I have an appt. ...I am scared.... - ThinnerTimes

buttercup74 · 11-02-2005, 03:48 PM

Hey Everyone,
I haven't really been here for a while, my mid-terms are kicking my butt... Ya'll mean bunches to me. I go to see my surgeon on the 16th and I know that he is going to do my surgery cause my port is messed up from my lap band and I have had everything done already (paperwork). The assistant said they want to rush my surgery through because they are not sure how bad my port is. I constantly run a fever and it (port) hurts so bad. I can't sleep on my side and it's always hot. I have been given emergency instructions. just in case. I am usually always so up beat but I will be staright with ya'll..I am scared spitless...the what ifs are taking over and I know that this is the best thing for me.. having wls was a very hard decision and it should have been and now that I had problems those little fears start yankin on the brain...all I can honestly say is I know what needs to be done and I can step up to the plate and handle bizness but I do feel alone. My family has done a 360 on me and are convinced that this problem with this band is somehow my fault. They are so used to me failing at my diets and in life that they think that I have failed at this too...Ya'll are great...Thanks for letting me vent...
Wish me luck on the 16th....The dr.s assistant said they would probably set up my surgery that day asap!
hugs and kisses!

Gladitsme · 11-02-2005, 03:51 PM

Christy,
I'm sorry your family is being that way. Sounds to me like the band failed you. My concern with the lap band was the possibility of infection. Take care of yourself, we're here for ya, and I hope the infection gets taken care of quickly.

Bypassingme619 · 11-02-2005, 04:27 PM

Welcome back Christy. Hang in there sweety. When you are trying to do good someone will always have something negative to say. Remember who this is all about and for. You. My prayers are with you on the 16th. Go in there with a postive mind, use your families negativity as inspiration, prove them wrong.

LisaBoston · 11-02-2005, 10:15 PM

Sorry you had to go through that, and especially not having support of your family...remember we are you extended family and you can come to us at any time and we will be here for you. Take care and let us know how it all goes.

BTW, what do your emergency instructions consist of?

LizardQueen · 11-03-2005, 12:37 AM

Life would be great if you could just choose a family or legal murder the ones who drive you batty! YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!!! You are gonna do just great and we are all here to help you. My family has been dragging me down lately too. Vent, rant, rave, whatever you need to do,but you need to make decisions based on your best interests and let them eat cake! Stay your course! i'm glad things are working out for you so quickly!

buttercup74 · 11-03-2005, 08:17 AM

Ya'll are the best. Thank you so much.
My emergency instructions are if I run a temp of at least 101. and/or severe pain shooting down my side (besides just the regular pain, I reckon!) They said I will know the difference. Red streaks around where my port is and nausea or vomitting..go straight to Vanderbilt which is 40 min. away and call my surgeon immediatly. They gave me his home and pager #. Made me nervous when they told me all of this.
I am not sure what my family's deal is. I know my sisters problem, her life sucks, well to her it does. She has a new baby 5 mos. and the father is 12 yrs older than her, still married to his wife and won't help her at all but he sure will let her pay his truck payment. I don't mean he is still with his wife but he just hasn't got a divorce yet. I don't throw it up in her face. I know how that feels but it seems like she and the other members of my family are looking for a target for there anger and insecurities and like most bullies the fat kid is it. I usually ignore it but this morning I just couldn't. I lost my temper and told them if this is how it will be then stay the hell away from me. My sister got mad and started cussing me. I am 10 years older than she is and have taken care of her since I was 11. I was her babysitter. I
took her outside and held her down and whipped her butt. I just snapped. I told her if she was gonna act 5 then I would treat her like she was. She said she is calling the cops on me????? This is not something I need right now but I am not sorry I did it!!! My Daddy keeps calling my cell but I won't answer, I don't want to say something to him that I will regret. My sister lives with my parents as does my brother. I'll probably be disowned after today. I am at school right now. My Mom watches my 3 year old while I am at school so I probably won't have a sitter either!!! I really need to quit having this little pity party and tell them all to bite me! I've been on my own since I was 17 and I haven't needed them since I was 15. I worked bought my own clothes. Fat clothes were too expensive! Bought my own cars, paid ins.,stayed on the A honor roll.Went to college, always on tthe deans list,published poetry and working on a few short stories about insecure children!!What the hell have they done? Now I am Mad!!!! I am sick and tired of being a doormat! Forgive and Forget ain't working too well today. Thank Ya'll for letting me get this out.
Love Ya'll

Gladitsme · 11-03-2005, 09:56 AM

Christy,

Sounds really stressful for you right now. We're here for you! Glad you smacked your snotty sister.

Icing · 11-03-2005, 11:16 AM

Seems like to me that wanted you to fail so they could blame you once again......and I bet you they were all against you going through this, am I right? Mine too they dont want me to have it , cant say all cause most of them are happy for me....Out of 17 children maybe 4 disagrees..Yap , I said 17 .My mother and dad had 6 sets of twins and 5 singles....Just hang in there hon, things will look up..I know by experience I was denied and denied over and over and most here gave me support to hang in there and I'm glad I did...Not only to prove it myself but to all the ones who disappoved....I showed them I wasnt a push over and when my heart is set on something..it usually happens....and with God's help and having ppl like you and others supporting me I will succeed....and I know you will too.....God Bless

LizardQueen · 11-04-2005, 07:52 AM

Girl, I wish i knew the answer to this one, but the best I can come up with is that family are the people that are put on this planet to drive you insane. Family will say the most hurtful things they would never say to someone else and they know exactly what t osay to get your blood boiling. Make your stand and they will come around!