Bad Day! - ThinnerTimes

Kelly · 10-11-2005, 10:51 PM

I just have to cry a little, ok a lot.

Bad day for me. I have been depressed for a few days now, nothing new for me. Looking in the mirror and seeing that same FAT person. Just because I have put on 4 lbs, maybe even 6, I feel like giving up. I feel like I have gained back a few lbs. I will probably gain it all back. I am so depressed I want to quit! I know this is not what some newby's want to hear, but this is the truth about what some people go through post op. I was always warned of this happening but never believed it would. After all, I am suppose to be happy i've lost 50 -60 lbs, right, well wronge!
I am was trying to make it to tomorrows support meeting but my son's have soccer practice at 5:30 - 6:30 and I hate leaving early. We missed last week so I do not want to miss this week.

I hope these sad and hopeless feelings go away. I do not want to call my psychiatrist because I am tired of taking medication. I am bypolar and tired of trying new meds. Plus, she said if things get bad she will have to admit me for half - full day support meetings at the hospital. Just so you know, I am not suisidel (can't think straight, spelling is probably wronge!). This is not what I want my family to hear.

Also, last week my cat got half eaten by the dog accross the street, and I miss her. I have bought a new kitten, but not the same.

Ok I'm done! Thanks for listening.

Dyann · 10-12-2005, 05:47 AM

With each day, comes a new challenge. Look what you have accomplished. It is very normal to plateau or gain a little. It is not a straight line down. Remember what you have learned to make you successful to this point and keep on truckin.... You can do it. Maybe it is just post partum depression with the new kitty??? (Did I get you to smile??)

((((((HUGS)))))))

Ann N · 10-12-2005, 08:01 AM

Hi,

I was so sorry to hear that you are feeling so sad and depressed. So sorry about your little kitty!

You have been so successful with your weight loss. It is normal to have periods when we go off track a little bit, but you have a tool to get back on track and you CAN do it!

I am concerned about your depression - maybe calling your psychiatrist would be a good idea. I know that the side effects from the meds are no picnic but it may be better than what you are feeling right now. And support groups may be a blessing when you feel this way!

Thanks for reaching out into the forum. Please take good care of yourself!

Ann

Bypassingme619 · 10-12-2005, 08:12 AM

Kelly I commend you for being able to come out and share what is going on with you. Only being a couple months post-op I have them days where I feel like I am staring at the same fat girl but in my heart I know I have lost weight. I look at pictures, I try on old clothes and people around me(my family) always tell me how much weight I have lost. I have had a back slide when I was barely 4 weeks post-op so I know how you feel. I felt like this isn't going to work. I am going to gain all this weight back. This is a very unhealthy way of thinking. I know it is easier said then done but try and change some of your frame of thinking. Sit down and take out some old pics of you and get some news ones of you now and see the difference. I honestly believe you contacting your Psychiatrist is a good choice. Please know you are not alone. Big Hugs to you sweety.

jlcsmokey · 10-12-2005, 08:32 AM

Kelly, I know you don't want to call your psychiatrist because of the fear of being admitted, but you do have to call them. I have friends that have the same disorder as you and you add a complication with having had the WLS, so it is very important that you keep on top of your emotions for your own well being as well as your boys and family. Call the dr for them instead of you!

I think the cycles of depression come with the time of year, and I am sure San Diego's weather is pretty steady, but the calendar still changes and with the stress of your boys back to school and just normal fall activities. Just be glad you are not in the Boston this week. It has been raining since last Friday and is scheduled to continue raining through the weekend. I have been a bit depressed since the change in the seaon and attempting to date again, even though I have only lost 48lbs, dating is still hard.

Kelly I highly recommend calling the dr. The affects of new meds will be a greater benefit to you than the side effects may bring. Good luck I know you will succeed!

LizardQueen · 10-12-2005, 09:06 AM

Kelly, I'm so sorry you are feeling so bad. Please call your doc. I know from years of experience how hard it is to have your meds switched but they may very well be what you need. I'm sorry about your kitty! Those little furry critters get to be like members of the family and it is so hard to lose one. Try to spend some quality time bonding with your new one. I know it's not the same, but this one will find it's place in your family too. I hope today goes great for you! YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE! YOU ARE A TERRIFIC PERSON AND YOU ARE DOING GREAT!

Gladitsme · 10-12-2005, 10:20 AM

Kelly,

Even if you come late, come tonight! I'm so very sorry about your kitty. It's starting to get dark earlier, and it's chillier than it's been, so I imagine your mood is dropping from that too. I agree with those who said to call your psychiatrist -- you never know, maybe a day program would really help for a while. We care about you, and want you to succeed. You CAN do this, and we'll help all we can. Hugs!

Kelly · 10-12-2005, 02:15 PM

Thanks for the support. Today is better. This is funny...I'm going on Starbucks website to find out how many calories the white mochas are, then I will paste it to one of my "fat" pictures and keep it with me, I will also keep a resent picture.

Jeanie · 10-12-2005, 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kelly

Thanks for the support. Today is better. This is funny...I'm going on Starbucks website to find out how many calories the white mochas are, then I will paste it to one of my "fat" pictures and keep it with me, I will also keep a resent picture.

I had to do the same thing. I took an old picture of me cut it out put it on the fridge with the saying Nothing Taste as Good as Thin Feels. The sign is huge, just like I was

and in the middle of the fridge right at eye level. Just to remind myself where I've been.

TabFox · 10-12-2005, 09:45 PM

I'm sorry you're feeling bummed out. Trust me, we all go through it to some extent. Also, it's very normal to gain a few lbs. here and there. Most likely, it's fluid retention, or even (not to be graphic) but you might need a really good bowel movement. Don't rely on the scale, trust the tape measure and how your clothes fit. I know each month around that time, I always pack on about 7 lbs. or so...and then it comes right back off. During that time, I still do the "oh darn, I'm fat again and I'm going to gain it all back." My husband then hides the scale from me until I stop being so obsessive. I would definitely do the support group thing, or even talk to a supportive friend. Sometimes just venting helps alot..and remember we're here for you also.