Brutal Honesty from the Bear - Page 3 - ThinnerTimes

Squishy · 07-15-2008, 06:46 AM

Excellent post, Jeff! I think we all need to be reminded that the "choices" remain our responsibility after the surgery.

I love the beach analogy too. In my case, I think I have chosen to follow the "new" version of myself, but I occasionally sprint across the beach to check on the old me then scurry back. I don't know why. Fear I suppose.

There is comfort and safety (or at least the illusion of safety) in the old me. I knew what to expect. I knew where he was going and where he was definitely not going.

The new me is a little scary. I am not sure where he is going. I suppose though, that the new me is still following the old me's moral compass so I know he won't lead me places that I really do not want to go.

So... I think I'll go for a walk on the beach with the new Mrs Squishy.

Thanks again Jeff... you really made me think.

-Mike-

Auntie Foo · 07-19-2008, 12:00 PM

A lot of wisdom in this post... thank you! It's something I'm certain I needed to read 9 days before the surgeon's skillful hands create the last 'NewMe'.

I have a closet FULL of never-worn clothes bought by all the former NewMes in my life. There's a size 7 black leather skirt bought at the flea market in Florence, Italy in 1985 by the very first NewMe. Truly, she is my favorite NewMe of all. So hopeful, so adventurous. She spent her senior year in college abroad and, after initially gaining weight on croissants and french food, diligently walked the capitals of Europe and dropped to 150 pounds. As an incentive, she bought the leather skirt 2 sizes smaller than her then-current weight to wear upon her return to the US. Wasn't she chic? She bought many things to wear though only the skirt and the black wool coat from Paris remain.

The next NewMe wasn't nearly as adventurous though she, like me, coudn't bear to part with the first NewMe's european dreams. She was so busy working and trying to fit into a wedding dress I don't know how she had the time to swallow all those diet pills. Crazy! She left a size 8 black sleeveless cocktail dress and a pink bulky wool medium-sized sweater in my closet. If memory serves, she did wear the pink sweater once or twice during her engagement.

Her successor, the third NewMe, also bears mention. As her sisters before her, she was determined this would be the last time. She even went so far as to donate all the plus sized clothes she had! Raising kids and working left her little time to diet, but she tried slim-fast with amazing short-lived success and left a cache of size 10 career dresses and suits in her wake. I liked her. She had classic taste in clothing so I kept about 6 of her dresses, 5 skirts, 10pairs of pants, and 4 or 5 suits. All the NewMes that followed respected her taste and fashioned their larger-sized wardrobes after hers.

Fast forward many years....The most recent NewMe is still a little sad she couldn't stay longer. She gave it a valiant try and accomplished many goals during the process, including participating in a 3-day breast cancer walk, earning her lifeguard certification AND sending her oldest child off to college. Her closet contributions reflect her love of travel and recreation; bathing suits, shorts, capris and the like. She is probably the MOST excited about the last NewMe who arrives next Monday. She's promised to come over sometime tomorrow and organize all the previous Newmes' abandoned clothes into size groups for her... even though they may only meet on the beach, if Bear's analogy holds true. I trust the last Newmie will appreciate these gifts of hope.

Vikkator · 07-20-2008, 09:20 AM

I'm glad this post was resurrected, as I'm getting to the final stages of my pre-op. I'm really looking forward to the 'new me', and to be reborn. I was fit and trim in my youth, but have struggled with my weight most of my adult life. This post really hit home with me. Lately I've been a bear, moaning and groaning about dragging myself around. Yesterday I came in my front door and saw my reflection (we only have 1 full length mirror in the house, which is going to change). I just said "ugh". I'm so glad that I have an upcoming event that is going to change the way I look.

This whole prospect of WLS is giving me hope. It's helping me come out of my cocoon, even though I'm still pre-op. And although the pity party is still going on, I see my attitude changing for the better. I see myself as a slimmer person, one with energy. I am making new friends. I want to do more as a volunteer. I want to help my husband who is going crazy with his job. I'm reaching out to people for help.

I want to ride the roller coasters at Cedar Point again and be able to walk the park all day. I want to walk the 25 acres of land that we bought earlier this year that I haven't been able to see yet--to see the breathtaking views from various parts of it. I want to climb stairs without being out of breath. I want to take a walk with my son who is always bugging me to go with him and his dog. I want to go to Alaska and take a hike. I actually envision myself doing all of this and it gives me hope. It gives me something to look forward to.

Will I still bitch and moan? Of course. That's part of my psyche. But I'll find something else to bitch and moan about (like bad drivers, or my messy kids, cold and bleak winter days). That will never change. But I see a change in me already. I'm finally setting some goals in my life. I see a light at the end of the tunnel. The pity party is pooping out. Yay!

Thank you, Jeff, for being so blunt. You did not offend me. You made me think and helped me to stay positive. I appreciate your wisdom.

Paula08 · 07-24-2008, 09:15 PM

Your words are so true.....Im so very glad that I already love who I am. I am only changing the outside to represent the beautiful person who already lives inside.

Hugs
Paula

Claire-in-Texas · 07-25-2008, 03:03 AM

I think most post ops will agree with Jeff to a great extent.

I totally PROMISE you pre-op peeps that you will experience HUGE changes, and not just in your outer body. This is a journey of the mind, the spirit, the body. Embrace it. Let it happen. It will take you to a different place, a place you have never been.

Jeff, continued success on your journey!

Rottimom · 07-25-2008, 09:07 PM

I know this is an old thread but I am still new and just read it. Jeff let me know when you write the book “Brutal Honesty – The Blunt truth about life” I want to be in line to get it as it sounds like it will be a great help. I only wish I had it 30 yrs ago then I would not have wasted half my life. At least I am now on track to live the next 30 to its fullest.

BIG TOM · 07-25-2008, 09:29 PM

holy balls... that was the the best written post i have seen yet. i like the part when you are on the beach seeing your new and old self.i wonder what things i will like when i look down. if this isnt a stickey it should be