have any of you felt this way? - ThinnerTimes

bridgetgirl · 02-07-2005, 02:59 PM

Okay guys, Wed is my rebirthday and I am at goal... all should be swell, right? I felt underneath it all that by losing weight that my life would get easier... I dont know how it would I just thought that it may. But for the past few months I feel as though my thinking is clouded, my thoughts are sometimes irrational, I dont think cleraly and I feel uncomfortable and uneasy... I dont know why. I cant shake this feeling..... maybe I need some of those clear thinking meds... maybe depression is setting in because my life isnt the uphoric life I thught I would have...nothing is easier I only feel as though as things are getting more difficult... dealing is becoming difficult. I feel like Im at the end of my rope ands slowly slipping off ....... anybody else experiencing this? Anyone have any suggestions?

bridgetgirl · 02-07-2005, 04:01 PM

I was talking with a very dear friend of mine... (someone who has not had this surgery) and I told him how I was feeling and this is what he said:

"as long as you know that it's temporary
people have to feel down
yin and yang"

Simple huh? I just makes sense, I cant always be up! Boy am I one lucky girl to have so many swell pals!

Esouza · 02-07-2005, 04:28 PM

Hmm...

Could be anything but I will tell you for myself losing the weight was the easy part. I know it sounds crazy. I can hold on to anything for a year or maybe even two but for me I had to make a lifestyle change. I felt it slipping too after a year. I was so good and felt very empowered after WLS but as I could tolerate more and differnet types of foods the bad guys came back. That honeymoon period is no joke. It was a what do I do know thing. Know I had to find a new way of living because all I knew was the lifestyle of a fatman. It became pretty clear. There is a certain lifestyle for a healthy active person and a lifestyle of an unhealthy obese person. Which one am I living now? Well it was the bad one so things had to change. Now having said al that are things ultra-jiggy? No.... Like your friend said threre will still be bad days. People will pass in your life, bills will need to be paid, romantic relationships will come and go. How you handled it before and how you handle it know is the difference. For me the before was to wallow in the self-pity, stuff myself, and hide from the world. Basically I let the depression run me over. Can't use the food to feed the emotions anymore so now what? Now I can identify the depression and when I feel it creep up on me I use the tools I have used to overcome it. It can be journaling, getting out of the house, or whatever. The bad thing about this surgery is the lack of aftercare for emotional or mental fitness. For some people it is a big issue but you are left on your own to figure it out or get help. I know exactly where your coming from girl. It sucks but no fear. You can overcome it with a little help.

Big hugs for ya.

bridgetgirl · 02-07-2005, 04:48 PM

For a minute there I was starting to feel like a freak and an emotional basket case! You said, " How you handled it before and how you handle it know is the difference." I think this is also the problem....... I feel different. I dont like it, and I dont know how to get around it... back to therapy I suppose. maybe I could go out on stress disability... lol. I am mentally incapicitated right now.... lol

Thanks for the hug Ed... this girl needed it real bad!

bridgetgirl · 02-07-2005, 04:49 PM

maybe thats how we can make our million! Figure out emotional and mental fitness for the Bypass patient... and write a book! Whaddya think?

Esouza · 02-07-2005, 04:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bridgetgirl

For a minute there I was starting to feel like a freak and an emotional basket case! You said, " How you handled it before and how you handle it know is the difference." I think this is also the problem....... I feel different. I dont like it, and I dont know how to get around it... back to therapy I suppose. maybe I could go out on stress disability... lol. I am mentally incapicitated right now.... lol

Thanks for the hug Ed... this girl needed it real bad!

I don't like the feeling either sometimes. I question it even tho I know it's a better and a more rational way of handling things. My knee jerk response it to run back to the old ways. I have to work thru the fear quite a bit to not retreat. I think therapy is the right course. Get yourself some tools to work with. About the emotional basketcase thing.... I'm right there with you. lol The book sounds like a great idea. You write it and I'll read it.

lealphachienne · 02-07-2005, 05:47 PM

One of my psyche's collegue is writiing a book on post bypass recovery. I don't know when she'll have it done. If I remember, I'll ask my shrink about how that book's coming along. It's certainly needed.

Dara · 02-07-2005, 07:46 PM

Hey, everyone, I have a theory about the issues of coping and success. I think Ed said it best. We can put off our normal reactive behaviors for a period of time because we're involved in this whirlwind of weight loss. We are consumed with the process and our new bodies, so the old issues take a back burner. It's sorta like when I used to attract all sorts of chaos in my life to take my mind off of my severe depressive state.

Then, we finally get to where we want to be...and our old lives finally catch up with us. We find ourselves at crossroads. We are unhappy with our former MO life and the way we chose to live. However, we're not familiar or comfortable with how to live any other way.

We're really cozy with failure--been there a thousand times. It's success that's petrifying. It's scary trying to develop a new life!

I agree that therapy is the best way to build a new life, whether it is a little change or a lot of change.

HAMPTON5555 · 02-07-2005, 09:04 PM

Hi Bridget,

I recently read an article in Prevention Magazine about 3 sisiters who had W.L.S.. One of the sisters was quoted as saying, she still has all the chaos and complications of life, she's just not hungry.

Maybe that helps knowing.

She lost 130 pounds and has kept it off for 3 years. She is now a svelte 115#'s.

Rain

lealphachienne · 02-08-2005, 06:46 AM

We are that little larvae that is emerging as beautiful butterflies. We have reach our transformation and are fragile, wet little butterflies. We are testing our wings, gently waving them in the wind. When our wings are dry and strong, then we fly!!!!!!!

I was discussing this with my husband last night. He went through the same feeling when he was close to goal. We are no longer fat people. No stranger would ever guess we were ever fat. We want to cast off the old fat life and begin a new skinny life without all of the baggage. Sometimes it gets tiring explaining to EVERYONE about your weight loss and how you're doing.

As for my hubby, I think this was a key factor in his turning to booze to soothe that restlessness. He felt trapped in his old self and didn't feel he had options to explore his new self. He squashed his emerging butterfly rather than to fly with the wind.

I don't think there's a right or wrong choice at this crossroads. The key is learning to accept whatever consequences, good and bad, that will come with whatever choice is made.