Well time is ticking away. My surgery date (Oct 23rd) approaches. I have been keeping myself busy, and tying up loose ends here with family and friends. I have also been working on my book. I hope to have it completed by Nov 15th, and then I get to find an agent. Oh boy!
Life is funny. Isn’t it funny when you are getting all revved up for a traumatic event with lots of self focus and God shows up and reminds you how important it is important to put others first. I have not shared the fact that I am going to have this surgery with too many folks, but I have shared it with my closest friends and family as they are obviously going to wonder why I am shrinking.
One day last week I thought about a long lost friend. Her name is Joyce. We have known each other for 20 years, and have always been close. We used to work together. We were like brother and sister and had no secrets. She knew me when I was married, and stayed my friend when I “came out”. That transition in itself is very difficult, and having a real friend during those times helps a lot as many “friends” turn their backs on you. Joyce stayed my friend through it all.
About four years ago she had gone through a nasty divorce. The guy got sick with cancer and ran all of her credit cards up and drove her into bankruptcy, then to top it of she found out he was cheating on her the whole time with his x-wife. Sounds like a bad soap opera I know. Either way, she disappeared. We lost touch.
This year along with all the years past I thought of her when the fall arrived. We had an old joke and whenever we talked we would always say “I love the Fall”. Well this year, I decided I would track her down.
I got her phone number from information and called. A woman answered and when I said, “Joyce?” She hung up.
I was befuddled. So I called again and said, “This is Jeff a good friend of Joyce’s. Is she there?”
The voice said, “No, she is not”.
Well I was not going to stop there. I said, “Who is this?”
She said, “Becky”. Becky is her daughter’s name who I know very well.
I said, “Becky, How the heck are you!”
Then I heard the lady cry on the phone and said, “Oh Jeff, I am can’t lie to you. This is Joyce”.
I was speechless. I knew something was horribly wrong. I said, “Joyce, what is wrong?”
She said, “I just thought you heard. I have been sick” I got a sick feeling in my stomach hearing that.
She then proceeded to tell me that on Dec 1, 2004 she had a brain aneurism and a stroke. I had tears in my eyes. I felt so bad because I was not there for her. Keep in mind, Joyce is young. She was 54 when it happened. She is a very attractive gal and dressed impeccably. She had a great career in Real Estate when I had seen her last.
I immediately made plans to see her for lunch the following week as this happened on a Friday, and I had the kids this weekend etc.
So I drove to pick her up, and here was this “old lady’ standing by the road. Gone were the curls and blond highlights. The perfect makeup and stunning clothes, but instead here comes my friend dressed in rags living in a run down apartment complex. I got out of the car, and we hugged. I could not hold back the tears. This poor woman had been through so much, and deserved so much more.
We went to lunch and talked about old times, new times and life. I was so thankful to see she was all still there. She cried every couple of minutes, and I was not sure if it was because she was so sad about what happened or if it was due to the stroke etc. She got around just fine, and though strokes usually affect one side or the other, hers did not. She moved slower, and her voice was different.
I made her laugh. That is what I do. I make people laugh. It is the one thing my friends and family say to me constantly, “You better still be funny when you are skinny!” haha I will be suckers!!
We talked about so much, and finally I had to take her home. She and I are the kind of friends that do not hold back our thoughts. We are blunt, but in a loving way. I told her she was not going to rot away in that apartment. I also told her she was not aloud to give up. I reminded her that life was TOO short and she was not to give up now.
I have not been able to stop thinking about her since. It broke my heart. It makes my surgery seem so small now.
Dave and I decided we are going to arrange for her to be picked up and taken to the salon to get her hair and nails done, and then we are taking her shopping to buy an outfit. Then we are going to have a nice dinner somewhere.(Well they will. I will be sipping water slamming down a delightful protien shake *grin*) She deserves so much more than this, but it will be a start.
To see someone have their dignity taken away is so harsh, and we are going to help her restore the thing she has lost.
So this is not a note about, “Oh look how nice Jeff is blah blah blah”. It is about what is important in life…. Love.
Wishing you all well,
Jeff
329/320/220
PS. And for you people wondering what this has to do with Gastric Bypass? The answer is EVERYTHING!
The long winded bear...
Packing up, Moving!!!!
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