Strange Feelings - have you felt like this? - ThinnerTimes

bezobraz · 03-28-2008, 11:38 AM

I have being reading this forum for months now, but it is really my first post.

I am about to get my surgery date, which should be some time in May. And I though I would be ecstatic, a happy Panda. In reality I got all confused, even sad. I have being eating pretty healthy since I joined the program and all over sudden I found myself wanting to eat pint of ice cream. I feel like I will never be able to eat it again, so I want it now ... for last time. And I find myself wanting to eat big portions of food for the same reason. Essentially I am sabotaging all my efforts to loose weight before surgery. And my doctor is insisting that I loose certain amount of weight.

Another thing that surprised me is that I feel that everyone will disapprove of me going through the surgery and even dislike me for that. I feel that general public opinion is that you should lose weight “normally” (what ever that means). And surgery is some kind of easy way out. Generally I couldn’t care less what people think. I don’t know what is wrong with me and I am a little annoyed with myself.

Have any one felt the same way?

Thanks,
Tonya

JumboJulie · 03-28-2008, 01:02 PM

I had my surgery only 3 weeks ago and I wish I could just have one more shot at the buffet! Although I don't feel like I'm starving, or even particularly hungry, I still think about shoving food down my throat like I used to. Of course I physically can't, but it's like a security blanket, or comfort, or something that is just plain tough to 'get over'. Trust me, you're not the only one!
If I had to do it over, I would have enjoyed pizza, pasta, and breads more before surgery (I cannot touch this stuff now). And I sure do miss it. I know I will be able to enjoy these foods again in small amounts months from now ... but it's still tough.

But there is some comfort ...
I absolutely LOVE eating refried beans with melted cheese, green sauce and sour cream. It's the yummiest thing ever! Also drinking V8 juice is so satisfying to me. Even plain fat-free cottage cheese is a treat. Solids don't sit well with me yet ... but I am really enjoying the foods that I can eat.

As far as this being "the easy way out" ... that's simply a load of crap. There is nothing easy about this whole process. There is nothing easy about having major surgery. There is nothing easy about the recovery period from this surgery. There is nothing easy about having to work so hard at getting your daily protein in. Nor is it easy to have a water bottle glued to your hand 24/7 and not being able to gulp it down no matter how thirsty you are. Nope. And there's nothing easy about giving up your free will to eat as you choose and enjoy.
I must say here that I would do the surgery again in an instant. It's been only 3 weeks for me and I have already lost 30 POUNDS!! And the most amazing thing is that I am NO LONGER DIABETIC!!! WOOHOO!!!! It was either have the surgery or go on insulin. I chose the surgery ... I chose to live. And not pizza, or a cheeseburger or even movie theater popcorn is gonna get in my way ANYMORE!!!

Cat_Lover · 03-28-2008, 05:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bezobraz

I have being reading this forum for months now, but it is really my first post.

I am about to get my surgery date, which should be some time in May. And I though I would be ecstatic, a happy Panda. In reality I got all confused, even sad. I have being eating pretty healthy since I joined the program and all over sudden I found myself wanting to eat pint of ice cream. I feel like I will never be able to eat it again, so I want it now ... for last time. And I find myself wanting to eat big portions of food for the same reason. Essentially I am sabotaging all my efforts to loose weight before surgery. And my doctor is insisting that I loose certain amount of weight.

Another thing that surprised me is that I feel that everyone will disapprove of me going through the surgery and even dislike me for that. I feel that general public opinion is that you should lose weight “normally” (what ever that means). And surgery is some kind of easy way out. Generally I couldn’t care less what people think. I don’t know what is wrong with me and I am a little annoyed with myself.

Have any one felt the same way?

Thanks,
Tonya

Welome to the TT family,

Sound pretty normal to me. WLS easy way out ------ NO. The thouhts about food-----------this is the last time to eat ice cream junk food, ect. So normal. Start thinking about food as fuel, fuel for your body. Not good or bad, just fuel. What wrong with you------------you may be nervous, so very normal.

Just eat health, drink alots of water and work-out.

Phoenixfire · 03-28-2008, 08:33 PM

From what you write it sounds as though you would benefit from one tool I used: therapy.

Your reality post-op will be that something else, something you have no control over, will be CONTROLLING your food. What food IS to you will be gone. Be it a friend, a comfort, a lover, a companion, a drug, etc. It will no longer be what you had. You will be controlled by your pouch. That is why the doctors are pushing you to control yourself now. Of course if you could do it, then you wouldn't even be thinking of WLS right (I say this because I couldn't do it without having the surgery, so please don't take offense if this sounds harsh okay?)

Yes, people will think you "took the easy way out" and to that I say BULLSHIT.
There's nothing easy about losing control over eating what you want when you want.
There's nothing easy about reaching a stage where food is a pain in the ass and you hate to eat.
There's nothing easy about saying no when you want to say yes.
There's nothing easy about the whole thing.
BUT
BUT
You change. ONLY IF YOU OBEY YOUR POUCH

You're normal, I've felt that way before and after surgery. It's only been in the last year or so that I don't get mad that I can't eat french fries. Silly? Nope. But I can either eat them and suffer, or I can obey and succeed.

I suggest trying a few things before surgery, just to see how badly you need this "external control" over your food intake and diet. It will probably help you in the end: you'll be in love with your pouch instead of hating it for controlling you. I've seen that in others, and it's the difference between success and failure after WLS....

splendifor · 03-28-2008, 09:46 PM

It kind of freaked me out too this overwhelming compulsion to do it (eat fill-in-the-blank) just ONE MORE time.. then ONE MORE.. then c'mon just ONE MORE...

:P there is no end to the one more's for me.. one thing that has helped more than I thought it would is to drink a whole lot more water (read: crystal light fruit punch flavor) because I read somewhere that we often misinterpret thirst for hunger... that has helped although I can't tell you why

my "almost going to have surgery" anxiety has been drug out over a couple of months (I started working on this in September of last year thinking I would have the surgery before the holidays...) so now the things I think I just have to have just one more time before it's over... don't taste NEARLY as good as the fantasy I have about eating them.. that's happening often enough to slow down that urge.. although I still am (irrationally) puzzled over this overwhelming drive to do the very things that would keep me from having the surgery successfully... or prepare me well enough for it.. or whatever else..

glad to hear this is all normall to btw

Phoenixfire · 03-29-2008, 09:11 AM

Came back to read posts today and realized I left something out of my prior.

It took me 2 years of research before surgery, seeing one doc and then finding another, etc. You know the drill.

During that time, my research said to do one thing: begin to STOP WHEN YOU ARE FULL.

Hehe, that was revolutionary. I had no idea what stopping when full felt like. So I did it, more and more. I lost 40 lbs. This was before the day of surgeons saying "lose weight before I operate." I was afraid he'd say I wasn't fat enough for surgery!

Point is, we all go through different pig out desires before we have something that will "rob" us of that freedom very soon. I guess I was so terrified of screwing it all up (it was my LAST hope for medical reasons) that I put that tool in place: stopping when full. It was interesting, and gave me a sense of self-control. (Not to say I did it perfectly, but I learned the CONCEPT of stopping when full).

just another two cents on the subject

Funny how the memories of those stages come back. I'm not the same person, so it's like talking about someone else...

bezobraz · 04-04-2008, 06:51 AM

Thank you for your responses! I feel much better now. My portions are back to normal smaller ones. And frankly, I'm surprised I am able to do it. I felt out of control with my food for so long, it feels great to be able to stop and control it (even if it is not quiet full control).

Now I am trying to come up with the strategy for post-op cravings. Instead of running for food, I need to do something else. Note - I already have too much make up and dangerous amount of shoes

kellyMASS · 04-04-2008, 07:37 AM

I have been coming to this site for a while now and I have seen this question 50 times.It is soooo normal to feel this way.My surgery keeps getting postponed and I am eating like my nutritionist says to and loosing weight,yet I still know that I need to have this surgery.It is a tool to help overcome the food addiction which is what I have.I still sometimes think to myself that I am taking the easy way out.But for me its the only way out.I know that you will do fine and there is tons of support here so use it!!!!