Thursday group support meeting.... for post ops only? - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

sandi · 08-17-2004, 07:55 PM

I may open up a can of worms here, but, I feel like I need to say something...
The third Thursday group support meeting has been told to me, by the office and by several older posties that it is for "post ops only"...
Since January I have begged to go to this meeting, but was told, "no, you're a pre-op, you can't go".... This USED to be a meeting for all, but, when it got too large and there were post ops being turned away, the staff changed the status of the meeting and made it for post ops only. The information on the website still says the same, that it's for all, but, if those wondering will call the office, perhaps it's been changed again, I don't know, I just know that I'd hate to go this Thursday, after waiting all these months and this being my first post op meeting to be able to go, and be turned away because there wasn't enough room. I've also been told that there are things that are discussed about issues that post ops have that may particularly cause preops some stress, that again, I don't know...
Please know that I don't want to keep any one away from support that they may need, but, I think it would be very unfair, for those of us, and there are more than myself, who were turned away as pre-ops and now, all of a sudden pre-ops are allowed to go. There IS a group meeting just FOR pre-ops, the first Thursday of the month and there are topics discussed just for them.
I'm sorry if this causes anyone to be hurt or be angry, thats not my intention at all, I'm just standing up for myself and the others who WERE turned away, now it's OUR turn to be a part of this meeting, "by rights"....

mybushabear · 08-17-2004, 08:22 PM

Hi Sandi
I was told to go to the last meeting. It was one meeting that I must attend, the other being the nutrition class. Yes, it was very crowded but it was my impression that we are to ask questions, good or bad no matter what. I have felt that Dr. Potts and I'm quite sure Dr. Callery want us to know everything we can learn about the surgery.
I haven't heard of a calls just for us pre-ops. If there is one, I probably would go to that one also. Whatever we can learn to get our questions asked I think is a good idea. I was going to call the office tomorrow on another matter so I think I will ask. I don't think you opened any can of worms, you, like me, just want to know what's going on.
Cindy

sandi · 08-17-2004, 08:37 PM

Pre-Op Education and Support Group - Poway
Who: Pre-Op Patients and Post-Op Mentors
Where: Our Poway Office
When: First Thursday of every month; 6:00 - 7:30 PM

Pre-Op education support group is a chance for pre-op patients to meet with patients who have had gastric bypass and who are willing to share their experiences and advice. This group is a great way for new patients to meet others, ask questions, and share their hopes and concerns.

I'm glad you're going to call the office tomorrow Cindy, maybe you can find out something. Perhaps they've changed the status of the 3rd Thursday "post op" meeting...
Let us all know, will you ?
Thanks SO much!!!

Blueyz · 08-17-2004, 08:50 PM

I tried to go to a post-op meeting when I was a pre-op and the office told me absolutely not.

I felt bad, but understood there was a reason why there are 2 separate meetings. Post-op meetings and pre-op meetings are different and I see why they make them separate. At post-op meetings, different issues are discussed and a lot of the content may scare pre-ops. I know I would've been a little frightened if I attended a post-op meeting before my surgery and I am glad Alicia told me NO! I don't mean to sound rude or hurt anyone's feelings, but I did not see this until after I had the surgery and attended a post-op meeting. The time and space is very limited and like Sandi said, it would not be fair to not have a space to sit and not be able to discuss the many concerns that we are going through. I hope that I don't offend any pre-ops because that is not my intention. I just agree with Sandi and see that the meetings are geared for certain issues and are different for pre-ops and post-ops.
Please, if you are a pre-op attend the pre-op meetings. You will have plenty of time for the post-op meetings after surgery. At times, there are a few post-ops who attend pre-op meetings to answer any questions and that is very informative.

bridgetgirl · 08-18-2004, 12:08 PM

If the website says for anybody, then those who dont check into this forum will go anyway. Why turn away our friends that are active here? I guess you could " 'play ignorance' and say you never saw this post but the website says are all welcome....." see how this wont fly... perhaps at the meeting before it begins you could suggest to Dr. C or whoever is holding the meeting to announce that if you are a pre op, ask them to stand and allow the post ops first seating..... but then again, you cant tell just by looking at people who is preop or post op.. we only know a very small number of those who are pre ops....
Suggesting that someone may hear something that "scares" them from a post op.. whats wrong with that? Alot of people go into this surgery really believing "its magic" and "the easy way to lose weight" as post ops we know its not. The east county meeting was open and thats where alot of preops got educated about their choice to have the surgery... you know who you guys are..... stop already with discriminating those who are pre ops and stop feeling privileged and let people come if they want. But again, I would ask... if you are a preop and plan on attending, allow post ops first seating and please stand until the meeting begins.. then have a seat if there is room to do so. I for one will stand if I have to, to let more people in who need the support. It stinks because the east county group has not taken off yet and this is all we have now. Just my 2 cents.

Blueyz · 08-18-2004, 12:24 PM

"stop feeling privileged and let people come if they want" is not how I feel at all about this subject. I do not feel privileged about being post-op at all. I was stating a fact that I was not allowed to go and many post-ops told me I couldn't go. Alicia told me I couldn't go and reasons why were space availability and subject content. So, I was just stating what I was told. I would never like somone to think that "I feel privileged to be post-op"

sandi · 08-18-2004, 01:28 PM

That word really irritates me!!! I'd say the ones who have been being turned away from this meeting because we WERE preops were being discriminated against, and now we are the POST OPS who this meeting has been SAID was for, NOT by us, but by the office, and OTHER post ops who are WAY farther out than just a few months or even this year, those same post ops came right out and said to me, "sorry Sandi, you're welcome to come to Outback and chat and eat with us after, but the meeting is for POST OPS only, because of not having enough room to accomodate everyone, you'll be a post op soon, then you can come!" How do you think that made me feel.... discriminated against!!! YES!
And, the East County support group was NOT open to all, it was for POST OPS ONLY, the only reason my husband and I went there was because it was very obviously blessed with LOTS of room, and its MUCH easier to go a few miles, than the 45 minutes it takes to get to Poway, but I see that it's been removed completely from the list of support group meetings entirely, and that the meeting being referred to as "Thursday's Post Op Group Support" is now open to all, so, I can only assume that things have changed and that all are welcome now, I guess that would be a first come first seated basis.....

I just knew when I started this thread yesterday that it would open a can of worms as I said, and I'm sorry for that, I never had any intention of this occuring, this really makes me feel bad, it makes me feel like I've hurt others feelings and gotten my own hurt as well....
I've waited since January to go this meeting as a true "post op", because I was told to wait, now I feel like I'm really not welcome because I'm "discriminating" against others...... of which I'm not!!!
Enjoy the meeting....

sandi · 08-18-2004, 01:34 PM

And by the way, I DO feel priviledged to be a post op!!! I made it through the year long process of getting approval for surgery, I LIVED through surgery, and that does make me privileded!!

pambragg · 08-18-2004, 01:47 PM

I think this whole thing should be discussed tomorrow night with everyone present and see if we can get a clarification on what meetings are open to whom, since it sounds like current policy is now in question.

Blueyz · 08-18-2004, 02:13 PM

I feel the same way Sandi does about being discriminated against except for she is able to say it in words better than me. I, too have no intention of hurting anyone's feelings. When she started this thread, she may have opened a can of worms, but at least she is stating how she feels. By discussing this issue, maybe we can all resolve it together.