Stacie's Journal (stakeda) - Page 9 - ThinnerTimes

bridgetgirl · 01-10-2005, 10:37 AM

What the heck is going on? You are frigging grown... you are the grown up. Adam is such a sensitive person, but he is the child.. you are the grown up. You went out to celebrate yor birthday, your new life, your new job with your new friends... it was a celebration and there is NOTHING wrong with that. You should ask Adam if the subject should come up again... what are you ashamed of? What is the deal? Remember the last time you felt this way.... the CHAD incident... Stacie its your life, you are accountable to you like you always have been... you went out and had a birthday party and now you are a marter? I dont think so. For so long you have been your childrens best friend as well as their mother, always putting their needs before your own and making a lifetime of sacrifices for their well being, to make them happy... you need time for YOU once in awhile, how long does that happen? Very rarely do you ever cut loose, and let your hair down without your childrens approval...... I dont see anything wrong with celebrating... tell Adam that twice a year you would like to have the opprotunity to get a little crazy... now does that sound unreasonable? You came home drunk... its not like you woke up drunk with a stranger somewhere... now thats embarassing and something to be ashamed of... but not what occured this weekend. Which by the way, Im sure you spent Saturday and Sunday catering to your childen... business as usual... your a wonderful gal Stace... and your entiltled to let loose twice a year, well....because I said so! Now get over it you big cup!!!!! Adam will get over his disappointed.... but you have memories to last a lifetime! Party on Wayne..... I love your face!

Christina · 01-10-2005, 11:01 AM

So if you don't want to hear the harsh reality, then don't read on my friend. Stacie, I love you to death. However, I know that you wanted to get out and "party" with your friends, and that means having one or one too many drinks.. you already know that you have a "problem" with drinking and you did it anyway. Your son probably watched his own Dad and countless others in his family fall off the wagon time and time again. Did you tell the kids about your resolution to stop drinking? Did they feel as if you lied to them or yourself? Kids are very perceptive, and they don't sugar coat things, they don't know how.. they tell it like it is. So it sounds to me like you are trying to sabotage yourself or your relationship with your kids.. I don't know I wasn't there. I know that if I were there I wouldn't have taken a drink because I would have been driving, however, I know that you must be going through a lot and masking it with alcohol is not going to help one bit. You are such a special person, but I don't want to see you clinging on to outside influences and rationalizations to drink. If you have a problem with alcohol one drink as you know is too much and 100 aren't enough. You must nip this in the bud and your "friends" if they are true friends will respect the fact that you don't want or need to drink. If that means going out less and "partying" less then that is what it means. There are many other things to do other than drinking my friend.. you just need to learn those things now. I hope that you don't hate me for posting this.. but I tell it like it is and if your friends really cared about you they wouldn't allow you to drink.. that's just my opinion.. and I am sure I will get plenty of hate mail over it but I don't care.. I love you enough to put myself out there for people to criticize so I can be a good and "TRUE" friend to you.

bridgetgirl · 01-10-2005, 11:36 AM

Christina you wrote: "I tell it like it is and if your friends really cared about you they wouldn't allow you to drink.. that's just my opinion.. and I am sure I will get plenty of hate mail over it but I don't care.. I love you enough to put myself out there for people to criticize so I can be a good and "TRUE" friend to you."

Is Stacie an alcholic or something? Am I missing something? Its funny how all this "love mail" is coming from people who dont even know you, havent spent any time with you other than maybe having an occasional dinner at the Outback. Lets not start critcizing anyone or compariong friendships here, because its like comparing apples to oranges... how can you sit here and say who is and who isnt a true friend? Its perposterous!!! Dara, Dale and Christina its obvious you care, very obvious but dont criticize someone you have not even spent any time with.

And as far as putting being put down as not being a "TRUE" friend is very insulting and frankly very hurtful. I dont even know how you can think that way, I am in shock... really.

Stacie, read the posts from people who know what your favorite color is, (pink) those who know your favorite food (mariscos) those who know who the love of your life was ( I'll keep that in bewteen us friends) those who KNOW the names of your cats, those who spend time with you, those who know you.... and if all of this is overwhelming talk to your therapist and Christy about it.... spirits up, you DID NOT do a bad thing and shame on those of you who JUDGE!

bridgetgirl · 01-10-2005, 11:48 AM

I thought this forum was a place to share problems and discuss issues about friendship and gastric bypass problems and emotions in a positive and non-judgmental environment. Just a thought......

Christina · 01-10-2005, 11:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bridgetgirl

I thought this forum was a place to share problems and discuss issues about friendship and gastric bypass problems and emotions in a positive and non-judgmental environment. Just a thought......

I wasn't judging anyone or anything like that. I was telling it like it was. I guess you misunderstood my post.. let the hate mail begin.. obviously I am not a "good friend" afterall.. I should keep my mouth shut and not try and help others. If you want to discuss it further, I would be happy to do so, off the forum.. I will give all the support I can to Stacie, but I refuse to offer her a drink.. but that is just me. She stated many times she wanted to stop, so I would be the last person to say "Here Stacie have a drink" call me crazy but that is what I thought support was.

pambragg · 01-10-2005, 11:59 AM

Okay, I have to admit......I am ticked about what Christina posted. As one of Stacie's "true" friends I am offended by the sactimonious tone of the post. Stacie needs support, not being criticized by someone who really does not know her at all except for some brief contacts at meetings. She has her demons, we all do. "but I tell it like it is and if your friends really cared about you they wouldn't allow you to drink.. that's just my opinion:" Excuse me.....back up a minute. Who the hell needs "permission" when they are an adult??? Part of being an adult is being responsible for your actions, not blaming them on someone else. Stacie is not doing that, you are Christina. This was a celebration of Stacie & Angelas birthday, not a time for us to go out and corrupt Stacie. I am really offended by this whole frigging thing. I support Stacie, good and bad. That is what a "true" friend does. Fair weather friends are there for the good, and quick with criticism when times are not so good. You are right, it is just your opinion.

watergirl · 01-10-2005, 11:59 AM

I've got to put my .02 cents worth in. I agree with Bridget. You are the adult. Please do not beat yourself up over this. You had some drinks with friends. Tomorrow you can decide to drink or not to drink again. You are the one that is in control.

"People who love you
people who you love back
people that will always be there for you
through the good times and the bad
they make you happy when you are sad
they are angels that have yet to earn their wings
they are your dearest friends"

pambragg · 01-10-2005, 12:12 PM

Just for everyone's information.......Nobody drove to or from the club that night. We took cab's to and from, so there was NO drinking and driving. Those of us that were there know that!

Christina · 01-10-2005, 12:16 PM

I knew that nobody drank and drove.. I said I personally wouldn't have drank because I HAD To drive myself. You all are reading way too much into this. I was trying to be a good friend, but apparently since I don't know someone well enough, I am not allowed to voice an opinion. Therefore, I will refrain from making comments, and will sugar coat everything from now on.. actually I feel as if maybe I will just go at this on my own without the support, because constructive criticism is needed sometimes for me to put myself back on track.. and I don't feel as if I can get that here without a fight so I will wish you all the best of luck in the world and know that you have made a difference in my life.. but now I will bid you all farewell and hope that you all do very well in your lives..

Thanks for everything but I really don't need this either..

bridgetgirl · 01-10-2005, 12:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pambragg

Just for everyone's information.......Nobody drove to or from the club that night. We took cab's to and from, so there was NO drinking and driving. Those of us that were there know that!

To clarify, when Stacie got to the club she only had water.... none of us gave her any liquor. We saw how drunk she was and only loaded her up with water......

Christina: I love you girl...... dont go. (( HUGS ))