Wanted/Unwanted Attention - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

larryduran2000 · 12-19-2005, 03:00 PM

Wow, what a difference 70 lbs makes. I am currently at 225 and I have been lifting like crazy. Problem is I am really starting to get hit on. This feels good yet at the same time uncomfortable because I am married. I am not used to receiving this kind of attention, but its hard not to be tempted? God that is so bad, has anyone gone through this?

Bypassingme619 · 12-19-2005, 03:15 PM

Larry I love my husband. I feel a tad bit uncomfortable if we are out in public and guys will keep looking at my butt or flirting. But the funny thing is he enjoys the attention other men give me. He thanks it is funny to see my reaction to it all. I say enjoy the attention let that be some of your motivation(as far as the progress you are making) just always remember who has been there for you through thick and thin. I think in time you will find your own comfort in it all. It all is so new and it has happen so fast.

Alleusion · 12-19-2005, 06:36 PM

My husband always said he didn't mind where my appetite came from, as long as I came home for dinner - in regards to flirtation and admiration. Humans were not originally wired to be with one person (thanks discovery channel shows on cavemen and tribe societies), so it's healthy and it's natural to be attracted to others. Remind yourself that they only see in you what your wife does. I don't think I need to go into whether or not you should act on it.

cpcmom · 12-19-2005, 09:49 PM

I understand totally I weighted 281 before my surgery and now I weigh 199 and there are guys we have been friends with for a long time starting to pay me attention. I get very upset because I am the same person on the inside. I dont understand why weight matters so much. Yes I do sometimes like the attention but then it make me think they are just talking to me because they dont know what I used to be like.

eli_far77 · 12-19-2005, 10:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by larryduran2000

Wow, what a difference 70 lbs makes. I am currently at 225 and I have been lifting like crazy. Problem is I am really starting to get hit on. This feels good yet at the same time uncomfortable because I am married. I am not used to receiving this kind of attention, but its hard not to be tempted? God that is so bad, has anyone gone through this?

Larry, have you talked to your wife about this? OR does she know about the attention you've been receiving lately? Even though I am pre-op, this was one of the issues we talked about at my psych. evaluation. The therapist said that it was important to talk to your spouse about this and to have communication. Maybe if you spoke to your wife about it you wouldn't feel so tempted? These women didn't know you before 70lbs, doesn't it make you a tad upset to know how superficial these woman really are, unlike your wife who loved you before the -70lbs. Just my thought on it.

larryduran2000 · 12-20-2005, 06:51 PM

I think tempted is the wrong word to use. I would never cheat on my wife, I just meant it felt good. I am sure we have all wondered what it would be like. I love my wife too much too ever hurt her that way. I have spoken to her about the attention and she knows I would never cheat. It is just different having that kind of attention. I always thought I was cute, although I don't suffer from too much vanity, just good self esteem. I was just seeing how other people dealt with the attention. If I was single it would be a totally different story though. I wonder if the term Man Whore would fit?

12-20-2005, 10:05 PM

Larry,
I know what you mean, we used to be safe in our fat suit. Keep in mind that you are a faithful husband and yet you can still get a kick out of the others being attracted to you.
It is fun and harmless if you consider it for what it is.

God gave us eyes to look and a brain to make choices.

It sounds to me that an adjustment is all you need in this new found glares and then you will feel confident that you will always make a good choice in your relationship.
If your wife is like my husband, she will enjoy your new confidence and reap the benifits the most from how much better you feel. She will also understand how you feel and let you do a little harmless flirting as long as you know how far to go...not too!!!

By the way, my husband was raised in Worland, Wy.

Have fun in your new body, it only gets better!!!

Rain