Oh, Gosh...Just remembered this - ThinnerTimes

Pokey757 · 08-08-2005, 11:36 AM

I need to do something just in case something bad happens to me(in surgery), I need to make sure my son is taken care of.
He is not my hubbys son, and does not want to live with the sperm donar, so what or can i do? Any thoughts?

feliciaespinoza · 08-08-2005, 11:50 AM

Well this is what I did I did a Living Will which was recommended by Dr. Potts to me since I am not married and I gave the original to the hospital when I checked in so they could put it in my file a Living Will is something that dictates what you would like to have done in case anything goes wrong and medical decisions need to be made you tell them what you want or you can designate a person or people to make the best decision for you like your parents or parent anyone close to you this way the doctors do not make the decisions for you and in there I just added in a clause that stated that if anything were to happen to me and I was incapacited I would like my daughter to be cared for by her grandparents my mom and her husband and his mom until her father could care for her in your case if you have living parents or a brother or sister who would be willing to take responsiblity for you child that would work also. I can check to see if I still have the form and I could e-mail it to you its a very simple form to fill out PM me your e-mail address and I will locate the form and send it to you and if you have any questions I can help ya. Hope this helps I know that filling that out and knowing the hospital had my wishes on paper made me go into surgery alot more comfortable. I was not too worried to being with I knew everything would be ok.

Pokey757 · 08-08-2005, 01:32 PM

Well i hope to have him stay with my hubby. He is the only responsible one that i trust. But i dont know if it would work or not because hubby has not adopted him, or anything like that. So i dont know if that would work.

LizardQueen · 08-08-2005, 02:11 PM

I would suggest you contact an attorney and see what your options are. You're having surgery pretty soon and I'm not sure what all that would entail. Let us know what you find out!

feliciaespinoza · 08-08-2005, 02:19 PM

If you have legal custody of your son or you are the sole parent I think you mentioned the whole egg thing even if you dont have any assets and you want to do a short will as to your son only and who gets custody of him or what care he will be left in you could write a will on a napkin its doesnt matter what it is written on as long as it is in your own writting and in my opinion have it notarized you can pull up a simple form as to the wording if your son is the only thing you are concerned about but if you have other assets then see an attorney for a full blown will but if you do not have something in writting as to your son and there is no father in the picture the state will step in and take custoday of him but if you do have a simple will as to his custody if something shall arise then he will remain in the custody of your husband otherwise he will become an award of the court but he will at least be in the custody of your husband and then your husband will have to get an attorney to start the adoption process but right now and the date your surgery is scheduled for there is no way he could adopt him that fast.
I do have a little knowledge in this since I am a Paralegal but its entirely up to you and how you handle this matter. Good Luck.

Pokey757 · 08-08-2005, 03:14 PM

Here is the deal. I have sole custody, bio-dad (the father) gets visitation (barely) and pays child support.
My son would rather live with his Step-Father then bio-dad. But Step -father has not adopted him, for 1 becuz bio dad would not even agree.
As far as anything else it all goes to my husband (not that i have anything) but the house, car, etc.
I am only concerned that my 11 year old son would be able to stay preferably with step-father. Or someone else in my family. But NOT bio-dad. Plus he does not want to live with him anyway. Would he have some sort of say so in it? I definatly dont want him going to state custody!!

maqaria1 · 08-08-2005, 04:05 PM

Felicia........Would you mind to share with me that address, I have my surgery schedule for August 23rd. and I also am a single mother and would like to leave everything specify in case that something goes wrong.....Thank you!!!!

feliciaespinoza · 08-09-2005, 05:44 PM

Hey Danette well I think since the Bio father is somewhat envolved you should really find an attorney for a free consult to at least ask some questions this would be Colorado Law and well their laws may be a little different then California but in California if anything happened to you the Bio father would definately have custody of your son especially if he put up a stink about it so it would be better safe then sorry to at least consult an attorney to have your options on the table for you. Sorry I couldnt be of more help to you. Good luck!