FINALLY have my surgeon consultation today! - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

desperatelyseekingME · 07-12-2006, 04:33 AM

It seems I don't get to update here frequently - at least as frequently as I would like. It's been a long three weeks since I called the surgeon's office and finally today at 2:30 is my appointment.

I had a mini-stroke yesterday when I got a message on my voicemail that indicated that they would have to reschedule as Dr. Lord was going to have to be in surgery today. I had to collect myself (you know, suck in the pouty lip and all) and call them back. When I called they told me NEVER MIND. They said that at first they thought he'd be in surgery, then he wasn't going to be in surgery - she said it's been crazy but to just come on as planned. *WHEW* What a rollercoaster!

We've been working on trying to finish up the refinancing on our house/land and it's been such a pain in the @$$. It's been going on since the 5th of May and let me tell you, if it had been me dealing with this company instead of my husband, suffice it to say we'd have been using a different company a long time ago

. Anyhoo, I have learned that I am most definitely a stress eater. I never noticed it before but I am realizing that for the last 3.5 years that I've known my husband I've been stressed out. If it wasn't his ex wife being a witch and causing strife between my husband and his kids, then it was stuff like this refinance - nothing goes easy it seems. Soooo having said all that, I now qualify for BC/BS's criteria - I have gained the few lbs that I needed to qualify.

Learning this about myself also explains why I have gained so much over the last few years. I've learned that I can't really vent to my husband about the stress I'm under because he takes it personally and no good comes from it, so I hold it inside and eat to try to sooth the agitation....(hehe who needs a psych, this is all as clear as day to me now). That has to change!! I am going to go back to journeling again. Just typing out everything that is eating me, so I don't end up eating everything else

.

Anyway sorry for the mini-novel, I just wanted to give a quick (yeah right) update on my situation. Please keep me in your thoughts today, I finally feel like I'm starting out on my true journey....and I've got major jitters.

Bypassingme619 · 07-12-2006, 06:05 AM

Kimber I hope all goes great today at your appointment. You seem like you are going through a lot right now but I have to be honest and say I think you should really consider seeking someone to speak to about all you are going through. This surgery is just a tool, it will not magically change what is going on in your married or the other things that stress you out. Stress eating is psychological and this surgery doesn't cure psychological problems. I hope you don't take offense I just want to make sure you get started on the right foot when walking over to the other side.

desperatelyseekingME · 07-12-2006, 07:18 AM

Hi Denise!

Thank you for your words of encouragement and trust me I don't take offense to your suggestion of finding someone to talk to after the surgery. I'm all too aware of all the things that got me diagnosed with "situational depression" in the first place. My weight is just a piece of that puzzle and I know it - and I also know that this tool will not magically fix all the issues I deal with on a daily basis.

I'm the kind of person that feels like they could eat an elephant a bite at a time - ok maybe that's a bad analogy - but what I mean is that yes I want to work on all the issues I have, but this tool will be a great place to start because I seem to have the biggest problem with my self esteem and it's my outter personal image that disturbs me most. I've more or less just become a shell (an overweight one at that) of the happy person I used to be. I've always been taught that you cannot expect to truly love or be loved by others until you can love yourself. I feel that love should be unconditional and right now, well I'm not feeling that love for myself (in body form). Now, I love the person I am inside - granted it's DEEP inside right now and I tend to lose touch more and more with that inner me because of the outter stuff I have to deal with. I just more or less exist when things are stressful, it becomes too much to cope with efficiently.

I have seriously been considering setting up an appointment for my husband and I to see a counselor together. We both have our issues and sometimes our issues feed off each other's and well, need I say it's not pretty?

In the past, I have had a hard time being comfortable with some counselors as they seemed very impersonal and I read that as judgemental (it's a self esteem issue). I am comfortable with the pastor of my parents' church so I will probably see if I can meet with him on a regular or even semi-regular basis (he lives about 45 minutes from me but drives on Wednesdays and Sundays for church services). I just need to talk to him about it as he and I have spoken in depth about things before and he's just so real and 'in touch' that he's very easy to talk to.

Ok wow, I didn't mean to go off on that tangent...Sorry about that

desperatelyseekingME · 07-13-2006, 04:26 AM

I won't take up another thread (that few will read

) but I just wanted to see it written down in front of me.

The surgeon I saw yesterday said I am a "VERY GOOD CANDIDATE" for surgery! I already scheduled my Nutritional Orientation, Nutritional Eval, Psych eval and endoscopy and have the paperwork to get my labs, chest x-ray and EKG done (I'll do it all before one of the above appointments). I do need to see my OB-GYN because I need a pap-smear, but other than that, things are FINALLY moving along for me...there, I feel better