My first trip to the Mall........pass the food court! - ThinnerTimes

NYNMD · 08-19-2005, 05:06 AM

I thougt I was going to die. It was such a surreal feeling. Watching all the people eating normally (what is normal anyway). All the different variety of foods and all the overweight people that was infront of a fully loaded american meal.

I felt lonely, depressed, and sad. I can never eat that much anymore, I will never get overjoyed at the thought of getting Ms. Smith's chocolate chip cookies or going to a buffet and having 2 plates of food. Going out to dinner will never..ever be the same. I'm mourning the lost of food. The joy that it gave me, after shopping all day and knowing my treat was a big plate of food. No more humming while I ate, in shear enjoyment of stuffing my face w/ my first love......food.

Damn, this is hard. I went to the mall just for vitamins and protein powder. The power was nasty and I burped up the crushed iron all night. That was my reward for a trip to the mall. I drove around for 30 min. feeling sorry for myself. As I drove, McDonalds, Taco Bell, Burger King, Dynasty Chinese Food, Philips Pub, Seafood delight, and Advance Auto Parts. Not sure why I remembered Advanced Auto Parts. But, I did!!! I feel like I'm in for an oil change and almost three weeks ago I had a part returned. My stomach. I gave up my stomach and lost my favorite friend. Now I have to find a new friend. It's not easy at 39 years old and being overweight for most of my life. I'm crying now, only because I am mourning. What do I do? Protein and vitamines has never been my friend. How can I pretend to have them as friends.

I'm sad right now.

watergirl · 08-19-2005, 06:06 AM

I'm so sorry you're having these feelings. It happens to most of us. But the same food you are mourning is the same food that made you MO. I hope you find it gets easier for you the further out you are.

I'm sending ((((((((((HUGS)))))))))) your way.

BethBaugh · 08-19-2005, 06:12 AM

Hello, I had surgery on 8-1-05 too, here in Chattanooga, Tennessee.

I'm just now beginning to feel what your feeling. I used to go out with my husband twice a month to a nice restuarant. I used to go to food when I had a bad day. Now I clean and clean. I feel a bit down when I sit in front of the TV at night with no snack.

Hopefully, just realizing that we are feeling this, is a step in the right direction. I have already begun to realize that I am not hungry just because I'm salivating over some food I smell or see. So long term, we're doing this to be healthy and make healthy choices. We didn't have this tool before. Now we do, but one things for sure, It is NOT the easy way out.

VanessaSFL · 08-19-2005, 06:14 AM

Kim..I am almost 5 months out and I am still in a loss phase.I miss the smells,the texture,the social piece of eating.I watch all my employees eat...philly cheese steaks...huge salads.....chinese foods...all from the food court.I sit in my office with my LOW CARB slim fast meal drink.i don't even bring food to work from home because I don't know what will make me sick.

I feel ya and your not alone~

Van

*What really upsets me ..I can't even eat healthly foods ...salad...veggies..they hurt my pouch.

katlover66 · 08-19-2005, 06:22 AM

Kimmy,
I understand how you are feeling. As time goes by food will be easier for you to eat and not obsess on. We all go through withdrawl after surgery. Most of us used food to hide behind. I was at my reunion last week with a huge buffet table. I took small amounts of what I wanted and than I was done. I didn't load my plate or obsess on the food. It will get easier. I eat Salad when I go to the mall.

veroniquetalk · 08-19-2005, 06:32 AM

Kimmy,
I know what you mean. A few days out from surgery I was feeling sorry for myself and when my husband asked what was wrong I said, "If I wouldn't have has this surgery I could be eating potato chips and milk right now!" It is getting easier for me now when I see the pounds melting away. (Plus I tried one - just one - potato chip last week and it made me sick!)

Julez · 08-19-2005, 08:06 AM

Kimmy,
Im sorry your feeling this way.Im 11mo out & at at times I feel the same.But then I think...I had WLS to be healthy.The foods I ate werent healthy for me.Yeah they tasted good & I enjoyed eating them but not good for me.As time goes on for me Im noticing that the foods I ate now taste HORRIBLE to me.You may stroll the mall & smell those old comfort foods now but I bet if you tasted them you would get sick and realize what the...why did I eat that crap

Just yesterday I picked up some fast food for my husband(1st time in a LONG time).I thought ok I'll try a bite of a burger..oh my gosh..it was so bad I couldnt stand it.Before I would have had two burgers to make me full,now I cant stomache the smell.
So girlie keep your head up.You will be fine those feelings will subside and you will look awesome & be healthy!!!

bridgetgirl · 08-19-2005, 08:52 AM

Hey chicken! Any type of change is extremely stresssful. But what I need you to do is this: look at yourself long and hard in the mirror, take your clothes off you need to and think of this... why in the hell would you miss McDonalds, taco Bell, etc when it got you to this point? Surgical intervention to save your life.... dont miss it, hate it! Resent it! And then give yourself a hug for having this surgery to get control of your health, it was courageous and you should be commended!
Next, embrace the fact that now you have control over those fast food chains. This surgery isnt a means to an end, you can have a cookie again, but this time it will be one.. you will eat it slower and actually TASTE it. How many times in our lives did we wolf down food and cant remember to this day how delicious it was? You will be able to eat a Jumbo Jack again.... 1/4 to 1/2 and it will be the best tasting burger ever! Why? Because you will take your time and actually savor it... OR with your new tool you may take a bite and taste nothing but grease and low quality meat and be disgusted! You will be able to enjoy your favorites again, in moderation.
My first year I watched everybody eat, I suggest you do the same the next few times you go to eat in a public setting. The amount of food on your plate is relevant to the size you are or what you want to be. example, small amount of food on a plate-usually a small person holding the fork, or a large person trying to get small. Watch larger people eat, ENERMOUS amounts of food, or waffle bowls full of ice cream, small people or those on a "diet" get one scoop.
The good news is you really enjoy the taste of food, when you get to that eating stage. So a small amount is okay, beacuse you savor it, appreciate the food more.
Lastly, recognize the fact that you are OBSESSING about food. Not healthy at all. Google that topic, obsessing about food and see what you find out. I think you should start something that will help you get over it. Im not judging you or saying its a bad thing, MANY folks still obsess, even when they get thin. Enjoy your life, food is no longer your life. Thats something that all of us need to accept if we havent already, our parties, get togethers, events and social activities no longer revolve around food. Its embracing the friends, family, good times and memories we are going to experience. Best wishes, I hope I havent ticked ya off!

Nikkiart29 · 08-19-2005, 10:22 AM

I obsessed about food too, BUT I finally started getting OVER it! Yes, it has taken awhile and still comes back into my brain every once in awhile...it's getting easier though! And, yes, it is wonderful to be able to actually TASTE the food I eat now. I used to be so worried about making myself FULL in order to satisfy my stomach, that I wolfed everything down like a dog within 5 minutes! How horrible is that!!! Now I SAVOR and enjoy my meal. People around me don't bother me as much now. I used to be jealous of how much they could eat, but as my weight has melted off I can now see that I am the lucky one! I'm not a slave to food anymore! And, yes, I do notice the enormous portions that people eat (and that I used to eat), wow, what a difference! No wonder I was MO! IT WILL GET EASIER! GIVE IT TIME! Good luck!!!

bridgetgirl · 08-19-2005, 10:27 AM

I was reading an article today that made a very profound statement with regard to this thread, it said " We want to prevent deprivationfrom seeting in, especially the "poor me, I have nothing to eat" attitude. There is plenty to eat."

Hey lil lady did you get a copy of the ebook I was offering up.. it has lots of recipes!