Stacie's Journal (stakeda) - Page 4 - ThinnerTimes

watergirl · 10-25-2004, 08:32 AM

You should not take any responsibility for your nieces perdicament. It's not your fault either that people mistreated her. I'm very sorry to hear that someone you love is hurting, but it's not your fault. Let go, let God! When we feel defeated we have to give this over to a higher power, because it's out of our control.

It sounds like you've tried all the legal ways of protecting her and that is admirable of you. Nicole is very lucky to have you as her aunt. I'm sending you hugs and prayers your way.

stakeda · 11-03-2004, 08:40 PM

It's been a long time since I've written in my journal. I have been a busy girl lately.

Today I took Bridget to get her plastic surgery procedure done at La Palma Hospital. I woke up at 2:30 am, showered, and drove to La Palma with her. She was very calm, until about 7:30 am. At that point, she put her head in her hands and just sat for a minute. I could tell she was nervous & upset. She looked up at me with tears in her eyes. "I'm nervous", she said. It broke my heart. I know how that feels. Well, her procedure went well. She looks great!

She's a trooper. I'm proud of her.

I left the hospital at 3:00 pm. I picked up Isaiah from daycare. He misses his mom (Bridget). We're going to call her in a few minutes so he can talk to her. He and I went to the grocery store and bought all his favorite foods. He's happy. He's watching Cartoon Network. Life is good.

I had trama yesterday. I'll write about it tomorrow.

I had a good day today. I was promoted. I'm going to make about six figures a year. WOW. Never thought I'd make it there. Exciting.

I'll write about that later also.

I had a BLAST with "my girls" this weekend. Still smiling about it.

Gotta call & check up on Bridget.

Karen Wright · 11-03-2004, 11:15 PM

Stacie,

Bridgie is lucky to have a friend like you.

Sounds like you are doing wonderful!! 6 figures??? WOOHOOO!!

Lookin' good...feelin' good!!! You go, girl!!!

stakeda · 11-12-2004, 03:08 PM

Wow, the time is flying by so fast now. I'm super busy and I never get onto the forum anymore. I try, but unsuccessfully.

I went to my therapist today. I am having to answer some hard questions with myself right now. Why am I not taking care of me before I take care of everyone else?

For instance...My right eye has been bothering me for about six months now. It's like I'm looking through a cloud or through thick fog. I have known that this is a symptom of catyract. But, I've ignored it. So, the other night, my daughter accidently poked me in the other eye with her fingernail. Well, guess what? I couldn't see out of either eye!

How scary is that? I swear, I was blind for about 48 hours. It was horrible!

So, the question is...why did I let six months go by without setting an appointment to fix my right eye? I spent plenty of time helping other people, dedicated to my work, taking care of my kids, etc. Why do I insist on focusing on others and not myself?

So anyway, my niece and her parents had another tramatic experience last week. Mom & dad were still using and my niece called me in dispair. I don't understand why these two are using again. Her mom has been sober for seven years now. How can this happen? Well, her mom called me after detoxing for five days. She's sober now. Seven days sober.

My new position at work is demanding already. It's stressful, but I like it so far. I think I'll do just fine in the position. Well, that's what everyone is telling me in the company. I hope I live up to their standards.

Americanwoman397 · 11-15-2004, 08:52 AM

Stacie
You will do great at your job. You are such a hard worker and they are very lucky to have you. We are all lucky to have you as a friend.

XOXO

stakeda · 11-19-2004, 07:32 PM

I swear I have to make more time for "me". I seem to be spending every minute either working, mothering, bossing, etc. Just no time hanging out with "Stacie".

I found out that I actually DO have a catyract in my right eye. The Optimologist said that, at my age, this usually only happens when you've taken a big "blow to the head", or some perscription drugs can do this (none of which I have taken). I really couldn't connect what may have happened to cause this type of health problem. Then, I spoke with my best friend, Christy. She reminded me that my ex-husband used to beat me up when he felt like it.

Oh my God, that's it! That must have been what one would call a "blunt trauma". What a jerk! He scarred me for life! Anyway, I have to have surgery to remove the catyract. This sucks! December 15th, I have to go in and have my eye dialated. Weird.

So, my ex-husband is staying with his brother in Oahu, HI. He is actually off of drugs and trying to get his life back together. So, he called me collect the other night and asked for my advice about how to deal with his brother's resentment towards him. What was my answer? "Paul, you have been a MAJOR A$$ to everyone in your family for years. Humble yourself and do whatever you brother tells you to do. You are at his mercy and you deserve everything you get!" Believe it or not, he took my advice. And in the mean while, he apologized for constantly beating me up, both verbally and physically. He acknowledged the fact that he probably caused the catyract in my eye. He apologized over and over. I acted like I don't care either way, but I guess WAY DOWN DEEP INSIDE, it does make a difference in some way or another.

Anyway, I like my new position with the company. I feel comfortable in my abilities there so far. I hope I live up to the expectations.

stakeda · 11-21-2004, 12:00 PM

I had a really good time yesterday. I picked up Bridget and went to my best friend's house for a Party-Lite Candle Party. Man, those candles smell good! I bought my favorites. Can't wait to burn them.

Then, we went to grab a bite at Chinese Restaurant in El Cajon. Funny, we ordered way too much food, as I ALWAYS do. I don't understand why I can't shake this habit. I can't possibly eat more than a 1/2 cup...why do I insist on ordering 15 cups of food? Ridiculous!

After eating, we went to Pam's son's house for a Cookie Lee Jewelry party. I got some really pretty earrings and a necklace. I've noticed that I really like dressing up more, now that I've lost weight. I also have noticed that I'm willing to draw more attention to myself by wearing pretty jewelry and stuff like that. Hummm, funny that I never noticed that before.

I have realized that I've met some of my best friends through Dr. Callery's support group. These are my sisters. They "get it". They really understand me. It's hard to find good friends like this in life. It really is.

Thanks Dr. Callery! For everything you have done for me. My life is going good.

watergirl · 11-22-2004, 07:51 AM

You are so worth all the good that can come from the universe! I'm so happy for you!

I totally understand wearing of jewlery. I've been wearing more lately too!

Jeanie · 12-06-2004, 11:15 PM

Hello Stacey it's me Jeanie. One of your pod mates. It's nice to hear that you are doing so well. I have good days and bad days, but mostly good. Are you going to be at the holiday party on Saturday? I am going to go, so I hope to see you there.

pambragg · 12-07-2004, 08:09 AM

Hey girl, it's your other podmate here! Don't forget about the Christmas Party at Dr C's office on Dec 16th, I really hope to see you there. I won't make it to the OH lunch/party on Saturday. My company party is the night before and I plan on being hung-over on Sat. Hope to see you next week though!