Hubby told me i need to quit! - ThinnerTimes

Pokey757 · 03-02-2005, 11:21 AM

He said i am making myself sick reading posts so much. I dont think he really understands what a big deal this is for me. I will admit i was lurking on the threads about WLS regrets, and reading about the ppl who have died, on obesityhelp. But i just want to make sure i know what to expect. I have stopped lurking on those sites. Most of the ppl who were having complications were ppl who were not following the post op diet, or were not walking, or their doctors were not listening to them.
BEWARE MAKE SURE YOUR DOCTOR LISTENS TO YOU IF YOU ARE HAVING WEIRD STUFF HAPPENING.

I do think i am a tad bit obsessed about it all. I almost called a metobolic clinic last week as a last effort, to see if someone could help me. Hubby told me NO, you have come this far to look back now. I have been having bouts of feeling uncomfortable in my own skin for the last month or so. I am just so fat i cant stand it.

I did find a support meeting to go to on Monday, but came down with flu like symptoms and did not want to give everyone the crud, so i just went home and vegged. I really could have used that meeting too. oh well.

I did call my surgeons office today, to see if they had received all the paperwork to get the ball rolling. Of course they are still waiting on my PCP to fax the letters, and blood work results. He is sooo slow. So i called and left him a message to kick him in the butt. Other wise i may have to wait until April for surgery. I dont want to wait that long. I just want to start my new life.
Thanks everyone for letting me vent.

Jeanie · 03-02-2005, 11:29 AM

Support groups are great!! I didn't start getting into them until I was about 4 months out, and I really regret it. Try to make it somewhere. Where do you live? Maybe we can help you find one again.

watergirl · 03-02-2005, 12:14 PM

We understand that you are scared. Can you get too much information on WLS, probably not. It's important for you feel comfortable with the decision you've made. You are the only one that make this dicision and you have to say to yourself, enough is enough. When you know you have tried everything and your health is suffering and your co-morbidities are life limiting, you'll know it's time.

I can't say enough good about support groups. I'll share with you my story about them. I was bummed when they said I had to go to two more before my surgery. I told myself, I'll go because I have to but I had no intention of going to any more than I had too. How sad for me if I would have followed through with this plan. I have gained so much more than information. I have gained knowledge that will see me through to goal and life beyond. I have gained friendships that I treasure. I have learned to open up and share my feelings (very hard for me to do). I'm still working on this.

I wish you peace in your search.

eyesthatkissu · 03-02-2005, 01:59 PM

You can obsess about the paint color you chose for the office. You can obsess about the lady that keeps giving you dirty looks at your child's school. You can even obsess about Tom Cruise. But when it comes to this life changing, life reaffirming decision, there is NO obsession. There is only a quest for knowledge. Sure you can have tunnel vision and think of nothing else. But give yourself some credit for not being one of those people that enters into this lightly, and probally has limited success. The fact that you are concerned enough to keep asking questions and seeking answers, shows that you are understanding the complexities of your desicion, and will help you greatly in accomplishing your goals. You will find comfort in doing what is right for you dollface! Have faith in yourself.... we do!

Pokey757 · 03-02-2005, 03:14 PM

I cannot tell enough how great you all are.

I am soooo very glad i found this board. Even if you are all in Cali, and i am in Co.

This is by far the best board i have been on yet. You are all so encouraging.
Thanks!

lealphachienne · 03-02-2005, 04:22 PM

I joke with my co-workers that the obessions with food doesn't end, it just shifts focus. I check in here 1-2 times a day and enjoy just browsing. Instead of eating myself to death, I float around here. If you're going to have an addiction/obessesion, it might as well be one that benefits your health!

TabFox · 03-02-2005, 06:32 PM

I, too, was obsessed with the horror stories, compounded by my sister, the nurse, who loved to tell me about the weight loss surgery patient that she took care of in ICU that had a gazillion complications and ultimately died. I was so scared that I cancelled my surgery 3 days before surgery. I rescheduled a year later and told nobody. I only told my husband and kids 2 days before my surgery. I told my co-workers that I was having "female surgery." I told my boss the truth and he said "well, you are female, and you are having surgery. Good luck and we'll see you in 6 weeks." Fast-forward 9 months and I've lost almost 140 lbs.
It's important to be informed and educated. You need to hear the success stories, as well as the unsuccessful ones. This is not a magic cure. It's a tool. You have to use the tool in the right way. Those who have the complications are more than likely the ones who had serious problems before surgery and/or didn't follow the doctors orders afterwards. The percentage of those who have major complications is relatively small compared to the success stories.
I've only been to 1 support meeting, and that was pre-op. The meetings are scheduled on evenings when I work, so this forum is my support group.

Good luck and keep posting!
Tabitha (in Virginia)
Open 5/26/04
321/186/???

HAMPTON5555 · 03-02-2005, 07:00 PM

Hi Pokey,

Being informed is the best way to make a decision. While your husband may have good intentions, it really is up to you when and if you stop searching for information, or for that matter have the surgery.

I know it is a tough one. I made it along with hundreds (thousands)of others with the worries and fears that you are experiencing right now. My sister had plenty of bad things to say also. To quote her PCP, "that surgery is mutilation!" What a jerk!! He scared her so bad that she chose not to go through with the surgery and she weighs well into the 300 # range. I worry for her in a differant way. The wear and tear on her body carrying all that weight. She already has to have both knees replaced.

So, you see this is a very personal and yet serious decision and one only you can make.

As I respect my sisters choice, so has she come to accept mine.

As far as the forum, there is no better place. My family knows, finally, that this is where I spend my spare time. A far cry from my pre-op days where I would be spend hours whipping up a five course meal every night and then proceed to eat my way through the whole evening!!!

My thoughts and prayers are with you as you make this important choice.

Rain