How to come to terms with this difficult decision - ThinnerTimes

Dyann · 09-29-2005, 07:34 AM

Hi all...I am new here and looking for a little advice. I am an itelligent person who understands the risks of being overweight vs. the risks of the surgery. NO problem. I am committed to making this decision and changing my life. But every now and then the face of my two beautiful boys (age 2 and 3) are in my head and the thought of death due to this surgery and them growing up without me and not even remembering me brings me to tears.

Everyone can say the usual things "when it is your time" or "Its in Gods hands", but that doesn't remove the heartache of it all.
I commonly ask "When did you go from asking yourself did you do the right thing to I know I did the right thing?" Everyone always says when they woke up in the recovery room. But still I can't find peace with the (small but real) possibility of me not being in my kids life.

Wonderful words of insight are welcome by moms who faced this!!!!

eyesthatkissu · 09-29-2005, 07:45 AM

I also have two boys.... as sweet as can be... for me, I decided to do this FOR them. Granted, the risk of dying during any surgery is very real. But I also knew, at the rate I was going first of all, I might not make it to their graduation day. Second, I know in my heart, overweight, I'm just not the best mom I can be. Granted, all the love and caring and kindness are always there, but not the physicality, not the running around outside with them, riding bikes, going to the beach. Things like that. And lastly, was when my youngest was made fun of in kindergarten. About his big mommy. Nope... not going to happen to my kids. Life is difficult enough, growing up is painful enough, without me adding to their burdens because I can't control something. I'm taking more risk now, to have less risk later on in life. It works for me, and I'm completely sure of my decision. Also, only YOU know what's right for you. And 99% of people, even those with complications say they wouldn't hesitate to do it again. It changes your life, and therefore, also the lives of your children. Good luck on deciding what's right for you!

ScootRider · 09-29-2005, 08:01 AM

I have kids too and it was a very difficult decision for me. You are doing the right thing by asking these questions. I did. And yes, there is a risk as with all surgeries. Just make sure you have a very reputable doctor who has successfully performed this procedure many times over...like hundreds of times. Demand the best. It is your body.

That's the single most important factor in my opinion....choice of surgeon. Don't worry about bedside manner either. My doctor was very cold and professional....but he knew what he was doing (and I knew it after checking him out).

Good Luck with your decision!

bridgetgirl · 09-29-2005, 09:52 AM

I have 2 lil guys and I dod it for them as well.

Do your homework on your surgeon, make sure he has done at leat 200 cases-no exceptions (unless your Dr Potts)
Also, when you have surgery its not the surgeon that kills you, its usually complications due to anesthesia, trust me!
Also, its up to you-after surgery do not ignore your symptoms and do not allow yourself to be ignored by any physician. Sure for a couple of weeks you can be uncomfortable, but not in pain.
What is your weight, height and age right now?

Vertigo · 09-29-2005, 10:07 AM

I'm with ScootRider -- I've got a 3 year old and I'd hate to leave her behind and her not remember me very much. But I know that if I don't do this, she won't have very much of a daddy, if one at all.

I take greater risks driving to work every day than I will on the 10th when I have my surgery.

Dustbuni · 09-29-2005, 11:14 AM

This is my second time around at the process of GPS. The first time I chickened out and decided to take a dif route with SRS Medically Supervised Weight Management program because of the simple fact that my daughter raised a major concern for me should I not make it thru the surgery. I think it's a very common fear for everyone. This IS major surgery and we have to wt all the facts and do our homework to feel we are making the right decision. I agree with the other comments - keep asking questions and find out all you can about GBS/selecting a surgeon. I wish I had gone thru with it the first time around and at this point I feel very confident that going thru with this is the very best choice for me AND my family. I feel this is not only taking the wt off but also it's making me a better person health wise (heart, joints, pain and energy) and improving my self esteem in the process. Carrying this wt around is starting to take it's toll on me and the fear of not being here for them increases daily so I feel this is a prayer answered to be able to have this surgery. The best of luck to you ... I will keep you in my prayers.

Dyann · 09-30-2005, 07:26 AM

Thank you all for opening up your hearts to me and my fears. The funny part is....I am a surgeon...I don't do bariatrics for the reasons stated...If you can't do it regularly with a large patient base, you shouldn't be doing it at all since the complications with the first 100-150 is multifold higher than with more experienced hands. The good part is I am well aware of the complications...the bad part is...I am well aware of the complications!!!
But I am a stay at home mom right now, devoting myself to these kids. It is time for me to take a little more care now so they can have more later. Being an MD does not take away any of the "normal" fears. I think Reassurance is the best thing for me to overcome this hurdle and go into it with a clear mind.
Thanks again

Dyann

HAMPTON5555 · 09-30-2005, 07:47 AM

When I had laser eye correction, my optomestrist told me he is too scared to have it done!!!

You are in good company!!

Like any one else, we all must come to this scary choice on our own. I have 3 kids and my daughter just about gave me the silent treatment when I decided to do it. It was hard for her, she said, "to see me in pain, again" The again is because of so many back and hip injuries caused by my obesity, she has seen me in alot of pain, but I assured her that this was to reduce those other complications. She only forgave me after she saw me home and fine.

Now, she is happiest for me!! But, as you know there is no guarentees!!

Good Luck,
Rain