I'm Freaking Out - ThinnerTimes

xocats · 03-19-2005, 03:02 AM

My surgery is scheduled for next Wed.

Tonight, I cannot get to sleep.
Its 2AM and I am about to decide to cancel my surgery.

I keep thinking that, if I can handle taking all of the supplements, exercise, food & water...I should be able to get it together & lose the extra 90lbs I'm carrying---on my own, without the risk of surgery.

These really strong feelings are unexpected. I don't know what to do. I have until Monday morning to decide. That is my full pre-op date. If I decide not to do it, I need to let the Dr. know early Mon morning.

NurseO5, is having a very difficult time right now. When I read her plea for prayers...I felt so bad for her, I re-read all of her posts, to get a feeling of her WLS journey. What she is going through has scared me to death. I know that there can be complications with any surgery but reading her plea for help...made that possibility real.

I know that I am the only one who can decide if I should go forward with the surgery. Family members & friends are no help. I need to hear from people who are going through this process.

I'm confused, sleepless and Freaking Out!

VanessaSFL · 03-19-2005, 06:21 AM

Lei,I had to think of the risks of both.Surgery or living life with type 2 diab,wearing a cpap(sleep Apenea),hypertension.The answer was black and white for myself.
I am worried,four days ago I sat down wrote my husband,son and my parents a letter just incase something happened.I ripped them up yesterday and today I feel calm.I can sleep...thanks to the cpap

I am 48 hours out and plan to enjoy my family,walk the dog,look for Aligators in our backyard(its warmer now and they have come out)and enjoy the awesome warm sunny weekend.
I know you will do whats best for you.Take Care..besides think of all the cute clothes we will be in next year.

Love and Prayers,
Vanessa

Lynne38 · 03-19-2005, 06:35 AM

Hi,
I am 4 weeks post-op and I think I also got anxious before my surgery. I had my doubts, but I thought about the end result and went through with the surgery. Like any surgery there are risks of complications. It has been actually easier for me than I thought it would be. I was ready to go back to work after 2 weeks (but I didn't). I have so much energy and the weight is coming off for good. This is just my experience and you should weigh out your options before making your final decision. I am a new member here and I found the support unbelievable!

Groovey kinda Love · 03-19-2005, 07:17 AM

Lei, I know what you are saying.... my pre-op is in a few short weeks and I know the risks, but I can't let myself dwell on them.... you have to decide to be a survivor! don't read all these posts and let yourself think the worse, everyone is different! Every surgery is different! have you ever had surgery before? When I had my hysterectomy, I had a total and was cut open for it.... I was released early because I was doing so well, where others didn't do as well, I know they are two different surgeries but what I am saying is just because one didn't go as well doesn't meen your won't. I feel bad for those who don't do as well, and yes I could have troubles with mine too.... but you know it is like others has said, The medical conditions out weigh the slow death of morbid obesidy. Sleep apnea, diabetes, acid reflux, weak bladder the list goes on and on, and if you have ever been fit before you will know that you was alive and healthy and could do anything and now what is it that slows you down and forces you to face your humanness (<----is that a word?) everyday, you are forced to make decissions upon your ability to live, strive and make it through. You know the risks, don't tourcher yourself with the down side of things, you need to weigh your opptions...... are you slowy dieing due to the fact of being morbidly obesed? Do you want to live to see your Great Grand Babies? Do you want to beable to enjoy that summer vacation with out being the wet towel on the parade because your back and knees can't take no more? these are things I have asked myself and more. Girl, we are with you in this.... but you are right, you do have to be the one who decides.

triciaknox · 03-19-2005, 07:43 AM

Lei,

I am 5 and 1/2 months out. I researched this like the dickens, because I needed help with my weight and because I have a little problem with surgery. I tend to die while under anesthesia. I researched, then I talked to my primary care doctor, then to the doctor who did the surgery. I was scared all the way up to 4 days before the surgery. I wrote a letter to my son for just in case (he was in boot camp and didn't even know I was scheduled for the surgery). I made out a living will and a regular will. Four days before surgery I had a feeling of calm and peace settle over me that stayed with me up through the surgery. I had no problems with surgery and none after, probably in part because they knew I had problems with anesthesia and kept a very close eye on me.

I am down 100 pounds now and at a plateau. Even if I never lose another pound this surgery was worth it. I am now in control of my life and my eating habits. While you have to make the decision if the surgery is for you or not, no one else should make that decision for you, let me tell you that the complications can happen in ANY surgery, but they are not that common usually! Good luck with your decision

watergirl · 03-19-2005, 09:02 AM

You are right, you are the only one that make this decision. You must feel comfortable with your doctors ability, I hope you can find comfort there. If not there, with your higher power.

I wish you clarity and peace in your decision. I know I freaked out too just before. Three days prior to my surgery, I found peace with my God and gave it up to him. I had researched Dr. Callery and knew of his record, I had confidence in his ability - this gave me peace.

I did write the letters to my family too. I explained how miserable I was with this weight and how depressed this made me and how this reached to every aspect of my hermit life. I wish I could adequately express to you how wonderful life is right now for me because of this surgery. I'm not saying this to change your mind, because that is not my intent. My intent is to tell you that I could totally stop loosing weight right now being 87 pounds down. All my seven co-morbidities are gone. I'm a part of the living.

Is this right for you, I can't answer that question. I do wish you peace and clarity in your decision. I wish you all the best!

Groovey kinda Love · 03-19-2005, 09:09 AM

Kim you are right, not to mention you gave me the goosebumps while reading your post.

xocats · 03-19-2005, 09:09 AM

Thanks to all of you wonderful WLS buddys who responded to my "Freak Out" with your wisdom. Without you and your support I know that I could not even attempt to go through this process.

I got a little sleep early this morning. Dexter...my catbaby & his sister Sadie, woke me up at 6AM. They wanted their morning food & love. I love...loving my furbabies. That is a reason to have this surgery.

My youngest Granddaughter is in Paris for spring break. I want to live to see her babies when that time comes. That is a reason to have this surgery.

I want to feel calm about the surgery. Your posts are very important to me. They have helped me put my negative thoughts on the back burner.

One of my daughers & my oldest Granddaughter are coming from AZ to be with me for the week following my surgery.

At this point...I am on the surgery train & I'm not getting off.

Much love & Hugs...

Groovey kinda Love · 03-19-2005, 09:16 AM

Thats more like it.... you are in my prayers and know this, you can always talk to us!

Esouza · 03-19-2005, 09:18 AM

I had all the obesity related dieases and almost died. I was in the ICU for 6 days when a doctor approached me about WLS. Even after going through all that I was still terrified just before surgery. For me the surgery was the only oprion I had at that point. My quality of life had hit bottom. You would think I have jumped at the chance of having surgery. Like Kim I also wish you clarity and peace of mind making your decision. Most of all take care of yourself these weeks before the surgery. Relax and try to get as much rest as possible. Try not to dwell on the issue to much and talk with trusted friends and family members.

Take care,

Ed