Not getting any family support for my decision. - ThinnerTimes

Siren · 11-12-2006, 02:24 AM

I haven't posted in about 2 months because I've been offline, but couldn't wait to get back on here and see how everyone is doing. I only posted a short time before going AWOL, so I'm still considered new here.

Anyway, I had to go on the 6 month wait and I'm almost 4 months through that. It really does fly by. I have had my sleep study and went to the seminar and currently have several pages of paperwork to complete and send in for the insurance. Part of me is so excited and part of me is scared to death. I'm hoping for a late January, early February surgery.

The problem I'm having is lack of family support. Every one of my family members who knows about this is trying to talk me out of it. I really do understand their concern, because of the high death rate. I wish there was something I could tell them that would make them more comfortable. My mother keeps telling me about all these diets that "work" (you know how it goes). I just wish she would stop, but I dont say anything out of respect for knowing she is talking out of fear. From hearing her talk, my 13 year old son is now concerned. This really bothers me.

I do have a question though......

During my 6 month wait, I am supposed to lose 5% of my total body weight and keep it off (per the ins. guidelines). I havent lost any at all yet. My doctor says she had several people who actually gained (same insurance) and was approved. Have any of you done this? I'm so worried that I'm gonna have to start all over again and try for another 6 months.

Anyway, thats my progress so far. I have one friend who has had the surgery and she is supportive but I dont get to talk to her much. Guess I'll be spending more time here.....lol

Gina in NY · 11-12-2006, 06:18 AM

I'll start with the easy part - I had to lose 10% for my surgeon, not even the insurance, but I'll tell you, when I gained back 7 pounds, I had to start again and get recertified. I was off the list for a while, so some people, surgeons, insurance companies etc. can take it very seriously.

I'm not going to tell you it is easy, but you have to examine your desire to buck the system so early on. You can lose 5% of your weight - when you're heavy, it comes off pretty fast at first. (My first 5% was gone in a couple weeks, it was the last 8 pounds that killed me) It is a chance to adjust to some of the life style changes you're going to have to live with. It isn't torture on purpose.

Family - they need to be informed. I think the death rate has come way down AND the better shape you're in, the better your personal odds. Also - find out your surgeon's death rate. When I told my family my surgeon had not lost anyone on the table, it made them all feel much better.

Complications are a reality - find out your surgeon's rate for all those too.

In the end, you have to just appeal to their love for you. You've made the decision, and now you need their support.

Good luck!

tliszka · 11-12-2006, 08:30 AM

Maybe this little tidbit from my surgeon will help you with your 5%. He said that the first fat you lose comes from your liver. Your liver sits in front of your stomach. The liver has to be held up out of the way in order to get in laporscopicly(spelling?). His nurse said he has only had one lap. that had to be converted to an open because of a nicked liver, the guy was really big. When I found out the way behind this loss requirement it was easier for me. Hope this helps a little. T

ready4achange · 11-12-2006, 08:52 AM

What about inviting your family to a support meeting ? My oldest daughter was not too happy about me getting the surgery because "she knew someone that had it done and looks bad" Yes, I have seen the guy and if you don't follow the rules you will pay the price. So she and her sister went with me to a support meeting so they could hear the good and the bad. I am a year out now and " do not look bad " I did have a wow when my cousin asked me if I was trying to lose more because " you don't need to"

I still want to lose about 30 or so but after losing 100 I'm happy. You can also get them to read people's profiles , mine is at the bottom at OH. Yes, there are complications but that is a rarety.
Good Luck,
Sandy