Stress... and how I'm not able to deal with it anymore - ThinnerTimes

deadboy · 08-14-2006, 06:32 AM

Maybe it's the summer heat, or maybe it's another side effect of the surgery but it seems like many of us are stressed out right now. My mom and sister were trying to do something nice for me on friday and they were worrying over some little detail of it. I just got sick of it and said forget it. Made them both cry. I of course felt like an ass but I knew it was all the other crap going on in my life right now. I just don't seem to be handling stress as well as before.

It seems like without food to sedate myself I find myself less able to handle some of the stress in my life. That's really weird. I used to be pretty unflappable. If I flipped out it was generally intentional and for a good reason. Now I am just sort of all over the place emotionally. Little stuff sets me off that I would have previously just rolled my eyes at. I'm sure this isn't unique, but is anyone going thru this? It's kind of disconcerting.

Dyann · 08-14-2006, 06:47 AM

Maybe some, not all, are the high level of ketones you have after surgery. They can make you a little short fused. Take it easy. It is good that you realize you are doing it and you can keep an eye on it. I am sorry you are having a rough time. Anything we can do??

deadboy · 08-14-2006, 07:13 AM

I think you are all doing all you can. Just being here and giving me a place to chat and vent is super helpful. I suppose the thing that's stressing me out is some of the changes in me, not the weight but the mental stuff, since the surgery. Overall it has been great. But there was a person that was very special to me that didn't like the changes and we have stopped speaking. It's my fault, but that doesn't make it any less stressful.

LisaM · 08-14-2006, 08:01 AM

Ron,

I realized about six or eight months post-op (so I'm slow...

) that every single one of my coping skills involved food. I baked cakes and cookies for relaxation, and when I was tired, I ate for energy, and when I was stressed--like all of us--I ate everything in sight. Sad-ate, happy-ate, celebrating-ate, angry-ate a lot... you know the list.

You're absolutely right - without food, we have to learn new ways to cope with every emotion. Recognizing that helps a lot. When I figured that out, I could tell myself that my anger over someone's words/actions was an overreaction on my part because I couldn't eat to make it go away.

And the whole relationship thing--as we change, the people we care about kind of have to scramble to keep up, perhaps if he/she has some time, that will heal itself.

LisaBoston · 08-14-2006, 08:33 AM

Ron, sorry you are going through this. Our bodies are used to more fat pre-WLS, thus can play games with your seretonin levels. I think what you are experiencing is normal.

My pouch does not do well with stress now. One of the surprises I have post-op. On days when the stress levels are too high, I have a real hard time keeping food in, or its very aggitated...so I take it easy on the food until the stress decreases...good thing its only every so often.

Hang in there buddy.

Hunnyblonde · 08-14-2006, 10:15 AM

Uh-oh, my DH will not be happy to hear this latest side effect...I'm already supreme bitch of the universe when I don't get fed on time! Hey, maybe I'll go the opposite way and have a sweeter temperment after the surgery!

Hang in there and thanks for letting us pre-oppers know what's in store.

laura · 08-14-2006, 03:04 PM

I have become psycho.... I have a short temper and I cry, sometimes at the same time. I keep trying to tell myself this will pass, but I'm getting worried. I think part of my problems is that I just dont seem to have much energy, especially in the heat. I know my body is changing, and my mind is changing but I just wish I could be more level headed.

LyndasRoom · 08-14-2006, 03:19 PM

Ron,
Realizing what is going on is half the battle. Before I had surgery, my aunt told stories of what a biatch my cousin, who is a stapler, had become. They all said "**** used to be so sweet". Well, she's dealing head on with things now instead of shoving food in her mouth. People around you will understand for awhile...but you know what's going on, so you're one step ahead.

SPICYEYES99 · 08-14-2006, 06:54 PM

Ron, I concur with those feelings and sometimes have to go out and calm down or talk myself out of yelling at the kids for not a big deal thing. I did get some anxiety meds from the doc because I was getting to stressed out and making myself insane.
They help me get the edge off occasionally and have helped me over the hump. See your doc and see what he/she says. I am usually Miss Optomist and cheery gal but I was flying off the handle too much and it was just NOT ME, so thats where the doc stepped in and gave me a break with some lovely little pill I break in half and take twice a day, if needed.

I also would write on here to vent so use us as needed :-)

TabFox · 08-14-2006, 09:38 PM

Yeah, I've ridden the "bitch boat" too. The hormones go wacky, we don't have our "friend" food anymore, people behave differently towards us...so yeah, there are a lot of things changing. I know that now I'm not nearly as tolerant as I used to be. I'm on Lexapro for anxiety attacks, which started before the surgery, but now are a bit worse. I think we all have some sort of emotional demons in our closets, otherwise we wouldn't be morbidly obese in the first place. BUT....there are support groups, psych drugs, and thankfully this website so we can vent! We're not the only ones who have problems, though...skinny people apparently turn to other outlets instead of food, I guess. As times goes on, it will get easier to deal with the changes. Then you arrive at the point where you actually miss the changes. I'm almost 2 1/2 yrs. post op and I guess I'm finished losing weight (bummer). No more dropping pounds everyday, no more dropping sizes. I feel as if the carnival is over. Now I have to battle the "I'm bored, so let me find something to snack on" monster.