2nd thoughts HELP please!!!! - ThinnerTimes

size22nomore · 01-27-2008, 04:04 PM

I am the type of person who hates secrets and so I think everyone should be involved in my business --I am so wrong.. I have found I get the worst reactions when I tell people I am getting gastric bypass. I have had so many people say just diet and work harder you will be fine or you don't need to do that but in reality I know I do.. I am 5'7 260lbs I hold the weight really well but my health is effected now...
Anyway my mothers most trusted friend found out today at church and she came to me saying that she wishes I would not. That these bad eating habits will still be there and how she wishes I would not do this. She added a friend of hers died of Gastric bypass and I have two babies to raise.. I have the most respect for this women (very thin women I might add) She raised 3 kids all Doctors and doing well now---I tried to explain myself but found myself for once only this once questioning my decision... So much so that I am worried.. Am I scared just because my surgery is this Thur Jan 31??? I need a little insight.. I did not question it ever until now why now.. Help..

chiquita · 01-27-2008, 05:30 PM

Hi There.
Well, your mom's friend is right. You could diet, and work really hard and loose the weight. All of us could loose/could of loose the weight that way. But how many times will you diet and loose some just to see yourself gain it again and then some?? You know how I got to be 400lbs? Exactly that way.
Yes, there is the risk of death, I was very affraid of death, I have two young kids with autism that really need me. I had to decide what is best for them. A mom who is so heavy she can't move and do much more with them anymore, and I might die anyways?? or give them and me the opportunity of living once more, because I felt I had died already.
I chose life, risk and all. And yes, people, good meaning people will come and warn you and try to talk you out of it, but I warranty you most this people have never walked in your shoes. Bottom line, only YOU can make this decition for yourself, and take your own health and family and kids facts into consideration. And whatever your decition is at the end, you need to be happy with it.
I can't say to you do or don't, I can just tell you that I too was in your shoes (and I bet you many here have been there) and I chosed to go ahead with it, and I am not a bit sorry I did. I have lost 40 since November, around 15-20 since the surgery, and I can tell you I have so much energy, I feel I did the right thing, and I will never look at a piece of chocolate peanut butter pie the same way lol, I saw it on TV just now, and I was glad to see nothing but lbs on that plate, and glad they would not be going on my hips

Best of luck.

size22nomore · 01-27-2008, 05:48 PM

Thank you thank you thank you!! You don't know how much I appreciate your words!! I am still going forward full speed ahead.. Love Judy

Blueyz · 01-27-2008, 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by size22nomore

I am the type of person who hates secrets and so I think everyone should be involved in my business --I am so wrong.. I have found I get the worst reactions when I tell people I am getting gastric bypass. I have had so many people say just diet and work harder you will be fine or you don't need to do that but in reality I know I do.. I am 5'7 260lbs I hold the weight really well but my health is effected now...
Anyway my mothers most trusted friend found out today at church and she came to me saying that she wishes I would not. That these bad eating habits will still be there and how she wishes I would not do this. She added a friend of hers died of Gastric bypass and I have two babies to raise.. I have the most respect for this women (very thin women I might add) She raised 3 kids all Doctors and doing well now---I tried to explain myself but found myself for once only this once questioning my decision... So much so that I am worried.. Am I scared just because my surgery is this Thur Jan 31??? I need a little insight.. I did not question it ever until now why now.. Help..

I can tell you that many people told me the same thing. I didn't listen to them because I knew that I tried EVERYTHING already and I worked really hard dieting, etc, etc. I knew that it was MY decision only and I wasn't going to let anyone tell me otherwise. If you know that this is right for you, go for it. It will change your life. I can say with all of the complications I have had, I wouldn't change a thing. I would do it tomorrow in a heart beat again if I had to.

Best wishes to you. If you know it is right, go for it. We got your back.

kellyMASS · 01-27-2008, 07:25 PM

Hi

I have been feeling the same way.I am having such a hard time preparing for surgery.I havent told my family except my husband.I have not been doing the right thing on the pre op diet even tho my dr said all I have to do is lose 20 pounds and I am ready to go.I feel like a complete failure for not being able to lose the weight on my own.But today I went out and bought all the food I need to lose the weight and prepare.And I am ready.NOBODY can tell you what to do and I will tell you I have a 15 month old baby that means everything to me and I am doing this for her. You need to do this for your children.You will get through this and be better for it.Just remember you are not alone.

lward76 · 01-28-2008, 04:29 AM

I agree if you feel this surgery is right for you then go for it!! But,,!!! There can be complications that you should be aware of!!! I wont get into that!! But, yes this surgery does good for so many people!! I was just reversed at glad because it was not right for me!!! MY stomach is still small so it is up to me to keep the weight off which i willl be working my ass off to do because i feel like i have been through hell and back!! Im still very sore as I just had it done!!! But, please beaware and do your research!! And if you have questions then please ask!! Good luck to you!!!

crzymom04 · 01-28-2008, 09:26 AM

There is risk, but you have to do your research, and I also think the closer you get to your surgery date the more anxiety you get, I have four children under the age of 9 and one with CP, and so I am a little worried also, but I have my faith in god and personally I am more worried if I stay this weight.
Good luck you will do great.

Godsblessedme · 01-28-2008, 12:28 PM

I agree with everything thats been said. I didnt care what people thought to be honest, they say " oh your not that big" or " you just need to stop putting that stuff in your mouth. " duh! but they cant make me thin nor do anything for me when i am so fat i cant walk; Your doing this for YOU and your children! Not for them

livnlife · 01-28-2008, 05:47 PM

I understand where you are coming from...I have two weeks until surgery. I think it is very normal to question yourself, especially as you get closer. I think I have asked my husband three times in the last week if he still thinks I am making a good decision or not. I have two little girls and my biggest fear is leaving them without a mom. But....I know I have done the research and made a fully educated and sound decision. I have gotten some odd responses too. One co-worker said, "well if that is what you need to feel good about yourself then that is what you need to do". I know she meant it to be supportive, but I was taken back thinking to myself, it has nothing to do with who I am. I like myself very much. I find that those who have not walked in our shoes have very limited understanding, but I have used this opportunity to educate others and hopefully create a better understanding of what people suffering with obesity go through daily. I am sure you have looked into this surgery thoroughly. I keep reminding myself that I can always pull out. When I give myself that freedom of thought I almost always end up feeling more confident with my decision.
Best Wishes to you!!! Depend on those who support you!!!!

MiladyB · 01-28-2008, 06:10 PM

As others have said it is very normal to question your decision the closer you get to surgery. I too had the fears and the questions but deep down I also knew that I was doing what was right for ME! I know it is probably not natural for you, at least it wasn't for me, to put myself and my feelings first. For so much of my life I have let other people's feelings and thoughts dictate how I ran my life, how I thought and felt, what decisions I made....look where it got me....all the way to 359 pounds.

You do have to be prepared and know that this will change your life. Complications DO happen. Some people don't do well after the surgery and on rare occasions some people have died. It's fact, things can and do happen but it is also fact that people who are MO have an increased risk of health issues that will put their life at risk every day. For me it really was an easy choice, I was looking at an early death with the co-morbidities that I had, that was pretty much certain....surgery was my only chance. I knew I couldn't do it without it. I had tried many times only to fail...I dieted my way all the way up to 359 and heading much higher.

Do what is right for you! You are the only one living your life and you have to make your own decisions.