Emotional Roller Coaster - ThinnerTimes

Groovey kinda Love · 03-25-2005, 05:59 PM

Well time is getting closer and I can feel it! I try not to dwell on the what if's but it is really kind of hard. I have seen things on tv lately to really make a person think. I know I am doing the right thing and in my heart I know my health can't take much more. We went to a funeral today and I kept thinking that could be me, then I realized no matter what I do in life, no matter where I go or what I do, when God calls me home weather it is from a plan accident, car wreck, or surgery I know that I am doing what I have to do. I start to thinking..... I have children I want to see raised and grand children I want to help raise, and with out this surgery I might not be here to do that. None of us are promised tomorrow.... none of us are promised anything but to live and die, and we have to chose to be a survivor. I am scared out of my wits, I know that in a couple short weeks I am going to be in surgery and I am afraid. I have a wonderful husband who loves me and my kids with everything within him, my children are wonderful, I have a wonderful church family and I have a wonderful relationship with my Lord..... BUT I can't help but to think about the what ifs! am I alone on this? do others feel the same way? have you all gone through this? have I lost my mind???? I haven't had second thoughts I am just down right terrified!!!

eyesthatkissu · 03-25-2005, 07:02 PM

I think everyone here has been terrified at one time or another. Take comfort in Him..... know that He has a PERFECT plan for you. It may not make sense to us, but He knows what He is doing. I worry all the time, if this is the right decision. Then I get winded playing with my kids, have a terrible bout of GERD, or can't fit in my seat at the movies, and realize, this is what I need to do.... for me.... AND for my family..... you are never alone dollface..... *hugs*

Blueyz · 03-25-2005, 07:16 PM

Suzeq~

I thought the same thing....it is totally normal and you will be fine. I found that when I was feeling nervous and I emailed my friends, I felt more at ease. You can email me any time and I will be there. Try to keep yourself busy and you will be ok. Hang in there, you are almost on the other side.

Meaghan · 03-25-2005, 09:06 PM

Yes... I'm getting a little nervous - especially with regards to Terri Lynn(not sure if that's her name) in Orange County...I keep thinking -"okay I've met all these wonderful people that are thriving and I'm going to be that 1 in 200".

On the other hand I'm excited about getting some of this weight off!

JohnsWife4Life · 03-25-2005, 09:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Suezq

Well time is getting closer and I can feel it! I try not to dwell on the what if's but it is really kind of hard. I have seen things on tv lately to really make a person think. I know I am doing the right thing and in my heart I know my health can't take much more. We went to a funeral today and I kept thinking that could be me, then I realized no matter what I do in life, no matter where I go or what I do, when God calls me home weather it is from a plan accident, car wreck, or surgery I know that I am doing what I have to do. I start to thinking..... I have children I want to see raised and grand children I want to help raise, and with out this surgery I might not be here to do that. None of us are promised tomorrow.... none of us are promised anything but to live and die, and we have to chose to be a survivor. I am scared out of my wits, I know that in a couple short weeks I am going to be in surgery and I am afraid. I have a wonderful husband who loves me and my kids with everything within him, my children are wonderful, I have a wonderful church family and I have a wonderful relationship with my Lord..... BUT I can't help but to think about the what ifs! am I alone on this? do others feel the same way? have you all gone through this? have I lost my mind???? I haven't had second thoughts I am just down right terrified!!!

You are not alone in this for sure. I felt the same way. I figured well, if God called me home on the table would be better than my son walking in and finding me dead on the floor, it was all in his will, and if it was the time for me, I would be home safe in the glory of Him. Either way I was going to have a new life, because I couldn't live in that one not another year! When I was so terrified and The Lord gave me that peace, I still wasn't sure if I was just trying to project his will or my own. But in the end he won out. My husband made love to me in my hospital bed just prior to the betadine scrub shower. I never had time to think about anything but those poor nurses that had to have me as their patient. I know what it is like to have a 246 pound patient. I had two last night, total care, and it is hard. The team was fast and really it just was only a matter of a few minutes. Your body kind of goes into auto mode, then its over. I have this statement many times, but I will say it myself. The only thing I regret about this surgery is that I didn't do it sooner. And that my husband and I are growing apart. But I believe in the Lord and his work, he will bring me to the place I am supposed to be.

You are young and beautiful and have a whole new life waiting for you. I think it is so awesome. I was thin with my first three kids, and I regret so much that my 12 year old didn't have the life of an energetic mother as the first three. Mark walked beside me trying to carry me for many years. Probably four, and for sure the two years prior to my surgery my then 9 year old had a burden to bear for his mother. We were all terrified that he would find me that way, that is how I came to be in San Diego in a motorhome. I was too ill, so my faith in God and Dr. Callery saved my life.

My prayers for you in a sweet recovery.

Hugs,

Traci

Janet · 03-25-2005, 09:51 PM

If anyone tells you they did not get scared and/or have seconds thoughts, they are not being honest with you or themselves. It is only natural to worry that you will be the one in 200. You have to (excuse the pun) weight the options. Not do the surgery on a what if or know that your life will be shorter and less fullfilling if you do not have the surgery.

No one can answer any of these questions and concerns for you. For me, it was knowing that I could no longer live my life the way it was and was taking the odds in my favor for a fuller happier life.

I am so very glad I made that decision.

JohnsWife4Life · 03-25-2005, 10:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Meaghan

Yes... I'm getting a little nervous - especially with regards to Terri Lynn(not sure if that's her name) in Orange County...I keep thinking -"okay I've met all these wonderful people that are thriving and I'm going to be that 1 in 200".

On the other hand I'm excited about getting some of this weight off!

Meaghan, you are getting close, it will be here before you know it. Hugs, and prayers are for you. WE all thought about that one in 200, thank God only one can be one in 200. Does that make sense? I drove myself crazy trying to figure out the average time span between deaths, I had it calculated that it was just about around the time of my surgery. You are young and vibrant, and found out about this procedure early. Braveheart.

Hugs,

Traci

JohnsWife4Life · 03-25-2005, 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Suezq

Well time is getting closer and I can feel it! I try not to dwell on the what if's but it is really kind of hard. I have seen things on tv lately to really make a person think. I know I am doing the right thing and in my heart I know my health can't take much more. We went to a funeral today and I kept thinking that could be me, then I realized no matter what I do in life, no matter where I go or what I do, when God calls me home weather it is from a plan accident, car wreck, or surgery I know that I am doing what I have to do. I start to thinking..... I have children I want to see raised and grand children I want to help raise, and with out this surgery I might not be here to do that. None of us are promised tomorrow.... none of us are promised anything but to live and die, and we have to chose to be a survivor. I am scared out of my wits, I know that in a couple short weeks I am going to be in surgery and I am afraid. I have a wonderful husband who loves me and my kids with everything within him, my children are wonderful, I have a wonderful church family and I have a wonderful relationship with my Lord..... BUT I can't help but to think about the what ifs! am I alone on this? do others feel the same way? have you all gone through this? have I lost my mind???? I haven't had second thoughts I am just down right terrified!!!

You are not alone in this for sure. I felt the same way. I figured well, if God called me home on the table would be better than my son walking in and finding me dead on the floor, it was all in his will, and if it was the time for me, I would be home safe in the glory of Him. Either way I was going to have a new life, because I couldn't live in that one not another year! When I was so terrified and The Lord gave me that peace, I still wasn't sure if I was just trying to project his will or my own. But in the end he won out. My husband made love to me in my hospital bed just prior to the betadine scrub shower. I never had time to think about anything but those poor nurses that had to have me as their patient. I know what it is like to have a 246 pound patient. I had two last night, total care, and it is hard. The team was fast and really it just was only a matter of a few minutes. Your body kind of goes into auto mode, then its over. I have this statement many times, but I will say it myself. The only thing I regret about this surgery is that I didn't do it sooner. And that my husband and I are growing apart. But I believe in the Lord and his work, he will bring me to the place I am supposed to be.

You are young and beautiful and have a whole new life waiting for you. I think it is so awesome. I was thin with my first three kids, and I regret so much that my 12 year old didn't have the life of an energetic mother as the first three. Mark walked beside me trying to carry me for many years. Probably four, and for sure the two years prior to my surgery my then 9 year old had a burden to bear for his mother. We were all terrified that he would find me that way, that is how I came to be in San Diego in a motorhome. I was too ill, so my faith in God and Dr. Callery saved my life.

My prayers for you in a sweet recovery.

Hugs,

Traci

Groovey kinda Love · 03-26-2005, 07:43 AM

I have read all your stories and advice... I have even shed a few tears. Thanks for all your prayers and thoughts. "I do know whom I have believed in and I am purseded that he is able to meat that which I have committed unto him against that day" I never thought about it but you all are right, My God is able to see me through any trial and If He choses to call me home on the table it is better than my family finding me on the floor some where. I have a life to live and I can tell you He didn't intend for me to worry about tomorrow or the next day, but to live each day to it's fullest.... thanks everyone I love you guys, your the greatest!

Meaghan · 03-26-2005, 10:53 PM

Thanks Traci - and I hope you are doing alright too... you are in my thoughts and prayers too.