People getting back into bad habits so close to surgery(rant) - Page 2 - ThinnerTimes

SDphotogrl99 · 05-07-2006, 07:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TypeR0149

hmm, i think you took this way to personal and I am sorry for that, this was never directed toward anyone, more of something that i have seen both on this forum and in my everyday life, more often than not for every 3 success stories i hear there is someone who thought the surgery was a quick fix and did not understand what goes into it and gained back most there weight

This is a open forum that’s why i made the statement, there was absolutely no anger coming from me, just bewilderment, about how some "adults" can make these poor choices and than not understand the consequences of these poor choices

i thought about that when was writing this, that maybe I am not "far enough out" to make any opinionated statement, and then i thought well maybe there are people that agree with me, and i found there are.

Michelle please accept my apology, because honestly i never directed this toward anyone in particular

Regardless of how far out you are you are still right. People who make bad food choices in the first few months most likly will not stick as claose to the plan as they should.

I don't think he was just talking about the popcorn thing. It was just the most recent post about having food that might not be the best choice for us. There were people on that thread who were 1 month out talking about eating movie popcorn......I think that is not right......but that is just the way I feel.

bridgetgirl · 05-08-2006, 08:00 AM

Michelle: I dont think that it was directed at you, I think it wasa general thing. Also, I didnt know you had popcorn recently... until you said what you did in Mikes response.

What I am about to say is not meant for you directly, but I truly feel if people read about someones elese rant and they are angered by it, they have reason to be. For example, if you accuse a liar of lying they become angered. If you accuse a shoplifter of stealing they become ticked off. If you accuse an alcoholic of being one, they laugh in your face and assure you they are not.... if you shot to the universe that you are disgusted with peoples poor food choices and one becomes effected, disturbed or angered by it, then its my feeling its because they should be. Because it made one think that perhaps he/she could be talking about them..... andtook it personally. They internalized the comment because they do in fact make poor food choices.

Its one thing to enjoy "the bad" foods occasionally, its just frustrating when you see people who do it everyday, and are boastful. I dont mind hearing that someone had cheesecake for the first time in a year and it was heaven on earth, but I dont like hearing about them eating cookies EVERYDAY.

People who have the wrong foods everyday, have a problem... and we are here to help. Even if the words arent the ones you want to hear... at least we keep it reAL and dont enable choices.

I like this place and these people, I get PM's telling me Im stubborn and unreasonable.. thats okay. At least I make people think. I have had a friend confront me about a concern for me, I LOVE her more for it! If people dont care about you, they ignore you. If they love and respect you, your gonna hear from them. I wouldnt have it any other way.....

Like I said this post is directed at anyone, not just at you Michelle. Just think, in a couple of months we will be riding Mikes a$$ for something!!!!

MiladyB · 05-08-2006, 08:06 AM

"My name is Beth, and I ate movie popcorn at 1 1/2 months out." Guilty as charged.

With that out in the open, I do have to agree partially with Mike. Was the popcorn the best choice for me? No, it wasn't. Did I investigate the calorie and fat intake before we went out to the movie? Yes, I did. Before I went I looked at how much fat and calories were in the popcorn and I decided that with moderation I could allow myself a cup of popcorn. It was about 60 cal and 3 gms of fat. The best choice? No, but with eating that I made sure that I ate less fat during the day when it came to my daily food choices. Personally, I do think there is a place for moderation. I go to the movies maybe once a year, tops. If I make the decision that moderation is okay for me in that situation, I'm okay with that. I make sure I keep a food diary. I count not only my protein, but also my calories and fat grams. I try to keep to my nutritionists recommendations. I think the important thing is to be accountable for what I eat. This is the time that I have to make changes in order to be successful. One of those changes is to make myself accountable. I am making sure I am knowledgable about what I am putting in my mouth. For me, that is a HUGE change. "Blind" eating was what got me MO in the first place. But, for myself, I also need to be realistic. There may be a day when I don't make the best food choice. Or a day that I make a decision to allow myself something that isn't the best choice, in moderation. There will also be the day or the week that I can't or don't get my exercise in like I should. For me, that is real life and I need to accept that it is and not beat myself up for it. In the past I would do that when I was on a diet. I would beat myself up and talk myself into giving up. I intend on changing that pattern. This is the time to learn and change. Occasionally, the wrong food will go into my mouth. I am not perfect but I plan on being accountable for my imperfection.

april · 05-08-2006, 09:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TypeR0149

sure a year from now i would like to eat normal again, but if you don’t start to break bad habits, and are already justifying treating yourself only a few months after surgery than maybe you need to reevaluate your goals
if I didnt like and respect you all i would keep my mouth shut on this topic

mike

Thank you! I am one of those people who have re-lapsed into my old way of life not so long ago. For almost the entire month of April I was screwing up. It was a downward spiral into hell! I was thinking that hey if this isn't making me sick it must be okay to eat! It was actually scary how easily this was happening, and so soon! I needed to step back and re-evaluate my behavior. I was feeling sh*tty about myself and the scale was moving in the wrong direction! I need to hear things like this from you guys because it helps me reinforce the ideals that will help me succeed. Thank you again for writing this and I will try not to disappoint you guys or myself any more!

cdrsbloved · 05-08-2006, 11:18 AM

I certainly hope NO ONE thought I was bragging when I said I could eat an entire pot pie in 30 minutes, because I was not! I was/am genuinely worried that something is wrong with me!
But anyway, we are all different people with different lives, different backgrounds, etc. What works for one person on here, might be totally wrong for someone else on here! As far as I know, no one here posting is a doctor and so therefor all medical advice should be taken as just an OPINION, not an absolute medical fact. If people fall off track (as every person on here WILL-we are human and not perfect!) it doesn't mean they will continue to live that way the rest of their life! We all make many mistakes on our journey through life. I mean, for instance, I know for a fact my surgery clinic specifically told people in NO way to get pregnant for at least 2 years post-op, yet I'm sure people in this forum have, haven't they? Not that pregnancy is a mistake, but you get what I'm saying....sometimes people as humans don't always do everything they are told to do. Have I cheated? Yep. BUT instead of eating a pound of this or gallons of that, or a whole bag of this AND that, the amount is much much smaller and my choices are a whole lot better for me than the life I was leading PRE-OP....

april · 05-08-2006, 11:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cdrsbloved

I certainly hope NO ONE thought I was bragging when I said I could eat an entire pot pie in 30 minutes, because I was not! I was/am genuinely worried that something is wrong with me!
.

I feel you! Sometimes I eat things and think this can't be normal! And then I worry that something is wrong. Talking about how much you can eat isn't bragging its a concern.

Dyann · 05-08-2006, 12:17 PM

Reading these posts, I am looking at the bag of beef jerky to my right for my planned snack. I thought I took one piece too many and feel so guilty. My approach has been from the start...stay away from the danger foods...no moderation...stay away...they are "gateway drugs" to the dark side. No "P" foods in any amount, peanuts, popcorn, pretzels, potato, potato chips at all. I know what made me fat and I don't want to risk it at all. But that is my method and may not work for the next person.

I think we need to be aware of something here. Just like at an AA meeting if someone falls off the wagon, this needs to be an arena for people to come clean and set them back on the right path. There are different ways to do that and such a level of tough love may just scare them off to where they don't admit it and go further down that bad road. A practical approach, not enabling and not belittling or in your face is what I have found to be most successful when trying to help someone change a bad behavior. We are all different personalities here. I have just seen lately some sort of division occuring and it sometimes degenerates into a high school cafeteria with the bullies on one side and the quiet ones on the other.

You can serve the most delicious meal and present it well and it is devoured, but present it on a garbage can lid and no one wants anything to do with it. Sometimes advice, no matter how well intentioned, is being served on a garbage can lid. You can't fault people for not heeding a warning when it is served so distatefully.

Laura@BellaBabies · 05-08-2006, 12:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TypeR0149

Please take everything I say hear with a grain of salt, im just venting and trying to help, this by no means is directed at anyone, it is just a general overview of some people I have seen not all just some.

a lot of people are eating popcorn, fatty carbs, and other junk after only being a month or 2 out I find that amazing, i mean not to nit pick, but I thought we had this surgery to help ourselves and the people that eat this way so soon after WLS have got to have a much higher failure rate. I guess some people just take this more seriously than others, actually maybe thats the wrong way to word it, some people are more determined than others.

we are going to lose weight now no matter what we eat, this is the honeymoon period and we have little to no physical hunger right now, so this is when we should be breaking our bad habits

and again im not trying to step on anyone’s toes, i just call it like I see it. We all have cravings thats natural but acting on it so close to surgery is just weak willed to me. sorry if i am out of place, i just try so hard to stick to the doctor diet exactly, and when i cheat its because I have some propel that has 2g of sugar not a popcorn at the movie. listening to your story's about how you already eating crap again only a few months after surgery has got to make it hard for myself and other people that read it to stay positive and focused on there goal. this is got to be why some people are at there goal in 14 months and others never come withen 30lbs of the goal

sure a year from now i would like to eat normal again, but if you don’t start to break bad habits, and are already justifying treating yourself only a few months after surgery than maybe you need to reevaluate your goals

again I am just trying to understand this, maybe I am toataly in the wrong and we can eat crap, get in bad old habits and wind up at our goal living happy ever after

everyone on hear is great you all have been the best support group i could of ever asked for, and if I didnt like and respect you all i would keep my mouth shut on this topic

mike

I agree with you 110% I made a similar post when I was 3 months out.
I have to ask WHY?????

april · 05-08-2006, 12:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dyann

Reading these posts, I am looking at the bag of beef jerky to my right for my planned snack. I thought I took one piece too many and feel so guilty. My approach has been from the start...stay away from the danger foods...no moderation...stay away...they are "gateway drugs" to the dark side. No "P" foods in any amount, peanuts, popcorn, pretzels, potato, potato chips at all. I know what made me fat and I don't want to risk it at all. But that is my method and may not work for the next person.

I think we need to be aware of something here. Just like at an AA meeting if someone falls off the wagon, this needs to be an arena for people to come clean and set them back on the right path. There are different ways to do that and such a level of tough love may just scare them off to where they don't admit it and go further down that bad road. A practical approach, not enabling and not belittling or in your face is what I have found to be most successful when trying to help someone change a bad behavior. We are all different personalities here. I have just seen lately some sort of division occuring and it sometimes degenerates into a high school cafeteria with the bullies on one side and the quiet ones on the other.

You can serve the most delicious meal and present it well and it is devoured, but present it on a garbage can lid and no one wants anything to do with it. Sometimes advice, no matter how well intentioned, is being served on a garbage can lid. You can't fault people for not heeding a warning when it is served so distatefully.

I need the Tough Love! I literally need someone to grab me and yell in my face before I will stop! I tend to function better when the feelings and concerns of other people (you guys) are at stake not just myself. I need you guys to do that for me and this post is a great wake up call for me!

Gladitsme · 05-08-2006, 12:34 PM

Mike, I resemble your remarks! For me the truth hurts. I've always been an emotional eater, and I've learned how to overeat even with the surgery. I wish I hadn't, I wish I'd never eaten sugar, but I have. With that said, I want to get on track and treat my body better. I am aware that I have to work on my brain in order to be able to lose the rest of my weight. Sometimes I need the tough love, sometimes I need it soft and gentle. What I appreciate about this forum is that I can take what I need, and leave the rest.