barbana64

Hi Bridget: It seems that the thread is common for all of us. Since losing weight and being "acceptable" now without trying so hard, those close to us say we are changing. Of course we are changing! As people who constantly have to "sell" who we are, we adapt, we laugh, we offer shoulders to cry on (or dump on), we must care for others, carry the greater burden, be smarter, spend more free overtime, etc. just to be allowed to be acceptable. However, after we begin losing the mask, we are acceptable at face value just like anyone else. That is when the trouble begins for those we have carried for so long. It can Mom or Dad or sis or boss or kids...anyone who we have allowed to take us for granted. Now, we appear to be like everyone else, but we must still allow ourselves to be "used." We cannot change only one thing! Change occurs across the board. I have noticed the biggest change at work! The next biggest change is my sister whom I love. I speak up and she says "Barb, you sure are changing! You used to be so nice ALL the time." We still love each other, but now I can be more honest without feeling that her love for me will change if I give a direct opinion, etc. Change is what it is all about. We still must teach others how to treat us. If we require more respect, they will change too because we have under gone a transformation that will not permit us to continue in a mildly or absolutely blatantly abusive relationship. Somewhere along the line we KNOW that our VALUE is still the same, but now we can require others to treat us with the love and respect we deserve. I could go on, but you all know what I am talking about.

REQUIRE THE RESPECT
EXPECT THE RESPECT
YOU DESERVE IT
NO ONE IS BETTER THAN WE ARE

We just looked different for awhile and behaved in a manner that we thought was more acceptable...

Bridget, you are a wonderful, lovely, savvy lady. You have more to offer than laughs. I believe your Mom should be one of the first to realize that her child has finally become a beautiful, confident adult. Isn't that the goal of every parent? Let me tell you that the woman to woman relationship between mother and daughter is one that is extraordinary and something to be cherished. As parents we want our children to grow and prosper and become all they can be. You, my dear, are well on your way. If I were your mom, I would be (as I heard a neat lady say once) FRICKEN happy to have a daughter like you.
Barb C.
Callery/open/7/14/04
239/174/134

bridgetgirl

Thank you sugarpea pie pea! That was very sweet of you. My mom is supportive of my weightloss and is very proud of me. She brags to all of her friends about it too, its pretty cute. Since posting this thread she hasnt said anything about since I told her how I felt about it. The other day we were talking about relationships, friendships, etc.... she said although I have always been beautiful it was nice to see my outer beauty was a reflection of my inner beauty. It was sweet moment. Im sure that I told her how I felt about it all, she has a different perspective. It stinks though, like Marnie said I too have lost friends through it all, but Im okay with that. In my past life (he he) I would have done whatever I could tomake ammends, but now I could careless, Im tired of being friends with people I have to make excuses about... those arent friends, those are crutches.... i want REAL friends... like I have found in y'all! Thanks again for your feedabck, your right on the money! And in the end we will prosper... cheaters never prosper but losers do!

__________________
J.Bridget Fisher aka koi-pea
2/9/04 lap 5'11"
298/172

Find me on face book using this email; bridgetgirl@msn.com

"People will argue with you that getting what you want in life isn’t something you can learn, if you’re destined to be one of the worlds winners as opposed to one of its perpetual whiners, its because you have been born with the right talents and temperament and have a big dose of self-esteem, ambition, and good judgment." Kate White