Food Blues - ThinnerTimes

VanessaSFL · 04-06-2005, 04:55 PM

Hi everyone,
I went to my two week post op appointment today and just lost it(crying)I was just fine..have lost 18 lbs...then Dr.L asked how my eating was going and I broke down.I tried explaining it to my husband but I don't think he even gets it.So here is whats been on my mind:

I miss food.Even though I am not hungery,no hunger pains...I miss it.I miss that NO one has called to sched a lunch date-used to go out all the time to great resturants.I did not enjoy going to the grocery store.I can not even eat healthy right now if i wanted.*Meaning...Im on phase two still

I miss eating SALAD!I feel like I am depressed over food.I don't care how much you read,how many support groups you are a member of...ITS a life style change!Everything I knew is now different.
I have no regrets...I just had no idea food played such a large role in my life.
If I had a bad day,"lets EAT!!,if I had a good day,"lets eat!I enjoyed eating out. I feel like my life is starting over again ,even learing how to eat.Food was truly my drug.

Ahhhhh,I feel better.
Wish I could sign this post with another name.....

Vanessa

Mr AOR · 04-06-2005, 05:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VanessaSFL

Hi everyone,
I went to my two week post op appointment today and just lost it(crying)I was just fine..have lost 18 lbs...then Dr.L asked how my eating was going and I broke down.I tried explaining it to my husband but I don't think he even gets it.So here is whats been on my mind:

I miss food.Even though I am not hungery,no hunger pains...I miss it.I miss that NO one has called to sched a lunch date-used to go out all the time to great resturants.I did not enjoy going to the grocery store.I can not even eat healthy right now if i wanted.*Meaning...Im on phase two still

I miss eating SALAD!I feel like I am depressed over food.I don't care how much you read,how many support groups you are a member of...ITS a life style change!Everything I knew is now different.
I have no regrets...I just had no idea food played such a large role in my life.
If I had a bad day,"lets EAT!!,if I had a good day,"lets eat!I enjoyed eating out. I feel like my life is starting over again ,even learing how to eat.Food was truly my drug.

Ahhhhh,I feel better.
Wish I could sign this post with another name.....

Vanessa

I don't think there's a person on here that can't relate to what you're experiencing. It is truly a mourning process. Even though you're not hungry, there is a comfort associated with eating. It's instant sensory satisfaction. It's also the way we socialize, pass time, etc.

You are starting your life over, and it will be hard, but it's soooooo worth it. We don't have to be a slave to food, we can own it. But it's a constant struggle, and as soon as you can start to eat a bit more variety, I think you'll find things get much better.

I know that I was missing salads, too. For me, the big item was chicken. Once I could have chicken, the world was a bit better of a place to be.

Stay strong and keep reaching out. Everything you're going through is part of the healing process.

Dara · 04-06-2005, 05:19 PM

What Mike said is so true. We all mourn the loss of food. Heck, I'm STILL mourning the loss of Cinnabons. I don't think I'll ever get over that one! Bridget also said that the loss of food is like losing a best friend. It's true! Food was always there for me. It never judged me, refused me or talked back to me. It always made me feel wonderful, satisfied, and comforted. What a great friend I thought I had. But food wasn't truly my friend. It was my mortal enemy--it was killing me. You will learn this too.

Once you put food in its rightful place in your life, you will see. Life and success mean so much more than food. Sometimes it's not easy...I don't think it's ever going to be truly EASY. But the small bit of success and happiness with my newly healthy, thinner body that I have tasted will sustain my strength. I still struggle with head hunger and psychological issues, but I'm so much stronger now than before.

It looks pitiful to you now, but it WILL get better!

Delilaah · 04-06-2005, 05:23 PM

Vanessa,

You're going through what so many of us have gone through. I feel for you as I remember the loss I felt also. It was definate mourning. It was as though I'd lost my best friend. I remember feeling so sorry for myself that I could no longer eat the quantity as I used to. It was also so unexpected, but others in the group reassured me they had also felt the same loss and it would pass. And it does. Time is the great healer as they say.

~gloria

VanessaSFL · 04-06-2005, 06:23 PM

Continued.....Thanks for responding...I didn't even want to post my name to it.I really do feel a loss.It's all mental.I miss the color of food.Cream of mushroom is only so colorful.

Can you guys eat salad?Eat and enjoy it?I tried snow peas today...nice try!
It feels great venting

Thanks again,Vanessa

Blueyz · 04-06-2005, 06:36 PM

Vanessa~

Hang in there. This is soooo normal. I lost my best friend and I thought I would never be able to eat normal again. Now I have the opposite worry...I am worried that I can eat TOO much.

triciaknox · 04-06-2005, 07:00 PM

Vanessa,

I started fighting the food battle a month before surgery. I would look in the mirror after I got out of the shower and take a really good look at me, in all my non-glory. Then I would say, out loud and for all to hear, "I thougth food was my friend, but if this is what it has done to me, it is no friend of mine." It has worked. I mourned food when I was in the soft and liquid stage, but since then...........nah! I got to start salads at about 6 weeks out. So, 3 times a week I have a chicken caesar salad with a nice tasting low carb/low to non-existant sugar Creamy caesar dressing at lunchtime. So chin up, fight your mind back!

Another thing I would do. You are watching tv and a commercial comes on for a hamburger from one of the local fast food places. Immediately my mind would go "I want that". And I would come back with "It NEVER looks that good in REAL LIFE and it never tastes as good as they make it look either". Then the mind goes.........."oh yeah, you are right". Soon the mind starts giggling when one of those commercials comes on.

Oh, okay, so I am a bit tipped in the head!

TabFox · 04-06-2005, 08:40 PM

I agree with the others; we all mourn the loss of food. As a culture, we celebrate with food. Christmas=food, Easter=food, weddings=food, funerals=food. Once you're past that liquid stage, things slowly get better. Two weeks after my surgery, we went to a family reunion, which means tables and tables of home-cooked food. I had my little container of yogurt. Needless to say, I had a bit of depression, so I just excused myself and went to eat my yogurt and read a book in my van for a while. It was so hard not to be able to eat. But....fast-forward 5 months to Thanksgiving. I could not eat much, but at that stage, I was able to have some turkey, potatoes, veggies, etc. My sister even made sugar-free pumpkin pie for me. I'm about 10 months out and yes, sometimes I still *miss* some things, but other times I'm glad I can't or won't eat junk. I miss greasy, fast-food hamburgers sometimes, and then I talk to myself and remember that they're loaded with fat, sodium, chemicals, mouse guts, and who knows what else. It's almost a daily reminder that I did not go through the pain and expense of having surgery to see what I *could* get away with eating. When I mourn food now, I can easily overcome it when I slip into my size 8 jeans.
If you want someone to talk to about it, please let me know. I'll be more than happy to call you!

321/181/???

VanessaSFL · 04-06-2005, 09:12 PM

Hi Tabitha,I grew up in Va Bch ..spent 25 years there.Are you anywhere close?
Thanks for responding,Vanessa

LizardQueen · 04-07-2005, 11:38 AM

Honey what you are feeling is so very normal! I was the same way at the same point you are now. I still feel that way some days. I've just learned to find new things to do (easier said than done). I posted on hear at about 2 wks that I was miserable because I made tacos for the family and I couldn't have any and what had I done to myself. I had my little pity party and thanks to the great folks hear I got over it quickly. Your life is not over. Your life with food has changed drastically. There is a mourning period. Food was my only constant friend. No matter what-Cookies, cake, chips, pizza, etc. never once turned their backs on me. No matter what when I got home they were waiting with their arms open wide to comfort me. Well, now I don't need them any more and I never will again. Wls is hard on your head! Food is emotional for all of us. You will have days when you are just miserable because you can't have birthday cake at work, but you will also have days when you get into clothes you haven't been able to wear for three years and your on cloud nine. I'm sending you a big hug. Just like the one I got the day I felt so bad. It will get better and we are hear to help you. If you want to talk any time just send me a message and I will be hear to provide emotional support instead of cookies. Don't hesitate to reach out!