Had my consult today - ThinnerTimes

Pokey757 · 02-11-2005, 02:38 PM

I went to see my Surgeon today. It went well. I did learn my BMI is 55, and that my blood pressure is way up there too. This may have to do some with me being nervous. I went there with all these questions, and concerns, and came out of the meeting only asking half of them. He informed me of a lot. I go to the nutrition class on Sunday. They say depending on how i plan for my dr. visits and pshyc eval i could be looking to have surgery in the middle to end of March.

I was not expecting that. For it to be so soon.
On a better note my husband had a miraculous turn around on his descision about me having this surgery. He said i should go for it. Found out it is because he and i found that i could be having some serious health issues here soon if i dont do something. So he is concerned i may die. My son is not happy with the idea of me losing weight. He says he just cant picture me any other way, and since he thinks skinny people are mean, he thinks i will become mean. He's too cute.
On another note. I must say i also belong to obesityhelp.com and those people there are not very much help. I usually never get a response to any of my questions or comments. I dont understand why. I was looking forward to finding people in My area (Aurora, Colorado) that were going thru the same stuff. People i could meet up with, or share with. I have lived here all my life and am coming to the conclusion that people here are rude, insensitive, and cruel, stuck up.... should i keep going?

I always thought it was just the people who came into contact with me were rude becuz i was fat, but i am starting to think they are rude to everyone no matter what. Bummer, cuz we dont plan on moving, i guess i will just have to live with it.

Any way. Do you think it is bad that i did not get all my questions from my list answered?
All i could think about was my hair falling out. Kelly the nutritionist told me i had a 50/50 chance i will lose hair. She said there is nothing (at all) that i can do about it. I will or i wont. My husband told me i was sounding very vain, and that was not like me. What the heck is my problem. Here i am sooooo fat it could make me die and i am worried about my freakin hair. I am so not a vain person. I also feel like such a failure. I keep telling myself i did try every diet out there, and none of them worked, however i really did not try as hard as i could have, and most of them i gave up way to early to see if they even could help. So have i really given it my all? I am so nervous and anxious about all this. Is all this wierd? normal? wrong?
I also dont want anyone at my work to know about this, except my bosses. Is this wrong? Am i embarrassed? I dont know, i just dont want everyone to know what a complete and utter failure i am. I know i will tell them eventually but for now i just want it to myself. I am a very private person. You may not realize that from the way i just spilled my guts. But i am.
I really need to get on the phone with my uncle who has WLS last over a year ago. Just to see what all he experienced.
Anyway, sorry for the long vent but i do feel better now.
Thanks for listening (reading and sharing)

pambragg · 02-11-2005, 02:57 PM

Pokey,
All the things you are feeling are perfectly normal. I can understand your privacy issues, but I was the opposite. I have no qualms about stating that having this surgery was the most important thing I have ever done for myself. 7 months and 126 lbs later, I am still walking on air. Everyone is different. Do what is right for you. If you have any questions, feel free to post here, there is a wealth of information available. Good luck and God speed on a safe and speedy recovery.

bridgetgirl · 02-11-2005, 02:58 PM

Okay sister girl, check this out... ahem.

I totally understand your concern about hairloss, and when I looked into having the surgery 6 years ago this was the one thing I couldnt get out of my head either.... I asked many, many people about it, they told me the same things I have shared with you, yet I could not get over it. So I delayed doing this formyself for 6 long years. Now one year out and many fine cute lil baby hairs growing in later... it wasnt a big deal. At all, my conern.. there I was a single mother with 2 sons, a fantastic wardrobe, a "pretty face" and a gorgeous head of hair.... and low self esteem and ailing health, aching ankles, knees and back. Couldnt run without gasping for air or peeing on myself... couldnt laugh without peeing on myself... and lastly, plagued by terrible headaches. Let me tell you, reassure you, the hairloss really isnt THAT bad. us, the MO in general are control freaks and perfectionists... we cant get around it. We are also our own worst critic..... it wil not be the bad. I cant wait until March of next year when you are telling someone else the same.

Trust me, you will laugh about it, I have.

Have you given ityour all? Do you think an insurance carrier who operat fully for profit would allow you to have the surgery if they didnt think you didnt give it all you had? One thing I was telling a friend of mine yesterday about this surgery is that you have to BE a failure, and unsuccessful to get this surgery. That isa total blow to the self esteem, to know that there was no amount of therapy, diet or wonder pill that could help me.. i was a failure. But ya know what? Now I have the surgery and Im a winner. i feel great and darn it from all the years of depression, descrimination and decreasing helath, I deserve it. And so do you!
as far as telling people, thats your choice. Some people tell some people dont. I think asking your Uncle for advice on that is great. If you are asking me I say tell it! Scream it from a rooftop. the weightloss is so dramatic, it melts away so fast.. you will have to tell eventually and people if that arent informed will usually draw their own conclusions, which usually arent positive. Ask DaleM, she'll tell you a story about that one.... Also, Im glad I told beciause I did have a complication. I almost didnt tell my Aunt until 1 week before surgery that I was going to do this.... I didnt want her to worry... and then I thought, if I dont tell her and something should happen, she would never forgive me.... so I told her, I dealt with her sick, worried look but it was because she loved me, and that was endearing.
Here I go again with another novel for you to read

hang in there girlfriend, everything is going to be great. my boys were scared too, and now they are so proud... I love their reaction to the new me!

Your son will too. Change is difficult for everyone.... no matter their size! We love ya girl and were proud of ya! ((( HUGS )))

Mr AOR · 02-11-2005, 03:39 PM

I totally feel you on the hair loss thing. Back in the day, about 5 years ago, I had a total mop of hair. I was what's commonly referred to as a "hair farmer." I did have big hair in the '80s, and although I still love the music, I couldn't quite pull it off in my mid-20s, in the late '90s, especially in the corporate world.

I have always prided myself on the hair. It was the only source of pride for me, in terms of my physical appearance. But I was ready for a change, and I chopped it!

As far as my weight, yes I was concerned about the hair (and tons of other junk, obviously!), but it once again, I was ready for a change, and I chopped it (this time, my stomach!).

There have been times when it's lost its lustre, and times when I've noticed some thinning, but my increasing the intake of protein, it seems to be holding up. So far, so good!

When I do rankings chart of what's important for me to be happy in my life, hair doesn't even make the top 10. I think if you do some self-examination, you'll find it ranks pretty low on your own personal list, as well.

On the topic of failures, I think you should give yourself a break. People fail at things all the time, that's what makes the word "success" so significant! The thing is, when most people "fail," it's not a public thing. We all can't fully visualize the impact of their failures. With weight-related issues, it's more clearly evident to everyone, most importantly, ourselves. The insiduous thing about weight is that it impacts SOooooOOoooo many other facets of our lives! I've always been fat - always, always, always! I never really realized how much of my life was influenced by my handicap.

This surgery is not the decision of a failure, it's the action of a winner. It's assertively taking the tools that are needed to succeed. It's taking a chance, it's about taking the risk, but the new life that's waiting for you can be soooooo worth it!

Final statement - you are not a failure. You're a winner, because the final declaration of "winner" and "loser" isn't made until the end of the race. Your finish line isn't for quite a while yet!

Best of luck to you, and keep us updated!

pambragg · 02-11-2005, 03:47 PM

Mike,
Very eloquently said!!!

bridgetgirl · 02-11-2005, 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pambragg

Mike,
Very eloquently said!!!

Totally! Do we have a potential "Dr. Phil" here... we have our "Oprah" with Barbara.... ????

Blueyz · 02-11-2005, 05:53 PM

I did not tell anyone at my work because I work with a bunch of jealous sabotagers. I think it is none of their business, so I kept it to myself. I just tell them that I have changed my lifestyle.

All of your concerns are so normal. I had a rough time with my own family members being judgmental and so against me having the surgery. My mom was petrified and at the same time jealous. She is over it now because she sees how my life greatly changed in just 7 short months.

Good luck with everything and stay positive!

Kelly · 02-11-2005, 06:08 PM

I told my entire job...and I work at a call center. Post-Op they ALL sent me a card to wish me well and to come back soon. I have yet to experience the criticizum, but then again I have not been back to work yet. When I was pre-op I often heard "you are not large enough for surgery." My response..."see me nude and you will never say that again." LOL I hid the FAT well. lol. I say, do what you think is right and what will benefit you. It helped me when I had several people ask me from work "so when is the big date." I loved it! Stay positive and everything will fall into place (I am still working on following my own words... lol).

Carl D · 02-11-2005, 08:17 PM

Anyone who is have WLS is a winner !!! we come to a place in our life that we deserve a true solution and will no longer bye into the things other weight loss programs say that don't apply to us. As fot who I told, I told everyone at work however, I did resign and who know if I will tell people at my new job. I think it is important for me to share openly about it. Who knows if my openess will lead someone else to WLS and changing their life.

Pokey757 · 02-12-2005, 02:33 PM

Thanks everyone for your support, and understanding.
As far as the hair loss thing. My surgeon told me that if i did have hairloss that mine would probably be noticable. Since i am already thin on top anyway. But my hubby just keeps tellin me it will grow back and if i need to we will go get me a wig.

As far as telling people. I work i a very small office, of 11 people so it is not like it's going to be that easy to keep from ppl. I guess most of it is my shame of failure. I know you've all said that we are all winners, but some how i just cant get over the fact that i am such a pig that i have to have someone rearange and cut my insides in order to get me to lose weight. Sorry if i offend anyone, but this is how i feel. What if i dont keep all the weight off? What if i just cant stand ppl looking at me. I already hate it when guys check out my goods, but what will it be like when i am thin? What if i just cant stand it? I guess i am just still in the VERY nervous stage.
All i can think about these days are food, and what it is going to be like just eating a bite or two of this and that, or the foods i will have to say goodbye to. Can i really do this? I cant control myself now, how can i after?
I go to my class tomorrow so maybe i will gain some more knowledge there and feel less stressed.
I am sorry to be so pesimistic. I am usually a very happy go lucky kind of person. I love to laugh, and have fun. I guess i am just a little depressed.

Thanks to all for listening.
p.s. very funny, the comment about me being here a year from now telling ppl not to worry about the hairloss.