SAHM here wondering how much help I will need after surgery... - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

adagirl · 10-16-2009, 10:32 AM

I'm just not sure what I should be planning on in terms of help after surgery. I am a stay-at-home-mom and have a 4 year old and a 6 year old. How soon after surgery will I be able to...

* drive
* cook
* wash dishes
* do laundry
* grocery shop (lift bags of stuff)

Everything else can go to heck and I don't care, but these are the few things that pretty much have to be done all the time. My only frame of reference for surgery is two c-sections. Will my stomach be sore like that? And, will I have restrictions like being told not to drive or lift anything for a certain number of days?

I can arrange help from friends and my DH can stay home from work for up to a week if I need it, but just not sure if it is necessary to plan for that.

Shetaz0028 · 10-16-2009, 10:38 AM

You will get different answers from different people. I had LAP RNY so my surgery was different than yours will be but, my life went back to normal with the exception of lifting things the day I got out of the hospital. I had hubby put the laundry basket in the laundry room for me and he had to carry the clean cloths to the room for me. I have wheeled carts for my groceries and just unloaded the carts but, left the bags of sugar, flour, cleanin supplies, etc. for hubby or daughter to do for me. I was told I could drive as soon as I was not taking the pain meds (which I didn't take). It all depends on you and your body. Pay close attention to your body and understand that you may have to take a rest while doing the dishes. It's ok.

poet_kelly · 10-16-2009, 10:45 AM

You will really need to check with your doctor on some of this, because some docs will say different things. I had gastric bypass, and I think that takes a bit longer to recover from sometimes, but here's what I experienced.

Driving- I was told it was fine as soon as I stopped taking pain meds. So about five days, I think.

Cooking- Two days after surgery, I was heating up soup and stuff for myself. But not cooking for a family. I would not have felt like being on my feet that long for a week or so, I don't think.

Wash dishes- I don't remember exactly, but maybe a week or so. And then only for short periods at a time.

Do laundry- Again, maybe a week. But I was told not to lift anything over ten pounds for six weeks, so no carrying heavy laundry baskets around.

Grocery shopping- It was probably about a week before I went to the grocery store, and then I just got a few things. Not an all-out shopping trip to stock up the house or anything. And again, I was not supposed to lift anything heavy.

Kelly

hollycerniglia · 10-16-2009, 01:23 PM

As far as the driving goes I was told I could drive as soon as I was off the pain meds. That was six days for me. I was not able to lift for 6 weeks. When it comes to housework and laundry it was about a week for me.

mistymee · 10-16-2009, 02:09 PM

As mentioned, it is really hard for anyone to tell you because we don't know how YOU will be feeling... you won't know till you get there. Some depends on pain tolerances, whether you have complications or what.

I was in the hospital 5 days, and the restrictions were no driving till I was off pain meds- for me, that meant nearly 3 weeks. My first trip out, was to the grocery store and I ended up having to go sit on a bench halfway through, crying because I was so tired and didn't know if I was going to be able to drive myself home. (I lived alone w/ no family nearby at the time) As soon as a woman returned that electric cart, I grabbed it and finished my shopping. Then the trick was- getting it all in my house.. thankfully I had a kind neighbor.

That first week home (second week post op) I couldn't even wipe my butt by myself, as it hurt too much to lean, needed help in the shower, I didn't even have the strength to crush my pills on my own. I needed help to get into and out of bed. I didn't even TRY to get dressed. My hunny came to stay with me that first week home and then he had to leave to go back to VT (I lived in MA at the time)..

Lifting limitations were.. nothing heavier than 5 lbs for six weeks, which was fine by me, as I couldn't have lifted if I'd wanted to. Cooking didn't start until maybe the 4th or 5th week and it was just my own food. I think if anyone had expected me to cook for them at that point, they'd have starved.

But as mentioned above, I had complications during my surgery and it ended up being a bit more extensive than most so mine was more extreme.

I guess my point would be to say "plan for the worst, but hope for the best". Plan to have as much help you can gather together and if you don't need it, then at least you're ahead of the game.

poet_kelly · 10-16-2009, 02:36 PM

You know, you might want to stock up on some paper plates and plastic utensils so you don't have to do dishes at first. And you can cook some meals ahead of time and freeze them if you have room in the freezer. Or plan to serve cereal and canned soup and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and stuff for dinner for a while. Your kids won't care. They'd probably love it.

Kelly

adagirl · 10-16-2009, 03:40 PM

Thanks for all your advice. I really appreciate it. I think I will go for the 'plan for the worst, hope for the best' mindset. I have a lot of friends who would be happy to bring meals for my family. My DH can take care of the rest. Sounds like its a good idea to just ask him to take that first week off and let him play Mr. Mom and nursemaid to me. :-> He doesn't have much more time he can take off than that, though, so hopefully I'll be fairly self-sufficient after the first week.

Toony · 10-16-2009, 03:57 PM

It was a huge concern for me too... my surgery was in WINTER (Wisconsin - think snow), my DH is disabled, and actually ended up in the hospital with a bone infection just days before my surgery... When I did my walking post-op, it was up two flights to visit with him on another ward! so odd!

Due to all of this, I was driving and shoveling (snowblowing) 3 days after my release. Thank GOD everything went so well - and that I'm so tough! My time off work was spent either visiting him in the hosp., or driving him for daily IV infusions... it's a blur...

You really do wonder how you get through some things... this is a mind boggling one for me!

You'll do fine... Plan for the worst, expect the best! Gooooood wishes!

katie

Josephine · 10-17-2009, 12:38 AM

Wow Toony. I can't even imagine how you did that. I was completely exhausted for about the first 10 days.. I'm on day 15 now and it's slowly starting to get better. I've had two walks, a bikeride, and a couple shopping trips and they just totally wear me out. Haven't done any housework yet, but I have been cooking for Rob all last week and finally am able to stand there doing that and tolerate the smells.