Bad day Friday and still upset - ThinnerTimes

Laura@BellaBabies · 11-07-2005, 09:41 AM

Ok I know I am probably wallowing in it and part of it is hormonal but dammit I am sad. My biggest fear as being MO was that my children would be made fun of for having a fat Mom. Well on Friday that fear became my reality.

Friday was my oldest's birthday. So I went to his class in the afternoon. I made brownies for the class and goodie bags so all can share in his day with him. Not 2 seconds after I walked in one of the kids said to another."is that Robbies Mom she is FAT!" OMGosh I could not believe it. This only a few hours after I found out I had finally gotten out of the three's and was walking on air. Talk about a crash landing.

One of the other children who I do know said to this child that it was not nice to say mean things about other peoples Mom's. I did not make a big deal about it because my son did not hear what was said and I did not want to upset him. So I drove home and cried. I have been debating about writing the teacher a note and telling her what happend so she can address the issue. I was going to call the parents but I am not one for confrontation. Thanks for any advice sorry this is so long.

coptergirl · 11-07-2005, 09:48 AM

I am so sorry you had to experience that, Laura! Sometimes kids can be mean without even realizing it. I just pray that your excitement about being out of the three's (you go, girl!!!!!!!!!!!) would just become more excitement as you continue on the downward spiral. Just think...next year this time when you bring brownies and goodies for your kid's birthday, the meanie will be speechless at how gorgeously thin you are.

Don't let others sqaush your joy. You have so much to be proud of...and all of us here are so proud of you too!!!!

Baron Patrick · 11-07-2005, 09:52 AM

I'm so sorry to heat what happened. You gotta remember the source of the comment. Kids are brutal, period. What the child said was most likely what the parents think and have said as well. They are walking recorders, remembering and repeating everything that is said. More times than not, they don't even realize what they are saying, much less realizing what they say is rude, crude and totally unacceptable.

Please don't let this get you down. You come a long way, and have every right to be proud of yourself. Me, I would write a letter telling the teacher what happened and suggest an "intervention" of sorts talking about obese people.

Or, you could have talked to the kid at their level "I may be fat, but your ugly and I can diet." (sorry, couldn't help that one!

In all seriousness, I would take some sort of action that will help educate. Perhaps you could have the teacher invite you in to talk about it?

Whatever you do, don't let it get to you. You've come way to far now! Get yourself around some positive people, and use positive self-talk!

Gladitsme · 11-07-2005, 09:53 AM

Laura,

It might be good to talk to the kid's parents. I'd want to know if my boy said something like that so I could deal with him. I'm so sorry you were hurt though. As far as I'm concerned, you're a wonderful, loving, caring, terrific person who shines on this forum.

bridgetgirl · 11-07-2005, 09:58 AM

Wow hunny bunny, that hurts my heart.

Remember you cant please all the people all the time. Dont let some child determine your self worth, you are doing a bang up job! I thinking asking the teacher to talk to the child is appropriate, letting him/her know that those kind of outburts are not acceptable- i would avoid the parents you know the old saying "The apple doesnt fall from the tree." I confronted a mom whose kids stole my kids scooters off my front porch and we almost had a drag out fight-she was justifying why they did it and why it was ok.. I should have them in the house.... I said your kids shouldnt take things they dont belong to them no matter where they are..... like I said, we almost had a drag out fight (I was ready to throw down even with a pique line, 4 weeks post op and TPN bag drapped on my back!)

Like Baron said, perhaps you could be a guest speaker in the classroom or an assemby even to discuss acceptance, perhaps you could find a handicapped person as well. Its a good thought! Best wishes darlin!

Alleusion · 11-07-2005, 10:10 AM

Laura, that makes me want to cry as well. I remember my mom being heavy and one kid asked her if she was pregnant once. I guess I was too little to understand that this was said and interpreted as a mean comment. My mom's weight never bothered me. I loved her for who she was, not what she looked like. My sister once told me that a friend of hers saw our mother and asked her if that was her mom, my sister was ashamed and said it was her aunt. I agree with Patrick in that kids are cruel. But, I remember someone saying somewhere else (sorry pain meds are kicking in and I'm fuzzy) that it depends on how you take it. You've come so far hun that pride in yourself is all you need now. Now, if the kid had said "haha that kid's mom is fat", I'd have probably gone off on him, then gone home and cried.

I'm rambling now I think. Anyways, I'd talk to the teacher. Let him / her know that this was said and was hurtful. Perhaps, they could work in a lesson on hurtful comments in general.

*squish*

Americanwoman397 · 11-07-2005, 10:17 AM

You know I'm not a mom myself but I kind of dealt with that as a sister. My dad at 40 something decided to marry a 29 year old woman who had 3 girls before him and then they had a little boy. My step mom and I were both very heavy and had surgery about a month apart. Anyway my little sisters are 10, 7 and 5 wow how time flies. I went to a softball game of the 10 year old but I think she was 9 at the time. A saw a little girl point at me becaue I was trying to run and play with the girls. Well a year later at 130lbs lighter I went back and did the same thing well needless to say that little girl was playing with us and she didn't even remember who I was. My little sister said you remember my big sister Tonya and she said no. I laughed all the way home that day. You know kids are very honest and it's never easy when they are but just remember they are kids. You can't hold it against them because it is up to the parents to let them know it is not nice to make fun of anyone and even then kids do things and don't think twice about it.
You remember what you are doing and how hard you are working and next year you will be able to go in do the same thing and no one will even rememeber who you are. A big hug to you.

Brooke220 · 11-07-2005, 10:30 AM

Laura,

I hurt so bad for you when I read that post -- but I don't think it's necessary to say anything. Consider the source. Just keep on taking care of yourself, and lookiung forward to your healthy future.

Bypassingme619 · 11-07-2005, 11:15 AM

Laura please don't let that take your joy away from what you have worked so hard for. I always say it starts at home. Maybe someone should be involved because if the child is not told this is a no no they will grow thinking that is OK and it is not. Sweety Biggest hug I can give via internet. Smile you are beautiful.

Laura@BellaBabies · 11-07-2005, 11:39 AM

Thank you so much everyone for your support. I did write the teacher a note and expressed my hurt and I suggested maybe a lesson on peoples feelings and how when we say something it may hurt them. I will let her address the child and his parents as I am trying to stay calm right now and I am sure if I were to call them they would take the offensive.

Baron, you sooooooooooo bad! hehe if the setting was different I would have probably said something to that effect to him.

I know my kids are so proud of me they tell me all the time that I look so good. My middle guy even told me I look 19 lol. I don't think so but the compliment was from his heart and that is all that matters. My hubby calls me the incredible shrinking woman and my parents and brother can not believe the transformation every time they see me, even though it is quite often as we share a mother daughter house. I am not going to let some little snot steal my joy and I am done wallowing in it!