What do I tell my boss? - ThinnerTimes

2cats&adog · 09-17-2005, 08:53 PM

I may be jumping ahead of myself, because I've just started this process, (I went to the initial seminar two nights ago)...I have yet to get an approval letter from my PCP or meet with a surgeon, but I will be doing all of that soon. My biggest issue right now is trying to decide what and how to tell my employer once the surgery is scheduled.

I'm not comfortable telling him that I'm going to have gastric bypass surgery, and I'm not all that sure that he would allow me to take that much time off of work to have it done. I was thinking about coming up with another type of surgery to tell him I'm having - like some kind of abdominal or intestinal procedure, or maybe even a "female" operation.

Has anyone had any problems telling their boss about their surgery, or does anyone know a good way for me to do this?

Jennifer Miller · 09-17-2005, 09:33 PM

Gee..
Don't tell him anything.. as for a job.. how important can that be compared to your decision to change your life.
Oh the other hand.. you don't know what he'll say.. he could turn into an advocate.
So if I had to do it. I would be up front. Tell him the details with a letter from your doctor. In California we have disability insurance from the state. I am sure this surgery qualifies for benefits. Check into it.
Maybe do a little work on finding him a good temp to fill in for you. Call a couple of Temp Employment agencys and get the details. That way you will offer him a solution instead of a problem. He might look at you in a new light.
He could see this as a benefit for him. He is gaining a healthy worker. One that will be able to do a better job for him.
Please tell us how you make out.
Jenni.
San Diego.

veroniquetalk · 09-18-2005, 06:43 AM

I was told from my plastic surgery doctor that I didn't have to give any reason for having surgery - it was the law. I took his word for it. He wrote a letter saying I would be having a surgical procedure (not what it was) and that I would need 2-4 weeks off from work. I gave it to my boss and said I needed to have a surgical procedure and that was all I did. Had my boss asked I was prepared to say it was a personal medical decision I had made and didn't feel comfortable discussing it.

eyesthatkissu · 09-18-2005, 08:48 AM

I'm pretty sure you don't have to tell him what you are having done. Just tell him you are having surgery and it requires this much time off. If he presses the issue, tell him it's a private matter, but not to worry, you are doing nothing to yourself to look like Michael Jackson. Really, if you don't want to tell, you don't have to.

LisaBoston · 09-18-2005, 11:10 AM

I too struggle with this, when I find out for sure I am having the surgery. I work as a manager of an aquatic centre, thus small, skinny staff in bathing suits all the time. Only one person in our whole facility that is slightly overweight, except me who has over 150 lbs to loose. We are very close knit, yet I am scared that they won't understand, but I really think when they work with me after the surgery, they will be supportive. So, I am going to tell them I am having surgery done and when I come back to work, I am going to tell them all at a staff meeting so that they understand and that they can create a supportive environment for me. I think that they will be more understanding and accepting AFTER I have it done than before...they will try and talk me out of it, tell me to eat less, exercise more etc....They don't understand that I have been dealing with this for many, many years. I have made up my mind on the surgery and looking forward to a future where I can put myself first.

onell · 09-22-2005, 09:23 PM

I was also very nervous to tell my boss and to ask for that amount of time off. I agonized over it for weeks. I work with a small team of people and one person missing will cause a lot of work for the remaining staff. I didn't tell him about the surgery untill I was sure it was going to occur. Surprise, Surprise, not only was he ok but he was very supportive. He made me feel so good that I said I would wait if the timing would not be good for work. He told me to have the surgery and take of myself. I am very fortunate to have such a wonderful boss.

Barbarajo · 09-23-2005, 07:10 AM

Me personally I would tell a boss that I was having stomach surgery and that you really dont' want to get into it. Or that you don't really understand that is going to be going on. Both may be true.

sdgrrl · 09-23-2005, 07:20 AM

A little law called HIPAA went into effect and it is nobody's bidness what you have done. In fact, it is against the law for him to ask or require knowledge of what you are doing. I like the idea of just telling him that you have made a personal medical decision that will require surgery. If they were smart they'd be able to figure it out, but you are protected from having to tell to get the time off. If you get hassled, just look the boss in the eye and say "HIPAA." That should make him turn white, with his ears down and his tail between his legs. Then when he signs your off work slip, scratch him behind the ears and tell him "good boy..." (sarcasm there)

Jennifer Miller · 09-23-2005, 09:59 AM

Congats..
Being honest in life has gotten me soooo much.
Good luck with your surgery.. Maybe a thank you card with a Starbuck'ss gift card $5 might give him a idea just how much his support means.
When My surgery is over.. I will tell my story.
Jenni

Kristen · 09-23-2005, 12:52 PM

Hi,

Congrats on looking into something that is to make yourself healthier. I completely understand your anxiety. I had a sales manager, a regional and a District that I had to tell. I knew my local boss would be supportive he always was however I was worried about my Regional boss and District. Guess what when they found out what my surgery was for they were two of the most supportive guys in the entire world. They both called me weekly during recovery to see how I was doing, never once worrying me with anything at work, just checking in calls. After my surgery these two were two of the most supportive people ever. I had no idea how they would react and they totally surprised me. I never thought Sales Managers with budgets and deadlines would worry about me. I was wrong they became two of my biggest cheer leaders and still are.

If I could suggest anything just prepare as much as possible by keeping your boss aware of whats going on and what needs to be done while you are gone. If anything they will appreciate you even more.

The decision to tell anyone what your surgery is for is yours and yours alone. The law protects you from any kind of discrimination including a company or boss not allowing you to take the needed time off. This isn't an optional sugery. This is something to make your standard of living and health so much better.

thinking good thoughts for you,

Kristen