Idiot "Friend" - ThinnerTimes

remaininlite · 10-30-2005, 01:30 PM

So, since I came home from the surgery, I've received calls and visits from some friends and what they've had to say has been really encouraging and positive...until yesterday.

This person, I in no way consider a best friend, but he is still a friend. He has never been the sharpest tool in the shed, and he makes himself really awkward to hang out with. Truly an odd person. He called to ask if he could come visit me, which I thought was a nice gesture, so despite the fact that I wasn't feeling that great, I told him to come on over. I found it funny that before we got off the phone, he said "I'm gonna eat lunch right now, and I'll be over".

When he came over and I greeted him at the door, he (without the slightest bit of humor in his tone) said "Well, you don't look any different". Yeah, very encouraging. He then began to bring a Blow Pop out of his pocket and started to eat it. I told myself I was not going to be weird about people eating in front of me - and a sucker is no big deal at all - but it was weird.

After I told him about how my eating habits would be different after the surgery, he said with a laugh, "I'd never get that surgery - I have to gobble food".

I then told him that I am not really hungry, as the broth and popsicles hold me over, but if I see food, I will crave it. He then said "my mom's making steak sandwiches right now - you like steak sandwiches"?

...then later...

"I just had clam chowder before I came over. Do you like clam chowder" And aside from being a moron, he simply does not listen. I had to go down the list of what I'm allowed to have right now three times, because he continually asked "so what can you have right now?" And ""So you're never going to be able to eat like a normal person"? was repeated many times throughout the conversation.

Maybe I'm being a bit sensitive about this whole thing. But it seems really hard to endure a conversation with someone who is being so rude and so negative about the whole thing. I appreciate the fact that he made the time to visit, but I truly wish he would have never came over, because after he left I felt like shit.

Just needed to vent.

Dara · 10-30-2005, 01:41 PM

Jared:

You know the old saying, right? With friends like that...who needs enemies! Not only was that guy NOT a friend, he's simply an idiot. Jared, please surround yourself with people who will comfort, support and encourage you. You don't need or deserve negativity or rudeness.

So your "friend" visited you. Now you know how he will act in the future, so avoid him. After a few times of "No, sorry I don't have time," he'll get the hint.

Focus on yourself right now, not what other jackasses have to say. You've just had major surgery and need to heal and recuperate. Keep positive vibes in your head at all times. This is the beginning of your new life! Best wishes. We're here for you!

LizardQueen · 10-30-2005, 03:21 PM

it's a shame that stupidity isn't a felony and punishable by life w/o parole. We just got to live with the idiots in the world. You are healing and don't need any negative energy around you at this stage in the game. Blow the guy off as often as possible. Try to surround yourself with nothing but positive people for now. You'll have time to deal with dumb asses like him later! Sorry you had to have such a negative experience already, but there will probably be more to come! Hang in there, Buddy! We are here for you!

sbjim5755 · 10-30-2005, 03:23 PM

Jared,

Don't listen to your "friend". He sounds like an insensitive moron. Just stick to the plan and in no time you will be able to eat most anything...just healthier and in smaller portions. It's moments like these that make you cherish the real friend that you have that are supportive. Your doing great...keep up the good work!!!!

Jim

Bypassingme619 · 10-30-2005, 03:53 PM

Jared you are not being sensitive. You "friend" needs some home trainning. I commend you for keeping your composure during his visit. Jared you will find that you will come across a few people who will test you. Stay focused, if that means keeping certain people out of your space then so be it. This is about you, and just like your other friends that have respected you so does he. I would also run it across your friend about his visit, let him know how his visit made you feel. We are proud of you Jared. Big Hug.

sUzYzPLaCe · 10-30-2005, 03:53 PM

Hey with friends like that who the hell needs enemies! And I'd be dropping him like a bad habit! Just my two cents. Suzy

remaininlite · 10-30-2005, 04:32 PM

Thanks for the encouragment, everyone. I guess that's exactly what this place is for.

It's funny because this guy claims to be a devout Christian and I expected some real inspirational things to come from him. Guess not.

When I reach my first big milestone, he will definitely be on the list of people I'll call to share my accomplishment.

Peckkale · 10-30-2005, 04:39 PM

Hang in there Jared. In a few short months your "Friend" won't recognize you in the street.

Dyann · 10-30-2005, 07:51 PM

Was he trying to antagonize you or is it possible that he is actually that stupid and insensitive. Do you go to a friends house who recently quit smoking and light up right in front of him???

Look at it as a test and you passed. Don't waste your breath explaining all the nuances about your diet restrictions. I think they are wasted on him and it will just get you worked up. From what I have read here, there will be friends who will support you and ones who try to sabotage you. You will need to sort out the details after all the drugs are out of your system a little longer and figure out which one he is.

Congrats on your efforts so far. I admire your strength and reserve. I would have kicked him out!!!

Qweets · 10-31-2005, 12:43 AM

That guy sounds like one of those "friends" that just allways annoyed you but other people youve hung around with were good friends with them so you kinda had to hang out with them... i know a co uple people like that good thing they don't know where i live lol... Sorry you had to go through that allready somtimes people are just asses... but you will miss food quite a bit once your out a little more you'll be kickin back watchin TV and see your favorite fast food resteraunt commercial over and over it just gets to you.. im a little over a month out and im still dealing with it.. it sucks.... but its for the best man think of it that way.. ive lost over 60lb's in a month allready it feels good.. Hang in there bro