I'm so skeptical and worried and angry and...sorry to complain. - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

hihiknez · 10-15-2009, 09:26 PM

Let me first say that I know there are things I have been doing wrong in the past few days. I guess I am feeling kinda angry and in a rut or on a sort of strike. I know- I know- I know I have to stop! I'm angry. My surgery was 9/29. I lost 10 pounds by the follow up appointment 9 days later. That was great! Three days later I had lost another three...the trend was obviously a pound a day. Cool. But then it stopped and then I gained 5 pounds back!

I think I have Edema. Prior to surgery and before I lost the 10% requirement my ankles were always swollen. I always thought it was just fat ankles. But then when I started exercising and losing weight...omg I had small ankles! Now, my ankles are fat again! I know I haven't had a fill yet and so my band restriction is very minimal. I can't wait for the first fill and hope to god it is tight enough to make this fear and anger go away and to make me tight so I feel like I have a tool inside of me. I have willpower but I was looking forward to having a crutch, tool, helping hand a partner in this. There are definetly days that I am tighter than others but for the most part I feel like I can eat anything and like I am just doing the diet thing like when I had to lose that 10%. It's just as hard..almost harder because then I was able to workout hard...now I can only walk. I am so afraid that I am going to get that first fill and nothing will change. I know so many people prefer gastric over the band. But for too many reasons to list here...it is not an option for me. I HAVE to make this band work. I must. I am angry that I have done all of this and I am gaining weight...my ankles are swollen again...I have very little restriction and the people are looking at me as if to say..."see...look at her....she did that WLS and she isnt even losing any weight!" Shoot...I am saying that to myself! I have been feeling depressed and having low self esteem...so...you all know how it goes...less focus...I dont care attitude...eat too much...eat wrong things...I want that feeling where no matter what I eat...good for me....bad for me....I get blocked and am forced to stop. Where is that? Will it really happen like that when I get the fill? Please tell me yes! But....tell me the truth most importantly. I know I have to get refocused and do what I am supposed to be doing but I know that when I do I will be doing it all on my own until I get my fill. And, I have heard that it could take up to three fills for some people to feel tight enough that there was a change! OMG! I feel like there are so few banders on here that I sometimes feel like I am talking to no one-but I know many of you have had the band first and then switched to RNY. Although, it may not be the news I want, I know you have some experiences you can share at least. I have tried to go to other lapband sites and well shucks...I guess I feel comfortable here and don't want to be a quitter since so many of you have been there for me despite my feeling kind of alone at times. Is this just bander PMS!?? Lol! I am sorry to ramble. I really needed to get this off my chest and just couldn't think of anyone better to tell it to. So, thanks for reading and please believe me when I say that despite my sour attitude right now I trully do appreciate all of your continued support. Trully. Thank you TT.

mistymee · 10-15-2009, 09:33 PM

Sweetie, I'm really sorry.. It is late and I'm having trouble reading the whole post due to my eye issues..

I need paragraph breaks due to my eye issues (sorry

)

What I could gleen is that your ankles are swollen and you have edema and are retaining water.

One thing that is totally counter-intuitive is that one good way to help beat the edema is to drink more fluids and try to keep your legs elevated, in between bouts of walking.

I've had edema in the past and the last thing I would've realized is how important it is to keep hydrated to stave off the swelling.

I'll try to read the rest of the post tomorrow, but wanted to get a reply to you asap. {hugs}..

hihiknez · 10-15-2009, 09:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mistymee

Sweetie, I'm really sorry.. It is late and I'm having trouble reading the whole post due to my eye issues..

I need paragraph breaks due to my eye issues (sorry

)

What I could gleen is that your ankles are swollen and you have edema and are retaining water.

One thing that is totally counter-intuitive is that one good way to help beat the edema is to drink more fluids and try to keep your legs elevated, in between bouts of walking.

I've had edema in the past and the last thing I would've realized is how important it is to keep hydrated to stave off the swelling.

I'll try to read the rest of the post tomorrow, but wanted to get a reply to you asap. {hugs}..

Thank you sooo much mistymee. I really appreciate your reply. I know it's lack of water and I haven't been eating right the past two days...that strike thing...I guess. I feel disappointed in myself...which doesn't help with the situation at all. I can do this. I will do this. Just frustrating at times. Tomorrow I am going to fix this dammit!

Diann · 10-15-2009, 10:02 PM

Hi I am sorry sorry to hear that you are discouraged. Holding in fluid is a form of cardiac compensation and it may be protecting your heart and its ability to pump, it is a defense mechanism that the body uses at times. I agree that being active, drinking fluid and elevating your legs will help, so will walking. This should be over soon.

Josephine · 10-15-2009, 10:15 PM

You'll feel better once you hit the sweet spot.. the moment that the band is tight, but not too tight, and you can eat small portions and lose weight and feel good. It'll come around your 2nd or 3rd fill. It's gonna happen for you hon

poet_kelly · 10-16-2009, 09:56 AM

What you're going through seems to be common with people who have the band. They have surgery, they lose a bunch in the first week or so after surgery because they are on such a restricted diet, then they can eat more normally and don't lose. And it's because they haven't had a fill yet and don't have restriction. I know it must be terribly frustrating. But it's normal. Yeah, I said you were normal!

You'll get your fill soon and it will help. I can't say how much. Some people do need a few fills before they get it just right. It seems like the band requires a lot of patience. God knows I am not a patient person!

But look. You chose the band for good reasons. So now you have to work with it and you have to accept the way it works. There are people who do amazingly well with the band. You know Sue? What's her user name, suebry, something like that? I forget exactly how much she's lost. A whole lot. Obviously it's possible to have good success with the band.

If you have edema, that might account for at least some of the five pounds you gained. It's water weight. Call your doctor and ask if you need to do something about it, other than just drink a lot.

Kelly

Band_Groupie · 10-17-2009, 09:17 AM

Sorry, I don't know anything about the edema.

You're going through 'Bandster Hell' right now and I'm surprised you didn't know there would be this period. Even knowing, it's not easy...I think it was harder waiting for restriction after surgery then waiting that whole six months. Patience is important at this point...that and healing. You're stitches holding the band in place take about 6 weeks to heal so you need to be really careful and you're not even a month out yet. Don't worry about the WL yet, just the healing and getting enough fluids in. I think I lost 10 pounds the first week too, but I'd gained about 17 in the hospital from all the IV fluids!

It took me until the 3rd fill to get good restriction that helped and until the 4th to get it perfect. Try not to compare yourself to all our RNY friends on here as you'll never keep up...especially not at the beginning! We LBers are in this for the long haul, but we'll get there too. I'm less than 6 months out and I've lost 65 pounds total (46 since banding)...I'm losing the 'advertised' 1.5-2 pounds a week now, I'm NEVER hungry, I eat a cup per meal and I can still eat anything (no food is completely off limits), I'm not on a DIET. It's working perfectly.

You'll get there too...patience. -BG

PS- You should know that many banders GAIN weight during Bandster Hell, so if you can work to maintain at least then you're doing great...the band isn't helping you at all...yet :-)

hihiknez · 10-19-2009, 01:49 PM

I had a crazy weekend-80 year old lady got evicted from her home and had no one to help her move-and she is a pac-rat at best! Bless her heart-we got her situated and she is in good spirits now-so I haven't been back on her lately-But, in the meantime I lost those gained pounds again and got some exercise in! What you all said really helped me understand and feel like this is normal. I have not wanted something this bad in a really long time! I can't wait for the fill-the perfect one. But I will wait and be very careful in the meantime. Thanks again!

Highlandlass · 10-19-2009, 02:55 PM

One thing I can add is to limit your sodium intake - salt (sodium) hold water in the body. Drink lots of clear fluids, watch the sodium in your foods and liquids, walk a lot more and try to quit beating up on yourself. Your band is not even full, so you won't feel its effects yet. I'm not a bandster, but from what I've been able to read here, you will feel its effects once you get a fill or 2. Stress can also add to your weight gain, so try to destress yourself - those lovely evening walks do it for me! House is on TV tonight - might help destress you too! enjoy.

suebry05 · 10-19-2009, 05:59 PM

if you start swelling again....you may have a sodium issue as Im sure you are probably eating soups still perhaps canned and not homemade? but dont give up on the exercise no matter what- keep getting out there and drink tons of fluids!!!

stay positive...negative energy will get you nowhere- put a smile on everyday and know you are x amount of pounds less that you were a month ago- and that in itself is a huge accomplishment!! be patient girl you have done it- now you gotta work it!!