Size 6...feel worse than when I was a size 28! - Page 2 - ThinnerTimes

Blueyz · 02-02-2007, 08:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JenBear7

you didnt offend me.. and you have a reason to feel like.. err..well to not be in a pleasant mood.. i was just teasing ..

Good, I never like to make anyone mad. I am so down lately..too many things going on with my poor body and health.

Hunnyblonde · 02-02-2007, 08:55 PM

Just like John and Cindy said, when the right one comes along--it won't matter to him. Here's how I know: Just a few months before meeting my sweet hubby I had to be put on a CPAP for sleep apnea. I was so scared of having to live my life alone because I just couldn't imagine anyone loving me if they had to sleep with Darth Vadar every night. As I was sharing my fears with a guy friend he said, "Don't worry. When the right one comes along, he won't care and will love you for you." Sure 'nuf when I first met my hubby I wanted to tell him right away so it wasn't a shock if the relationship went far enough for him to see it.

Basically his reaction was, so what? I'll be asleep. It was totally a non-issue and I kinda knew that he was gonna be the one.

Your "right one" is out there--now go find him!

lealphachienne · 02-03-2007, 12:02 AM

I'm sorry...call me shallow...I wouldn't want to be with a man that had a lot of loose skin either....(though I was married to one).....I would expect to be with someone that was similar to me with similar goals and desires. Perhaps weight/looks is just one part of it all. I was trim and thin when I married my MO husband...and we just never met on the same level......even after his bypass surgery (he lost 240), then I was too fat and it was role reversal.....anyways.......I'm all for PS and had plenty done fo myself....still have to explain the scars though.....

Bella · 02-03-2007, 01:21 AM

I don't think it's being shallow Marie.

I feel the same.

Stephanie, I know you probably don't want more surgery - but is that a possibility at least?

I have a good friend that inpired me to make this change who went from a 24 to a 2. Yes, a size 2 but she had the more drastic DS surgery so two years out ... she is still losing weight.

She looks great with her clothes on ... and her hubby doesn't mind the loose skin - but she does. She just got a huge tummy tuck becuase there was so much extra skin, she had to wear loose clothes so her skin could hang down.

My plan is to workout like a mad woman toning my body while I lose the weight BUT if I need it .... I WILL have PS.

It's something to consider.

porshh951 · 02-03-2007, 04:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lealphachienne

I'm sorry...call me shallow...I wouldn't want to be with a man that had a lot of loose skin either....(though I was married to one).....I would expect to be with someone that was similar to me with similar goals and desires. Perhaps weight/looks is just one part of it all. I was trim and thin when I married my MO husband...and we just never met on the same level......even after his bypass surgery (he lost 240), then I was too fat and it was role reversal.....anyways.......I'm all for PS and had plenty done fo myself....still have to explain the scars though.....

you're not shallow you're human. A great body is not only a gift to yourself but, also to you're partner. Physical attraction is just as important as emotional in a relationship....especially from a guys point of view.

I will be having PS for that very reason. I would never ask or require something from my partner that I am not willing to give them myself. I won't have any sagging skin on my body as a gift to her as much as it is for myself. I would expect the very same.

Another reason why I don't see myself dating for a very long time.

Mavisavis · 02-03-2007, 06:19 AM

I see both sides....and really it is about how YOU feel about your body and about opinions on physical attractiveness. If you are ok with it, then wait it out for the right guy who will accept you as is. If it also bothers you, then plastics....I am very happy with mine. Not to start controversy, but I do notice a theme on the message board of "they should love us fat", they should "accept", etc., etc. But when someone talks about dating or hubby.....the first thing you hear is, "he is hot", "look at those muscles", etc. Physical appearance does not make us, but it is important in our society.

rainrain · 02-03-2007, 08:11 AM

How people accept the differences in each other is a varied as people them selves. I am amazed at doctors, nurses, teachers care givers in general. I could never do that. But thank God there are people who do. With that said, I also appreciate artists and inventors and all the types that make this world go around. What am I leading to, well, the fact that we all have different ways of seeign and being in the world. Some people are unable to see past physical beauty and some see deep into a soul with out stopping at the skin...no matter how much there is.

It is not really about being shallow as much as how you are geared. My guess is that people who are visually inspired, lets say an artist may find beauty in the many shapes of the body. Like Reubens whose wife was a pasty white skinned chubby woman. He loved that about her. Talouse-Lautrec painted heavily made up prostitiutes, or my favorite Botero who loved to paint in extremes.
What I am getting at is that we all see beauty differently and to say we need tight skin to find the right mate or that my mate is better than your becuase he loves my sagging skin or anything that puts a person in a box is really just judgemental. It comes down to accepting our selves.
As some one who has gone through plastic surgery, I have to say things are still not perfect. You can not nip and tuck the whole body. Most of us have lost so much weight and unless you were only heavy for a short time or you are really young, the P.S. can only do so much. My tummy is flat, but I still deal with other parts and that is where self acceptance comes in. Along with that is confidence which is the sexiest thing in the world!!

Sure there is always the jerk, who can't find the right words to say he can not handle the skin, but you need to handle it first.
Be confident in what you have accomplished!! Dang...you have lost so much weight, be proud and wear the skin with homnor of your accomplishmnet.
If you decide to have plastic surgery than great, but it will not solve all the problems!!

Enjoy your live your self and your flesh. It serves you well in this life, embrace it and adore it it!!

Be well!!

R

Mavisavis · 02-03-2007, 08:15 AM

Good points Rain.....I still have areas that I have to accept. Even plastics does not create perfection. It did wonders for me, just as the weight loss did.....but we still end up doing a lot of the work.....daggone it!

Cinerbelle · 02-03-2007, 08:22 AM

I totally agree with Rain and Marty...it is how the mind is geared. My hubby loses and gains weight and usually ranges between 240 and 260...I could care less. I still want to jump his bones...its just HIM that soooo attracts me, I just can't explain it...he makes me laugh daily, he is such a great Father, a great Teacher, a great man...I can't put it in words, but he makes my heart leap just thinking about him.

CarlieGirl · 02-03-2007, 08:29 AM

I am sorry this happened, but obviously he isn't worth it. The right person will love you NO MATTER WHAT!! That is what love is, isn't it?