As far as body image, as I got older I always knew I was getting fatter but guess I just never realized how much! I was in marching band in college which is very physical. Our pregame show was six minutes of hell, but I could do it. Now, I watch video tapes and think how did I do that? I went to a game and participated in the alumni band. I started out marching in with the band and had to leave them and just take the short cut to the stadium and wait for them to get there with all the old alumni. I was so embarrassed! I think this was my first realization that I had finally gotten just too fat. Granted, at that point I was over 400 but I just didn't see it! I'm fairly tall at 5' 9" and most people say that I don't look like I weigh as much as I do and I agreed with them for a long, long time. Now, I see how gross I look. I can't even believe I wore a bathing suit for an entire day in public when we have been on cruises. It is just amazing what our minds can do to distort our view of ourselves!

__________________
Tonya
Dr. Roc Bauman, Concord, NC
Surgery date: December 11, 2006
Lap Banded RNY, aka Fobi Pouch
457/447/220/160
highest/surgery/current/goal

http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt...6Dg/weight.png

TT Gym Rat #27

rivercanyon

Ohhh I can't wait until I catch a glimpse of myself and see a normal person. What a glorious day that will be!!!!!

__________________

LisaBoston

So funny this post came up again..its been almost a year since I wrote it. I was talking to staff this morning about me that day in my bathing suit and one of my coworkers said that she always saw me so comfortable with myself and was proud of me for it...that was at 314 pounds.

So what do I see a year later. Well up until recently, I didn't see what everyone else see's in the pictures. I see it now, but in many ways its harder to be this now, than it was to be obese. How do I explain this???? I guess it was easier to give up, to shop in one plus size store for everything, not have to guess what size I was. I always wore 3X pants and 5X tops....no question. Now I wear a 16/18 top and 12 bottom most of the time, but we all know sizes are not the same so I can actually wear 3 different ones depending on the store.

I was MORE comfortable in my bathing suit at 314 pounds than I am at 185. Why is that? I am very happy that I had the surgery, happy about the size of clothes that I wear and happy about my body. I guess I see skin and movement that I didn't see before...I am sure I giggled before, just didn't care enough. I avoided camera's before but am getting used to taking my picture and being in the picture now (taking pics monthly has helped).

Being SO overweight that loosing the first 60-100 pounds was great and people noticed, but now as I approach goal weight and "normal" I see the changes so much more.

So looking in the mirror, I still see the person I was, only a smaller version.

Its still very confusing...maybe one day I will see the reality.

__________________
Lisa
aka....Canadian Bear and her Canadian Bear Cubs!
Open RNY - Jan 30, 2006
Tummy Tuck - June 4, 2007


````````````````````````
Century Club - Sept 12, 2006
Overweight Club - Oct 19, 2006
One-der-land - Nov 8, 2006
Below Goal - Jan 30, 2007 - 1st Anniversary Date!
Holding Below Goal - 2 year surgery anniversary!
Holding at 155 - 3 year surgery anniversary (Jan 09)
Jan 2010 - 4 year anniversary