Request from a husband - ThinnerTimes

happiness101 · 04-26-2008, 08:25 PM

My husband has asked that I post a request for a list of things he can do to help me through the first few weeks (or longer) after surgery. He's mainly concerned about how I'll be feeling emotionally. Any suggestions I can pass on to him from those who have been there?

katzz87 · 04-26-2008, 10:05 PM

Everyone is so different. I did not experience the emotional upheaval that some do. I just didn't feel like cooking the first week. So my hubby took it upon himself to make sure the kids were taken care of. But other than that...it's been smooth sailing.

Sounds like you have a great support system in your hubby!

MiladyB · 04-26-2008, 10:18 PM

For me there was about a week that I would cry at the drop of a hat. Sometimes I didn't even know what set it off. Just prepare your hubby for the possibility that you may be pretty emotional and to just let you cry. My poor hubby just kept trying to make things better and all I would do is cry even more. *L* I just kept letting him know it wasn't him, that nothing was really wrong but I just felt the need to cry.

Also my hubby just pretty much took over the food prep, helping kids with homework and kept the house in some kind of order. It was really nice not to have to worry about anyone but myself. Another thing my hubby did that I really appreciated is he took a week off from his job to be with me. He even would go out on my little walks with me which I really appreciated because that first week I felt pretty wiped out and I was a little worried about wandering too far from home and getting too tired to get back. *L* I did do that on more than one occasion and hubby would come looking for me. *L*

Nyn · 04-27-2008, 03:14 PM

I'm not married, but I did stay with my mom and stepdad during my recovery. I found that just having someone there was sooooo important. My mom in particular was really great with letting me talk and talk about all my thoughts/feelings/going over and over about my "new life" and food details and how I felt and on and on. She also went on my little walks with me which helped me get in that habit. She walked as slow as I did and gave me lots of encouragement. She also took a few days off work when I was first post-op. I had a lot of pain in those first days so she was great about doing little things for me like laundry so I didn't have to lift stuff, but also letting me get up and walk around to get my own water so I didn't just sit. My family also felt awkward about eating "real food" around me, and that was a bit hard and strange, but it's something we have to get used to, so just be prepared for that awkwardness. You will be able to eat fairly normally again someday so remember it's not forever, but the first few months are key to getting into good food habits. It sounds like your hubby will be a great support for you so feel lucky about that, and then when you're feeling better maybe you can do something really nice for him!

Debz · 04-29-2008, 06:13 AM

My daughter was with her Dad when I had my surgery...she didn't come back until I was 3 and a half weeks out...so it was nice to not have kid responsibilities. You might ask your husband to take over the kid stuff for a week or so.

I found it really hard to watch my hunny eat real food as I was sucking down mush. He ate in the kitchen so that it wasn't right in my face. I was extremely emotinaly for the firsr couple of weeks...and he was quite understanding. Let your hubby know that it's quite possible that you'll be all over the map, and that it's not about him.

The other thing that was a really big issue for me was sleep. I found it so hard to stay asleep as I was in pain. You might want to set up house on your couch so that you're not disturbed while slumbering.

boomer · 05-21-2008, 07:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by happiness101

My husband has asked that I post a request for a list of things he can do to help me through the first few weeks (or longer) after surgery. He's mainly concerned about how I'll be feeling emotionally. Any suggestions I can pass on to him from those who have been there?

Wow! What a great question....I will make note for my own dh. He will certainly want to know...Thanks.

Brooke

'thann · 05-21-2008, 09:33 AM

I felt so fantastic my first day home that I think my husband figured that I was fine to do everything like I used to. I'd wash a load of dishes, and be so tired I could barely stand up. He didn't understand that one second I was raring to go, and the next I'd be falling over -- not from pain, but from weariness.

So I recommend that he understand that you've just undergone major surgery, and that although you might look and feel fine, you're NOT. You need 6 weeks (or more) to recover.

How sweet your husband is to ask these questions!

'thann

sherry7 · 05-26-2008, 09:31 PM

I wish my husband would ask me these questions. Oh wait...I'll just print this out and give it to him, and hope he takes it to heart.

You're a very lucky woman to have such a considerate, caring husband. Good luck with your surgery.