Love the site - ThinnerTimes

CJ Skinner · 02-09-2005, 03:41 AM

I have been sitting here all night looking and reading this site. I am not in the western United States, but by reading the threads I was assured I could join and participate in the forum. I would like to say, of all the sites I have been on, this is the best. I have not joined any so far because they wern't what I would call a very good place to get information. I also noticed tonight that the folks that are on here a faithfull in answering letters and such.
I am on here tonight because in the near future I will be going in for the surgury. i have been approved by everyone in the process except the therapist. He thinks I need a little more time to get ready for the surgury. He said I also had to expand my circle of friends. This is the hard one as I really dont have a support group in my family and only know a few people to talk to. So I am going to adopt some folks in here and include them in my circle of friends. I had so many questions when i got on here tonight and a lot of them have been answered. I still have a few. I am worried about the changes in eating and want some ideas as to what to expect. The good and the bad. The other thing the therapist said was,he wanted me to go over some of the things that happened to me as a child. As these have been avoided most of my life, I find it hard to understand why talking bout these things can help in the way I handle the surgury. Since I have started to talk about these things with my own therapist, i have had nightmares(dont normally have them). I have punched my bed twice while asleep defending myself in my sleep. It's not funny that all this stuff is coming back from 38 years ago. O well. Did any body here have the doc say any of the same things to them or things that were close. I look forward to hearing from each and everyone of you. thanks for the ear. cj

watergirl · 02-09-2005, 07:32 AM

First off, welcome to the forum. We are truely glad that you are here. I would be honored to be included in your circle of friends.

Changes in eating - I'm 6 months out from surgery today. These are the differences that I have experienced. I can't eat that much at one sitting - maybe a 1/2 cup at the most - depends on the food. I'm in the honeymoon phase and can expect my appetite to increase in the very near future. This scares me. I've missed the opportunity to eat more only once and that was early on. My comfort food was nachos. Ask anyone that knew me pre-op. I can't seem to enjoy them as much as I used to. I believe my taste buds have changed. I'm willing to change the way I eat to improve my health and lifestyle. Nothing tastes as good as thin feels! I've been there before in past diets.

Yep, you've got to deal with what got you where you are today. Therapy usually goes back to childhood. You have to figure out what was so hard to process as a child and look at it differently as an adult with adult life experiences and more information. It does sound like you have something to deal with. I wish you much luck and success in processing it.

The surgery works on the amount of food you eat, therapy works on the head trip stuff which got you MO. As our Doctor says, I did surgery on your stomach, you have to work on the head stuff.

I hope you'll continue to post and keep us posted on your progress. Again, welcome!

pambragg · 02-09-2005, 08:21 AM

CJ,
Welcome to our little family. And believe me, that is what we are. We are there for each other, to cheer on and to chew out. That is what family is all about. I know I would not have made it this far or done this well with out all my friends here. We are there for you. As for having to see a therapist for a bit longer, I wish they'd insisted I do that. I have a lot of baggage from my youth that I still need to deal with and I just keep putting it off because I dread it so much. I will eventually, when I am ready. Obviously we eat much less now. I stay away from fatty food and sugars as much as possible. If you have any other questions feel free to post or private email me. Once again, welcome!

lealphachienne · 02-09-2005, 08:38 AM

Therapy is a must to help with the changes. There's a lot of emotional stuff tied up with our eating habits. If the emotional issues aren't dealt with, then the unhealthy coping strategies can cause you to bypass the bypass. There's such a self esteem and body image change. Many women have a very difficult time with becoming more attractive and getting more attention. If there's any unresloved sexual issues from childhood, particularly any type of abuse, then it will arise during your recovery. Even if it's something from decades ago. If you can start to deal with those issues now, you will have a better recovery and results from the surgery. The surgery is a tool, not a cure.

bridgetgirl · 02-09-2005, 11:01 AM

Hi CJ, welcome to our wonderful little board! It's an honor to have you, as you chose us as carefully as you did!

I am a year out today and eating for me is routine. After the first 4 months food is not sucha big deal anymore. I pretty much eat whatever I want, I do not feel deprived of any food and I havent felt that way for many, many months. Everything eaten is done in moderation, one amazing change for me is I do not eat after dinner anymore, That se to be my binging hours, that changed... I finally got over food and It doesnt control me anymore. When Im sad or upset I dont turn to food... the downside, I started to turn to other negative things. This is where it is key to stay in therapy.. I am not as constant with it as I should be, this will change. I started to turn to perscription medication to "calm me". To make me feel better... now I have stopped that cold turkey as I recognize this could become a bad habit for me.... I feel as though I was staring into theeyes of another addiction, I turned and ran like hell. Stick with that therapist, that person sounds awesome and genuinely concerned for you.

Most MO people have had tradgic and terrible childhoods, its usually not a happy place.. many of us have been there, relived or confronted our experiences... its not comfortable, but it has to be done. You can start to really see why you allowed yourself to become MO and "unattractive" in the first place. For awhile here on this board a few of us had a " My parents were worse than you parents" moment... thats why I think we all get along as well as we do, we have walked a mile in each others shoes, we know how we feel by the look in ones eyes, or the the things we say... we connect on a very deep level here amongst each other... that is if you allow yourself to be open to friendships.

Well, I guess I wil go now, as I feel as I could ramble for hour. Its a pleasure having you here, I look forward to hearing from you more often! Best wishes to you! there are no questions to silly or redundant (except for the ones about hair I suppose

) Big hugs to you!

Zanners · 02-09-2005, 03:26 PM

Hi CJ:
I see you found your way here. Welcome. As I mentioned you will find a lot of information here. Factual medical stuff and practical experience. This group is full of experience and will help you along..heck Florida isn't that far away huh?

Suzanne

Christina · 02-09-2005, 03:45 PM

CJ,

Hello and welcome to the family.. and what a great family it is!! You will find great friends here. Congrats on getting all of your approvals so far.. with the exception of one. I wish I had more therapy before I took the plunge. I didn't realize how much my life would drastically change after surgery. I went into it thinking first of all that I would fail.. which I haven't so far. Also I thought that as I shrunk, my problems and worries would shrink with me.. boy was I ever wrong on that one!! The surgery does change your body, but your head is what is the hardest change to deal with.

As you embark on your journey you realize that you can't stuff your worries in your mouth through a bag of chips or cookies.. you actually have to DEAL with them. That is a tough one for most of us.. because we were used to erasing our memories and hiding behind the bag of whatever it was we were eating. We can't do that anymore. We have to deal with our problems, and face them head on. It is a scary process for most, I know it is for me. I didn't have the horrible childhood memories of some.. as my Dad was always awesome and my Mom she sure tries too!! I had a relatively good childhood with a lot of happy memories. Most of my depression and anxiety stems from post-teenage years when I was in a couple of very bad relationships. That is when I started gaining weight and hiding my feelings from everyone.. and eating to comfort myself. Before that I was relatively thin, but not perfect. Anyway what I guess I am saying is that there is a lot of emotional stuff that stems from having this surgery. You are in a whirlwind.. you are losing weight very rapidly in the beginning.. you hardly recognize yourself anymore, although it is exciting when you are losing weight, you have just lost your "best friend" your defense mechanism, your coping mechanism.. in food. It is tough!! I don't miss food quite as much as I thought I would. I eat what I want pretty much, but don't eat that crappy junk food that I ate before surgery. Don't get me wrong I may have a few chips here and there but I don't do it in the quantity that I did pre-op!! I don't deprive myself of anything other than sweets and things with sugar in them. I try and live life as a "normal thin person" although I truly don't feel that way. I still have that part of me that still feels like everyone is staring at me because I am fat. I have to work on that one.

Everyone thinks this is the EASY WAY OUT!! And that ticks me off more than anything. This is NOT easy by any means. If you want to be successful, I truly recommend that you keep up your therapy. There are so many changes that happen so quickly and you do revert back to old and bad feelings that happened to you at a younger stage in your life. Trust me on this one, therapy is very important. We all have our issues, and we must deal with them. If we don't we may revert back to being Morbidly Obese, and being only a pound away from a "normal" weight I truly do not want to go back there! I am finally getting where I am comfortable in my own skin and body again.. even the saggy stuff..

Good luck to you.. and ask away if you have any further questions.. we're here for ya!!

CJ Skinner · 02-09-2005, 08:44 PM

wow. I was never expecting the response that is here. i figured one person might write a note. This is cool. I have always been big and most everything that was written here fits me to a T. I am still in therepy and have already been told she would sign the approval but i wanted to wait a couple of more weeks before she sent the letter. Not avoiding the surgury but making sure i am not set up to fail by not taking all the help I can get. Again folks, thanks for the uplift and the engouragment.

cedesigns · 02-10-2005, 12:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CJ Skinner

I am still in therepy and have already been told she would sign the approval but i wanted to wait a couple of more weeks before she sent the letter.

Welcome CJ! I am pretty new here myself and up until I found this board I was pretty much on my own. It's really incredible to have people to bounce off your fears, and ideas, and successes. This is a major life altering experience you need to do it with friends and with support. As far as the therapy goes, take it as much as you can get it. Therapy helps you sort things out, all of our backgrounds and experiences are different. Just going through your history can be a very healing thing. Sometimes it can bring up bad memories but working them through is the only way to move on in your life. Good luck, and enjoy~