Hi Gang,
Well, it’s 5 o’clock in the morning, and I could not get back to sleep. Could it be the person that sleeps next to me at night kept me up with his snoring? Though he will ensure you he most definitely does not snore? *Fake smile* Or could it be the nightmare I had?
It is strange I have not had nightmares since I was very young, at least not consistently, but in the last 2 months I have had some doozies! Now you hear people saying “Well, you really should not eat before you go to bed”. Let’s put that idea to rest, because that was not the case. For any of you interested in the dream just know a hero does save the day in the end. Unfortunately, I was one of the intended victims in this one. I mean come on!! Who kills the fat guy in horror movies!? Well I did not die, but I was up next haha. What a “B’ movie!
Now ladies and gentleman, I have spent the last two days on obesityhelp.com scouring through the photos. I have also looked at lots of the pictures on here. I feel like one of those people with a large container of popcorn in front of a 6 hour movie, but my popcorn is replaced with water flavored with Crystal Lite. (See how good I am) *grin*
I just look at all of the “before” and “after” pictures. That started two nights ago, and then I continued yesterday morning in between work projects. I would say to myself “The poor thing, Oh bless her.. Bless him” Your heart just breaks because you see them, and you see yourself. Then you see what they are becoming, and you think about what you are becoming. Either way, that combined with the last week of stress and excitement sort of brought on an emotional crash. Now I did not boo hoo, but I can tell you that I was quite soft hearted. But enough about that, we really must discuss photos. *regains composure and continues*
So I am rolling through the photos ohhing and ahhing, and something in my head clicked. I started seeing some consistency. I thought, “What is it about so many of these pictures?” I could not put my finger on it, then I realized…
“OH MY GOD…REFRIGERATORS!”
I laughed so hard out loud! So many people take their pictures in front of refrigerators. Like they were guarding their God, or protecting the family jewels. I then wondered if this was a subliminal thing we all did, or when we took pictures it was the closest backdrop. Then, I looked into a deeper place, and realized everyone had their refrigerators behind them, almost symbolizing that they had turned their back on their old friend and was walking away... some even looked like they were saying, “Hey you! Kiss my grits!” (See! I can be southern afterall!)
But I will say that in the future I encourage everyone to leave our old friends (Kenmore, Whirlpool, and that Stainless guy) out of the pictures. They are a symbol, and they speak loudly. Let’s find a new backdrop.
Now, the next most common backdrops I saw were doors and doorways. Isn’t that interesting? Is this a symbol too? It could be saying a lot. Like no one leaves till I get a candy bar? Or this is the door to my new life and to freedom from so many things?
Gastric Bypass Fashion hint #26.(The other 25 come after my surgery!)
And now for the before and after pictures… Ladies, ladies, Ladies. I am so impressed! The necks and shoulders are stunning, and I am being most sincere. Be sure to show them off. Those Edith Bunker dresses that come and wrap around your necks like panty hose... throw them out. Haven’t we as big people hid enough under our clothes. Now, don’t go nudist on me. We want to keep things with a PG rating.
Men, Men, Men... okay, first let’s be honest. Big Boy clothes are the devil. They were meant to torture you and remind you everyday that you are big and miserable. Shirts are nothing more than large shapeless tubes with a neck and armholes. So, there is not much to say about the “before” pictures, but after you have lost all that weight. Do NOT keep dressing like you used to. I would not even let your spouses dress you, because you have to remember lots of people think you are the same old Bob, or Jeff, or whatever your name is.
Go into the department store and ask someone there to help you, someone who does not know you. They will dress you much better than you can dress yourself.
Remember how you were forced to wear those busy shirts with lines and colors going in every direction, while smaller men got to wear solids? This is your chance!
Gastric Bypass Fashion hint #27.
Do NOT wear the same clothes in your “After” Pictures that you did in your “Before” Pictures. It is NOT flattering; instead you look like a deflated version of that “other” person. You have curves, lines, bones, muscles. Wear clothes that show it off. I am not saying that it is not therapeutic to put the old stuff on to say to the world “Wow, look at what I was”, but we saw that in the Before picture, show us the new you.
Gastric Bypass Fashion hint #28.
What was that song? “Wear a smile, wear a smile, wear a smile” Okay, so a lot of us were not too happy in our before pictures, but I laugh so hard when I see your after picture and you look like you could be in a diarrhea commercial (Yes, I went there! Haha! Deal with it people!) Are you feeling the love yet?
Well hopefully everyone took that with the positive lighthearted tone it was written in. It all applies to me as well, well except the Edith Bunker dress thing.
So what is next for me? (Because in the end it is really all about me…) *grin*
Well last night was the two hour nutrition seminar. Dave came with me. He wanted to be there to see how different food and life were going to be. There was a man in my class that was similar in size to me. I was thankful for that. I am sure you all know what I mean. It is nice to be able to “relate” to your GB twin, look alike, equivalent. I did not get the guys name, but he had fear in his eyes. Bless him. Bless you all abundantly. This is a huge undertaking.
So the seminar reviewed the low carb diet we are on prior to surgery, and what life was like the first two days, week, 2 weeks, month etc., and all the food phases. Then we discussed vitamins, protein shakes, etc. It was much more detailed than I listed here, but there is no reason to bore you all with something you all have probably heard a thousand times before. Oh just a gentle reminder, when in a meeting please shut off your cell phones or put them in vibrate.
We went out afterwards for dinner. I had Salmon and green beans. Of course, I drink a whole glass of water before my meal. Dave decided he was going to join me and start doing the “We don’t drink when we eat or 1 hour after” thing. Aren’t habits amazing?! I drank most of my water, and when the food came I had a bite and I watched my hand reach for the water. I put it on the other side of the table. Dave looked at me recognizing what I was up to and nodded. He put his glass there as well. Either way, midway through eating I look over and he has his tea back in his hand. I grinned at him, and he put it down like it was poison. So, then we had to fight off the waitress who kept wanting to refill the drinks, then she thought something was wrong with them, blah blah.. How long must we deal with the Gastric Bypass uneducated! *grin*
Well, as you can see I rambled entirely too long. The coffee is done, and I am about to indulge.. Of course I should be practicing no caffeine, but I knocked out all the rest in my day, and well... baby steps *smile*
That is it for now, my paperwork gets submitted to insurance today. It appears all the pre-reqs have been met. They are hinting end of September or October 1st. We shall see!
Keep smiling!
Jeff
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Nutrition Seminar and My Life on the GB list
Gobble-Gobble!
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