Drama Right Before Surgery!!! - ThinnerTimes

SunkissedMe · 08-06-2007, 05:25 PM

Since my husband isn't in the country at the moment, I asked my sister (we didn't have the best relationship growing up), if she would fly down to come and help me out while I am recovering. She came, and that was a big mistake..she criticized where I lived...according to her it is too quiet, people dress like they are from the country, she made it seem like I live in a backwards town. She likes to control everything and because she is older then me she tries to control me as well. Today when I came home from work for lunch I told my son to pull up his pants....(he wears the baggy jeans) my sister butts in the conversation and tells me that she did not come here to hear me arguing with my son and that I should leave and go back to work...can you believe the gall????? Well this led into an all out blow out to where she finally said, if you don't want me here I can leave, and of course she was yelling when she said this to me, things got really ugly. To make a long story short I called the airline agency changed her ticket and she will be leaving tomorrow morning. I can't deal with drama, I do believe she is bi-polar, I can't deal with craziness before I have my surgery. My son just turned 18 and he will be my support. It would have been nice to have my sister around for support but I should have known from her craziness in the past that she has to destroy everything she comes in contact with. I'm glad she is leaving, however, sorry to say she has destroyed our relationship and I will keep in contact but it will be on a general hi and bye basis. So now, everyone here will be my support along with my son. I'm scared about surgery on Wednesday, I don't want to have complications while I am on the table and I want to make it out of surgery okay. I guess these fears are normal, but today I needed a place to vent . Sorry to lay such a heavy burden on my thinner times friends. Please keep me in your prayers, it's a stressful time, what with my husband being out of the country, and my son being my main support. I have a girlfriend who is going to drive me to the hospital (my son only has a driving permit, so he can't drive me around for now). I'm sure I will feel better once my sister is gone and I can get back to a normal routine.

Love y'all,
Pamela

LisaM · 08-06-2007, 05:29 PM

You know, I found out with my sister that neither one of us meant to hurt, but there is so much baggage that we just about can't help it. When I stayed with her for a week in June, she said I had done something to hurt her feelings four years back... something I don't even remember doing.

Not saying mine's worse than yours, just saying sister relationships are complex... and worth saving if you can. However, nothing is worth that kind of drama just before you go in to have surgery. Your life needs to be as calm as you can get it, either with or without your sister...

I'll be thinking about you... feel free to come on TT and vent... that's at least part of what we're here for...

KarenInKali · 08-06-2007, 05:30 PM

Oh Pamela! Hugs to you! I'm sorry that you're going through this, but I think that in all honesty you have done the right thing, and you have the correct person for support (your son)! If she was that controlling and you had that many issues before surgery, think of how she would have been while you were home trying to recover! I bet your son will be doting on you the whole time and things will be okay. Hang in there!

Nena 1975 · 08-06-2007, 05:51 PM

Hi Pamela,

I'm so sorry to hear that; however you did the right thing in shipping her out - She would of made things worst for you. I know is hard, but when you go into surgery, just think that you are going into a beutiful beach with sun rays and palm trees. It help me clam my nerves and put at ease all the drama that took place a few days before. Befor you know it, you will be in the recovery room, and the person closest to you will be there (your son) - Some times that's all we need.

Good Luck, my prayers are with you ~

Millie

Gina in NY · 08-06-2007, 06:24 PM

Wow - you are amazingly focused and did the absolute right thing! (imho) Limiting the drama was the best thing you could have done - keep the focus on you and your recovery, NOT on your sister's opinions. You may be surprised at how well you do - you never know. In any case, all you really need is to make sure you have enough crystal lite or whatever you're drinking on hand. Make sure you have your pain meds lined up and all will be well.

And never appologize for venting to us! That is why we are here - we all do it at one time or another. (or several times if that is what is needed!)

We will be thinking of you!

Good Luck!!!

LyndasRoom · 08-06-2007, 08:49 PM

Pamela,
Isn't it amazing how family can be with one another! I'm glad she's leaving, you don't need the stress. Your son will do just fine, and if your girlfriend can stay with you at the hospital, that will be good. My hospital required that we have someone there from the family, in case decisions needed to be made about your care, while you're in surgery. Hopefully your son can be there. Maybe call your surgeon's office or the hospital and find out for sure, so you're not surprised when you get there.
Sending you (((hugs))) and tons of loving support!

I_love_Hello Kitty · 08-06-2007, 11:06 PM

I think your sister does not know how to support you. She sounds very unsure of herself...that she has to criticize you and your surroundings and your home. She would have been no help.

I am taking a cab to the hospital for my surgery next week since I have little kids and my hubby needs to be home with them. I don't care. I'll get there however I have to in order for it to happen.

You be strong. Don't let her drama affect your positivness...
You'll be fine, and you don't think about it for another moment. This is your time to devote to yourself and your success!

Gwen · 08-07-2007, 01:59 AM

Hi Pamela

Just wanted to wish you good luck for tomorrow and a speedy recovery!!!

You did the right thing!

Lovetoday · 08-07-2007, 07:25 AM

Hi there, this conflict in your house is the last thing you need.
Focus on what it be like 3 months afterwards and bite the bullet.
Your son is there for you and so are we!

Good luck- all will go well.