Question for long timers on maintenance - Page 2 - ThinnerTimes

Godsblessedme · 06-22-2008, 06:27 PM

what an awesome question Marella! i cant wait to start thinking of myself as a "thin" person i was telling someone just today i still feel like i weigh 270 (and i weigh 206) its weird and i hope that feeling goes away so i can enjoy what other "thin" folks do

Claire-in-Texas · 06-22-2008, 07:06 PM

Great questions!

I feel like a thin person in a thin body, for the first tme in my life. I know I will continue to be thin and health. Thr eason for my sense of this is because I made up my mind to be a very complaint patient, do exactly what I am supposed to do, and not give myself permission to go astray. Now it's just a way of life. It's a process, nothing happens overnight.

A lot of things clicked in my head along the way - it's a journey, not a destination.

Because I have evolved to being so totally different, with the real me emerging, my hopes and dreams now are different than they were pre-op. I just wanted to be pain free and thin at the beginning, period. What I didn't realize is that on this journey I would learn a lot about what made me a food addict to begin with, and my confidence in myself over time evolved so that my goals and dreams became different.

It's all an evolution over time, and my journey is a miraculous one.

losingit · 06-23-2008, 10:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AusLaurie

I wonder if part of whether we feel like a fat person in a thin body or like our true person has finally emerged has something to do with WHEN we started our battle with obesity?

I started mine at about 8 years old. I know others who only put on the weight after childbirth but had a great body throughout their teens. They seem to not see themselves in the same light that I see myself.

I still see myself as fat. Whenever my shirt feels tight against my tummy for example, I look down and am surprised that my tummy isn't huge. I am often reminded that I am not as big as I used to be because I fit better into booths or chairs etc but ultimately I still feel fat.

I also live in constant fear that I will regain the weight as I have done my whole life after losing it. I still obsess about food, what I can eat, when I can eat, what I ate that I shouldn't have etc.

I hope with time that will fade. I so very much want to feel like a "normal" person.

As far as pictures go, I have pictures displayed of our committment ceremony (marriage) displayed even though it was pre surgery. I think I looked very happy and beautiful on that day. I don't keep any pictures up where I think I looked fat and unhealthy. Funnily enough I may even have been heavier on our committment ceremony day than on other photos that I don't display. It shows what love can do

Laurie

At a year out from surgery I feel just the same as you, AusLaurie. I look at the scale and see this low number and put on clothes with tags that say medium, but my brain hasn't caught up just yet. I started to get obese at about the age of eight also. I think going through puberty with such low self esteem really takes a toll on your mental health throughout life. Being involved with adoption I've learned a helpful phrase, "fake it until you make it". It means to keep doing what you know is right even though you're not feeling or getting back what you thought you would, and eventually it will happen. So that's what I'm doing now, I'm a fat guy pretending to be normal until I do feel normal.

AusLaurie · 06-23-2008, 07:44 PM

Losinit,

Ya that is basically what I do most of the time too "fake it till I make it"

Hopefully with time we will have to fake it less and less eh

Laurie

LisaBoston · 06-24-2008, 11:45 AM

At 2.5 years out, I hope I can qualify as a long-term person.

I too am still the fat person, living in a different shell. Although there are days that I feel like a different person and I do believe that over time some of this will change, but never totally. Success is relative.....I feel I was successful through the process and remain successful to date. Its not all about the numbers on the scale for me. Its about being healthly, making choices and finding balance in everything.

This might sound strange, but I am the same person as before. I was comfortable in my XXXL frame, could wear a bathing suit without any issue. I wasn't healthy, I was concerned about being around for a long time for my child. I was in many ways very happy. Felt like my weight was one of my only failures.

I look back at pictures and wonder how I could have gotton that large and why I didn't see it. I grab a large shirt off the store rack now and in many ways think that was my size then and after 165 pound loss, still think thats my size. (I was a 5X top and 3X bottom before, now a medium top and 8/10 bottom) Big difference, even if I can't see it in the mirror.

Still I am surprised by things that I did before that I have forgotton. I don't have to think if the chair will hold my weight.

I eat many things I did before, just not the quantity and protein is my friend now, unlike the old days. I even had a little birthday cake for my 40th the other day.

Food will ALWAYS be in the forfront of my mind. Always be an issue. Its how I handle it. I often thought in the past that quitting smoking would be easier than dieting as you could go cold turkey.....I still think that way. Balance...this is my life.

My mindset changes all the time. I am in a good space right now. Have been from the start (with the exception of my tummy tuck issues)

Life is good.