You've changed....... - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

bridgetgirl · 12-17-2004, 11:52 AM

My mom is here from out of town and very pleased with my weightloss, she has been very encouraging about that, but insisting that I bot lose anymore weight...... thats col, Im not trying to do that anymore... BUT she keeps saying ive changed and that Im not funny anymore, that I have lost my sense of humor. She has brought it up twice and now it's starting to bother me... I tried explaining to her that my life is diferent now, my priorties have changed, my friends have changed, what I do for fun and where I go have changed... I told her my life today is nothing like my life this time last year... are any of you hearing or going through this too? I mean I think Im funny... maybe my family doesnt make me laugh anymore because after going through therapy I realized how screwy they all are... lol I dunno? i just had to get this off my chest, being MO we/I are usually jolly, funny people always cracking jokes and ts expected to by stereotype alone..... I dont think Ihave lost my sense of humore like my mom keeps insisting... i just dont try to crack jokes all the time or act silly to mask how "happy" and how "great" things are....... Im rambling... are ya guys feeling me? What cha think?

Americanwoman397 · 12-17-2004, 12:04 PM

Bridget

Its so funny that you put this here because Aaron said the same thing to me last night. He goes you don't have a sense of humor about things anymore. I was kind of thinking its because I'm really sensitive and I'm pmsing to. Now that you say that I see it clearly. You know I think before we were trying so hard to be funny I mean to the point of going out of our way so we thought people would like us. I think now that we have all changed so much we don't feel we have to be funny for people to love or like us. I think I'm still funny and I think I have a great sense of humor but its just unique to me.

Love you girl

brutherford · 12-17-2004, 02:49 PM

It's the truth - we have changed. I don't think that I've lost my sense of humor, but it's not the dominant quality that people notice about me now. Now, instead of having to overcome my obesity to see through the fat and realize that I have a great personality, people just see me. We don't have to work so hard for approval any longer and that has probably made a tremendous difference.

Bridge - I'm sure it has to do with therapy too. I certainly became a lot less entertaining to my family when I started to deal with my issues, both the ones that concerned them and the ones that don't. Don't let it bog you down - you've made amazing, positive changes for yourself. People are automatically going to react to change by trying to put you in your place and get you back to where they want you to be. You and your mom are probably going to have to spend some time redifining your relationship - on your terms. Hang in there honey, and let me know if there's anything I can do to help.

paulinacervantes · 12-17-2004, 04:58 PM

bridget the truth i dont know if you ahve changed, cus i barely met you

but i say that you are a wonderful person and i just see it like that you have brought alot of smiles to my face! so i just think you are wonderful wether you changed or not ok?

ps. i am feeling wasy better, but today i went for the first time to the bathroom... it wasnt pretty at all?? is that normal??

lealphachienne · 12-17-2004, 08:18 PM

I think you're funny....as you siad, it's a different sense of humor. Now you mean it instead of masking any hurt.

bridgetgirl · 12-21-2004, 05:07 PM

Well said Barb... its no longer my domiant quality... I think Im funny too (thanks Marie) ... Im dealing with it... now I know I need to work on my posture .. thats definitely changed.. before I wind up looking like quasimoto!!!

thanks Tonya, Barb, Marie and Paulina Its good to hear that Im not alone with this... i got all my sistas with me.

Marnie · 12-22-2004, 05:17 PM

Bridget,

I am right there with you. I hear the same thing all the time. I have also lost two of my closest friends in the past month because I have changed. Most of the changing is because I just don't put up with the crap that I used to. It is that "Voice" Kelly referred to when I was going through my pre-op. Our lives have changed so much in the past year, it is hard to keep up with everything. You are right, your life has changed and some of the things that we used to laugh off we no longer do. I know it was easier to laugh at myself and sometimes at the expense of others and then eat through how bad I felt. But, that whole eating thing is no longer possible. My humor has changed quite a bit, but I wouldn't go back to the way I was 9 months ago.

Oh, by the way, for the latest update on me...... I have been so busy. I took the Director of Navy Housing in Atsugi Japan and will be leaving in about 4 weeks. Talk about another huge life event for me. I am relocating for 3 - 5 years and will be leaving my children here. Wish me luck, and let's try and get together sometime soon.

12-22-2004, 10:02 PM

Hi Bridget,

I know that we have never met, but after reading your last post I felt compelled to write and tell you how your "sense of humor" inspired me to start using this forum. Now that I have 5 days before my "big day" I can not tell you how much having this forum means to me. When I started reading posts, your replies and comments were so full of humor and compassion. If your "sense of humor" has changed than from this my point of view, I would have to say it is for the better!!!

When I have had concerns or questions your replies are sweet as sugar with out the dumping!!

By the way, I hope I can meet you someday as my starting weight is near to where you started and I hope I will do as well as you have. After looking at you photos I am given hope and inspiration!! I am curious as to how tall you are? In your pic you look tall, are you??

One more tid bit, I have a friend in Ohio who had the surgery 18 months ago and laughed harder than hard @ your "No Dumping Allowed shot!! ha ha ha ha!!! YOU MAKE ME LAUGH!!! YOU MAKE US LAUGH!!

stakeda · 12-23-2004, 06:33 AM

I've realized that my personality is changing as time goes by. I'm not as concerned about "entertaining" the people around me by being the comedian all of the time.

I'm more comfortable in my skin now. Who cares what others think of me? I like me and that's all that matters. Yes, I'll always joke around. I always have. But, I'm not all about "people pleasing" anymore.

Bridget,

Be yourself. It's okay. Go back to therapy, if you haven't already done it. It helps.

bridgetgirl · 12-23-2004, 10:53 AM

Marnie, Stacie and Rain ... good to hear from ya gals!

Congrats Marnie on your new job, Im gonna miss the dickens out of ya! When are we gonna go do karoake before ya go? I gonna kiss ya, your alot of fun n stuff...I'll never forget you and I ganging up on Gerry to "try" his first drink...peer pressure is a mother! I hope we get together soon.

Stacie: Hey sugar pea! I miss you lik crazy, Im glad to hear your party rocked! I havent been to the therapist in a couple of months, after the first of the year I will go back... so what my mom doesnt think Im funny... thats her monkey.. I know right?

Rain: Thank you sugar pea for your kind words and encouragement, I would love to eet you soon too! How about at the Est County Support group on the 12th? Last one there is a rotten egg.... lol I am a big 'ol bear, at 5'11" its funny because when I was BIG people hardly commented on my height, and now I hear comments all the time about how tall I am... and I ALWAYS wear high heels... ALWAYS! I like being a big ol bear!

When I send pics to family and friends I tell em I dont think Im losing weight anymore, I think Im getting taller! Good luck with your surgery, I will try and make it up there to see ya! (( HUGS ))